"When are you having another one?"

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AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033
"When are you having another one?"

Has anyone had people (rudely, IMO) ask this question? Or "Are you going to have any more?" or worse, "You're done now, right?"

Just wondering if anyone has had these types of questions asked. My FIL asks about once a week how many more kids we are going to have and it pi$$es me off every time. He's old and means no harm, so I just kinda say we are done and try to move the topic along to something else. But I don't know if we are done. Sometimes I feel like we are and then other times I feel like we can't be done yet. I keep flip flopping.

daria's picture
Joined: 07/22/03
Posts: 496

I've really only heard it from my FIL. We are definitely done so it's not offensive to me, but I used to get really annoyed between DS1 and DS2 when people would ask when we were having another, or assume I was pregnant any time I had a cramp or a twinge.

Joined: 01/16/07
Posts: 951

People ask when I'm going for a girl.....uh never! Done done and done
I'm sad as Adam gets older, no more a newborn sniff sniff but I'm not interested in doing that pregnancy/delivering thing Smile

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

"LJB07" wrote:

People ask when I'm going for a girl.....uh never! Done done and done
I'm sad as Adam gets older, no more a newborn sniff sniff but I'm not interested in doing that pregnancy/delivering thing Smile

I think that is so rude and annoying when people ask if you are going for a girl if you have boys or a boy if you have all girls. I'm always curious too, but geez, it can get to the point where people almost devalue a new child because it's 'just another _____'.

I annoy easily though and I even get annoyed when people tell me how perfect it is that I have one of each. I just don't think that needs to be part of the conversation.

KET_2010's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
Posts: 1737

Is it the same if I ask my husband when we can have another? Lol.

I still get the "You're too young to have that many kids!" phrase. I'm 25 1/2 (lol had to add the half!)

I do have people who say I'll probably end up with another one. Then there was the drs appt where I swear that lady hinted at me having another one lol.

But I think it's rude, unless they really are asking out of curiosity.

Dixiemom1st's picture
Joined: 09/07/07
Posts: 620

We don't hear it becuase I make it very clear to just about everyone that we are done. But if you are flip flopping it would be hard.

jhj
Joined: 08/06/11
Posts: 360

I rarely get this question. My husband and I are completely undecided on whether we are done or not, but people in public usually leave it alone. I had a great time last fall when I was pregnant since I had 4 kids who were 4, 3, 2 and 1 and was visibly pregnant. The best part was that the kids I had were brown, white, brown, white, so you could just see people trying to figure out how this had happened... whether I had step-kids, whether I had daycare kids except that they all called me mum, or what!!! It was quite entertaining to watch people try to ask and figure it out when I won't say anything beyond that they are my kids (since it is no one's business if a child is in care, beyond that child and their family).

How I wish there was a clear sign whether to have another one or not... on one side, since my husband is the hereditary chief of his band, he of course would like a son to take over his position, but on the other side, in our current society, children are so expensive as they get older and I'm not sure we could afford a third....

Heather