What was I thinking?!

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KET_2010's picture
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What was I thinking?!

Does anyone else get that feeling?

Last night I was lying in bed and began to freak out! DH was asleep (out cold) and I was just starting to picture me having this little one and after he/she is born and them crying and me crying and I was happy but SO scared! Sometimes I sit there and think OMG what did I just get myself in to?!!!

Don't get me wrong, I'm very happy and excited. But sometimes thinking about juggling 3 kids, housework, helping one with school, one will be hopefully getting out of terrible twos, a newborn, the animals, cooking, etc most of the time alone since poor DH gets worked to death then add in schooling, classes, field time, deployments, GAH! My mind explodes!

I'm just nervous and I guess it's finally starting to sink in that OMG I'm pregnant with a 3rd kid and at times I will be alone in doing it!

Too bad I couldn't wake up DH and cry about it (I was seriously close to tears last night) since he had to work through to weekend (stupid military ruins all plans ha ha) and doesn't get another possible day off until Saturday (unless they decided to make them work through the weekend again training foreigners).

Plus I've been real emotional but trying not to cry because whenever I start to tear up DH teases me and he's like "Are you really going to cry?" because he finds some of that stuff funny (unless I snap at him ha ha. Don't worry he comforts me but he still kind of chuckles at it). Too bad men don't go through stuff like this. I bet he wouldn't be laughing then! Ha!

Anyway, I just thought I share that I have begun my freak out stage. Next up will be the "my house is disgusting, I can't bring an infant in here, we have to clean everything and get rid of stuff!!!" phase. I can feel that one just below the surface, esp after vacuuming today and seeing all the stains on the rug. Ha ha. Then of course I'll hit the freak out stage again in 3rd trimester. Okay time to eat now, LO is hungry haha.

Dixiemom1st's picture
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Sometimes I think the same thing. How are we going to juggle 3? My DH is the same way. I am sure you will do great but sometimes it just feels overwhelming.

mommyof1.5's picture
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Sad I can TOTALLY relate! I'm a full-time student (living on student loans, $ is already tight), I had JUST given up & gotten rid of all my baby supplies, etc. *sigh* Thankfully we have 40 weeks to prepare!

fittoac's picture
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You are sooo not alone on that! If I really let myself think about it, it's easy to work myself into a freak out at the idea of having a toddler and a newborn and doing it all solo. We see my husband 36 hours a week, which translates to me doing the single mom thing 5.5 days out of 7. Small panic attack when I think about adding a newborn to the mix!! I just remind myself that women do this EVERY DAY all over the world and survive it, so I will too!

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I'm not in the "how to cope with newborn" phase I'm in the "WTF did I get myself into cuz this baby has to come out and last time it hurt like an sob" haha

AnnaRO's picture
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Yup! If I let myself think about it I will have a nervous breakdown. DD will be 18 months old when this new one is born, DH just started a new job a month ago and I've seen him for 2.5 days since then. He will be gone on average 20 to 25 days per month (nights too). Since he will have been at this job less than a year when the new baby is born there is a good chance that he will miss the birth and might not get any time off after. I dont' have any trustworthy childcare so I take DD to my OB appointments with me.

I will be a single mom 75% of the time with an 18 month old and a new born. I will have to get up every 2 hours at night with the new baby. I'm scared out of my mind!

jolly11sd's picture
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I think this sometimes too. I also will have an 18month old when this LO comes, as well as a 6 year old. I'm still nursing DS2 and plan on tandum nursing if that is what he wants to do. He is such a baby still though. Also I run a preschool out of my home with 12 kids daily. Sometimes I wonder how I can spread myself so thin but I know it will all work out in its own way so I try not to stress about what I can not change.

mrsdjp_rez's picture
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I was just thinking the same thing this morning when dd (3, will be almost 4 when this baby arrives) woke up at 5am!! She is a mama's girl and only let's me get her up in the morning and I have t make her breakfast...dh tried to help out, but most of the time she tantrums until I go get her...I'm especially worried becaue she will be sharing a room with ds (who will turn 2 the same month the baby arrives) I'm worried she will wake him up all the time. My dh works closing shift and weekends, so I feel like a single mom most of the time...I am freaking out about how I am going to take them to the store all together. I remember freaking out when I took the two out for the first time...so I know I will figure it out...

So, yeah...I will be thinking of all of us with 3 little ones as we reach each milestone!!lol!

jhj
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I remember being worried about the second little one and thinking that I would be house bound. It is amazing when you are actually living the situation how you can think of ways to make it work!! I think my moment when I realized I could do anything with kids was when I promised two of my guys we'd go swimming and then the planned visit for my other two got cancelled. I took all four swimming and it was super stressful... I spent the whole time counting in my head 1, 2, 3, 4.. ok... 1, 2, 3, 4, .. ok... but when we got in the van afterwards and my littles (they were between 2 and 4) said "That was fun!!" You realize it is worth it!! And you realize how much more capable you are, and how much more capable the kids are!!! You will do fantastically as a mum of 3, just give yourself time to work up your confidence!!

KET_2010's picture
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My husband is a really great guy and will help out. So I'm not worried about when he's around ha ha. Although our almost 2 year old is a big mama's girl! She wouldn't let him get her out of her bed today, I had to do it. She will get up in the morning with him, but then she will come back upstairs and climb on the bed, shake me to wake me up, and will even try to pry my eyes open. It's kinda funny and when I see her sweet face I can't help but get up with her!!!

My mom had 3 kids under 4 with me born. She said before my younger brother was born, when she would go to the grocery store with us, it got so bad that as soon as she walked in with us, they began following her with a mop! HA HA! She was embarrassed because every time we went in we broke something ha ha. This was around the time I was probably 3 -5. Ha ha. She has had the problem that when I was an infant and toddler, if anyone I didn't know LOOKED at me I screamed and cried ha ha. I bet I was fun! But I know she wouldn't want it any other way.

I think about funny stories like that and I think about all the little stories I get to experience. I just fear of having to do it every now and then. Although I already love this LO growing inside me and I can feel him/her kick every now and then (just little bumps) and DH swears he can feel him/her too. I'm excited but scared. And these hormones sure don't help! Ha ha!!!