Advice... Lil off topic but kid related

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AimeeS1911's picture
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Advice... Lil off topic but kid related

Ok so I need advice from similar hormonal people to see if it is just me... This will be a bit long due to background...

DH has two younger sisters. One I have a closer relationship with but she still has issues that can make me nuts... She is the epitome of middle child syndrome. His youngest sister is just a piece of work. I could go on for days with things in the 12.5 yrs I have been around but won't and just sum it um that she is spoiled, selfish and it is compounded by the fact that her parents have always allowed her to be this way. People meet DH and his sisters and cannot believe they are from same family because he is so easy going and willing to help anyone. I am an only child pretty much (have a half sister that I am not really close to) and come from family were no one is perfect and you all pitch in.

So DD's godparents are the middle sis and then one of DHs best friends since they were like 10. The sis that is the godmother was kind of annoying when we chose him because the whole family and stuff and she was pushing us to have her husband who neither me nor DH can really stand and neither of us think the marriage will last. They got married when DD was 6 mos. so when it came to Rylee I was really struggling because I knew it was assumed we would have the other sis but I did not want to at all. Godparents are very important to me as my parents struggled with drug addiction and stuff and my godmother was huge and still is in my life. There were a lot of reasons that I didn't want his sister but it really came down to the lack of effort she puts in to see DD... So DH and I sat down with his mom and told her we were having my best friend and not his sister. It went ok but not great she was upset and defended his sisters actions and whatever. Part of it was that DH presented it with a lot of negative and even though I stand by my decision I constantly worry this really upset his mom and since my family is so limited I hate doing that since she helps us so much.

So here is the hormonal advice question. So his sis has a live in boyfriend who is almost 50 and she is 28. He has three children in college and one a senior in high school. Recently they bought a condo and with this my sis in law is allowed to attend his kids sporting events (she was not before because his ex is nuts!). His daughter plays at a school that plays against the school I coach and teach at. So Monday I get a text middle of day that she is going to be at my school for a softball game and she hopes she will see the kiddos. I go to the softball games because our babysitter plays and I am very close with her mother. My response was sorry we are not going because too cold for Rylee. It was like 46 degrees. She responds ok see you Saturday at DDs birthday. So I get so upset and so did DH surprisingly because I live 1.3 miles from the school and she doesn't even come by. She has not seen rylee or Avery since Easter and NEVER goes out of her way to see them. When I was in emergency room my MIL sent them messages and the other one checked on me a lot. Never heard from her or got offered help when she was a teacher on vacation last week.

Am I over reacting? I am not sure if I just feel anger because I feel guilt that his mom is upset about godmother thing and these are things that she doesn't see.

Thanks for reading if you did... Need to get off my chest lol

crazy j's picture
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Sounds like she is just immature. I think that kind of selfishness sometimes gets worse when you get older and don't have kids. Too much time worrying about only yourself. I'd be willing to bet she is completely oblivious to her behavior.

AimeeS1911's picture
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Joan I totally agree and then at the same time if she is not included in everything I get spoken to. Like last week an aunt posted asking if she could come meet rylee and I said yes and then my mil suggested cooking out and having dinner and my SIL saw this and we were having a cookout and didn't include her and it was a war. She sent me an email this morning asking what food I was having for her at DDs birthday because she is gluten intolerant

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Ugh people like that are so frustrating. I have friends that are the same way. I will go out of my way for them and get nothing in return. She does sound like she is oblivious to her behavior. Did you invite her over after the softball game? Maybe you should tell her that you would like to see her more and just schedule a time to meet. Some people get caught up in their schedules and unless you schedule it, they won't think about you.

But its also strange that she feels left out when not invited. She should realize that flakiness causes her to not be invited to certain things. Haha. She does sound selfish, but I doubt she is going out of her way to hurt you. She is just oblivious to her behavior.

AimeeS1911's picture
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I did not ask her over because honestly me and DH can't stand her. It is all about her all the time and part of me wanted to see if she would do it on her own. We get spoken to like I'll kids when she feels left out. Yet then she leaves us out all the time. Friday nights are our dinner. iChat's where we order out at his parents usually. If we switch it to somewhere else everyone usually knows. She will then invite just her parents to dinner on Fridays. Ummm that leaves all of us out but that doesn't matter!