Am I wrong?

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Joined: 07/26/04
Posts: 1595
Am I wrong?

So by coincedence (since these two women don't talk to each other) my cousin and my SIL both called and asked if I was going to have a baby shower. Now I would LOVE to have one, since I have absolutely nothing, DD will be 8 soon. My response was that if the women in the family wanted to give me one that I would love it and they could talk to my husband and make financial arrangements. However, I was not going to plan my own baby shower. I don't feel comfortable having to do that on my own, it just doesn't feel right to me.

Am I supposed to do that?? IDK, my mom did my first baby shower. I hope I didn't offend them in any way....Am I wrong?

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

No, my understanding of etiquette is that you are never supposed to throw yourself a big "gift giving" party such as a baby shower or a bridal shower because throwing it for yourself is like directly asking for presents.

I would never throw my own baby shower either (although I won't be having one anyway for this baby since we have all of T's stuff.)

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

Ditto what Alissa said, you were correct.

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

:lurk:
You are correct. I have gone to baby showers held at the new mom's house (all the showers I have been to have been after baby is born) but they did not throw it themselves. I hope that someone does throw you a shower as I believe that every baby should be celebrated. I have been to showers for 6th babies, of course that one was for the first boy in 12 years and I am sure they really did not want baby dressed in all pink Biggrin

Joined: 07/26/04
Posts: 1595

Good, I'm glad you guys feel the same way! Smile I just hope they don't think that I was trying to push any of them to throw me one.

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

You're totally right ... and I bet they were just fishing to see if anyone else was throwing one already so one of them could plan one for you.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

"crazy j" wrote:

You're totally right ... and I bet they were just fishing to see if anyone else was throwing one already so one of them could plan one for you.

Yep! That was my first thought too!

lmiller626's picture
Joined: 07/18/10
Posts: 206

"Mari626" wrote:

So by coincedence (since these two women don't talk to each other) my cousin and my SIL both called and asked if I was going to have a baby shower. Now I would LOVE to have one, since I have absolutely nothing, DD will be 8 soon. My response was that if the women in the family wanted to give me one that I would love it and they could talk to my husband and make financial arrangements. However, I was not going to plan my own baby shower. I don't feel comfortable having to do that on my own, it just doesn't feel right to me.

Am I supposed to do that?? IDK, my mom did my first baby shower. I hope I didn't offend them in any way....Am I wrong?

NO you shouldnt have to plan/do your own baby shower!!! What in the world! You are not wrong. Do not feel bad and do not worrying about offending them. They should be worried about offending/hurting YOU. Okay, done with my hormonal rant. Sorry! LOL

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440

I agree, I'm sure they were just asking to see if anyone else has offered. You shouldn't have to throw one for yourself, but I don't think it would be terribly wrong if you wanted to do so. I don't follow normal rules of etiquette though.

I don't know who would throw me one. Half of my friends have babies and I think those friends are all dreading to offer me one, because its hard to coordinate with BF'ing and nap time and what not. Plus they all live kind of far from me, which would make it a long drive for my baby-less city friends. My baby-less city friends are mostly guys. There are a few gals in the mix, but I don't really see them as the shower throwing type. MIL will probably throw a small shower for me and host DH's family...that's what they did for my wedding. But I don't see them wanting to host a bunch of my friends they don't know.