Would it be selfish....

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kduncan2897's picture
Joined: 02/21/08
Posts: 924
Would it be selfish....

for us to adopt the little girl we've always wanted and not have anymore kids of our own?? I am pretty sure we are D.O.N.E. having our own children, as pregnancy is not really my friend and this will be my third c/s in less than 4 years. I am just wondering, does it make me an awful and selfish person to specifically adopt the little girl I have always wanted instead of having any more children of my own??

KET_2010's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
Posts: 1737

I believe adoption is wonderful. I don't think it's selfish either. I have a friend who has two boys and she really wants a little girl and is thinking about trying to talk to her husband about adopting a girl in the future.

I have thought about adoption as well. But mine would be to get a little boy (that was before this pregnancy...we hopefully find out next week). Although DH has said 3 is the limit so if we get another little girl then I doubt I'd be able to see about adoption, but who knows!

Joined: 08/09/11
Posts: 269

It is selfish to adopt when you're able to have biological children? Absolutely not. You're giving a child a home and loving family who would otherwise not have one. Adopt away!

ShylahEQ's picture
Joined: 12/08/07
Posts: 1003

"Ithilien" wrote:

It is selfish to adopt when you're able to have biological children? Absolutely not. You're giving a child a home and loving family who would otherwise not have one. Adopt away!

Agree 100%. In the case of adoption you just have the luxury of picking out the sex. Don't ever feel guilt about it.

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

I think that is a wonderful thought!! Sadly, there are many unwanted babies out there and I think that you wanting to provide a loving home to a baby girl is fantastic!

Angelshere's picture
Joined: 01/10/09
Posts: 361

In no way can i see that being selfish, you are giving a little girl a chance to have a loving home. There are so many little ones that need adopted and i always told myself that i will adopt some day and this is till my plan for the future.

youngmom08's picture
Joined: 06/23/11
Posts: 509

I agree. I don't think that is selfish at all!

kduncan2897's picture
Joined: 02/21/08
Posts: 924

Thanks so much, girls for your responses!! I just worried would it be received as "oh, you're only adopting b/c you want a girl" and some would look at that as being selfish. But if we would have had all girls, we would adopt a boy as well. And we even said before we found out that this baby is a boy, if it were a girl, we would still entertain the idea of adopting another girl. I just think that maybe its what we're meant to do. I told DH that maybe us having a 3rd boy was God's way of telling/pushing us to adopt in the future. If this baby had been a girl, it would have been way easier to feel like our family was complete and not go through with an adoption in the future.

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

I don't think it is selfish at all. Giving a child a loving home and family is a wonderful thing.
I told DH we are adopting a female cat if baby #3 is a boy. Not really the same thing, I know, but I would love to have some other female bond in my house.

PsycheGal's picture
Joined: 12/07/08
Posts: 768

I can't imagine at all how that would even begin to be selfish! Honestly, if it wasn't for the fact that FL has issues of giving adopted children back to biological parents I would never have even considered getting pregnant. I don't think it matters how our children come to us, and it only matters that they DO come!

Depending on what state we end up in after DH and I are finished with school, we plan to adopt, worst case scenario is that we will adopt from another country where no one can just one day come in and take our children because bio-mom decides she suddenly wants him/her.

So I say that if you have a daughter out there somewhere, there is NOTHING selfish about bringing her home where she belongs.

Joined: 01/16/07
Posts: 951

i think it's opposite of selfish

Joined: 08/06/11
Posts: 360

Most definitely the opposite of selfish... If more people adopted children, I wouldn't have a houseful of kids praying for a family to call theirs!!


mommyof1.5's picture
Joined: 08/06/07
Posts: 897

I think the only way it could be considered selfish would be if you got financial gain from adopting, and that sure as heck is not the case! While the expenses of adoption aren't something I could afford, that's about how much I am hoping this one is a boy - although I have a stepson that we'll have around for summer & school holidays, so I might get my fill of boy stuff in between.. not sure.

Joined: 06/15/11
Posts: 611

I don't think it is selfish one bit.

We are looking into adoption as well. We think we want one more after this LO but we don't want another baby so we are thinking about trying to adopt an older child.

Joined: 11/19/07
Posts: 38

I think that would be amazing... we are also going to be having our third boy, and I would consider adopting as well (I say consider because my hubby would need a lot of convincing to have a fourth child- wherever they came from). Smile

Jeffininer's picture
Joined: 11/07/07
Posts: 1796

Agreed. In no way would it be selfish. Completely selfLESS