I needed to type all of this out for my own sake ... so read if you've got some time.
At 40 weeks 2 days, I went in for a NST @ 1130. My blood pressure was a little high, but no one seemed too concerned and no one said anything to me about it. Next was the ultrasound to check fluid. As usual, my most of Emma was on the left side of my belly making me look a bit lopsided. When the technician put the wand on the huge bulge on my left side (which we thought was her rear end), we saw Emma's head. My midwife thinks she turned last minute, but I think she was never heads down. The technician guessed they would try to turn her then break my water that day. Then I found out the only doctor in that day was the less VBAC friendly doctor in the office. He's willing to do them, but only under perfect conditions. I knew then my VBAC wasn't going to happen.
I got cleaned up and went for the NST. As I was sitting, hooked up to the machine, I was told that I would likely be scheduled for a c-section the next morning. Then my midwife came in and asked me what I had eaten that day because they wanted to do it that day at 4:30. I hadn't eaten much, so they told me to be at the hospital by 2pm. At this point, I really wanted to freak out, but I had an hour and a half to get home, try and explain things to my 4 year old, get my stuff, then get back to the hospital (20 min drive each way). I barely had time to process it. My mother in law drove me to the hospital while I called the world. My husband left school and met me there. They took me to pre-op, hooked me up to an IV, and then we waited. They ended up pushing me back to 6 because of a small snack I ate at 10am.
Finally, it was time. They sent my husband into the hallway to wait while they finished prepping me. I honestly can't remember what all they did because I was really starting to get nervous and upset at this point. They wheeled me into the OR then gave me my spinal block. I was terrified at this point and couldn't stop crying even though I'd done this all before and was fine with it. They got it in and laid me down and finally my husband could come in. My midwife came to assist with the surgery which made me very happy.
Next was the surgery. It is an indescribably weird feeling to feel the pressure of the baby and the pulling, but not much else. It seemed to be taking forever and I started feeling like something was sitting on my chest. I must have looked upset because the anesthesiologist told me my blood pressure was low, he was giving me something for it, and that I'd feel better in a minute. It worked, but then it happened again and I felt terrible and scared and had a panic attack. Once again, the doctor fixed it with medicine. According to my husband, he also gave me something to calm me down, but I don't remember that.
Finally, I felt the immense relief of pressure when my baby was out. She was born on April 8, 2013 @ 6:39 pm, weighing 7lbs. 7.7 oz., measuring 19.5 in. My midwife showed her to me and all of the anxiety was finally gone. They took her to do some newborn procedures while they stitched me up. She sounded like a feral cat the way she was screaming. The doctor kept talking about my unusually shaped bladder and some other interesting things about my anatomy which really pissed me off because the surgery was taking twice as long as my c-section with Carson.
I love my midwife because she hawked over my baby and got her back to me as soon as possible so I could breastfeed her during her initial alert period. The little girl latched on right away.
Post-birth and some afterthoughts:
Emma continued to do amazingly well. All of her health check-ups went great except for a little bit of jaundice. Everything about her was perfect and we were all in awe at how tiny she was, at least compared to Carson, who was 8lbs 11oz at birth. She looks so much like him as a baby too. Breastfeeding continued to go well and my little girl still loves to nurse.
Recovery was slow and painful. I had an epidural providing pain relief at first. The nurse gave me something else in my IV since I was still hurting so badly, but I didn?t feel any relief from it. It took until 11pm that night for the pain to feel manageable. They took the epidural out the next day and switched me to Percocet. I did ok on that, but if I took two and didn?t have enough food in my system, I got really sick and upset. The first day I had it, my lunch was an hour late and I was weeping and miserable. A few days after discharge, I had terrible headaches and backaches, including painful spasms, which I learned were likely caused by the epidural. Thankfully, I didn?t have the bleeding problems I had with my previous section, which really slowed that recovery.
I am not sad that this birth went the way it went. I have faith that everything works out the way it?s supposed to. It?s quite possible that baby girl was breech because a VBAC wasn?t the right thing for me this time. C-sections are no picnic, but they both resulted in the greatest joys of my life. I am sad and a bit angry that I will never get the chance to birth a child the traditional way, but there?s nothing that can be done about that now. I had a hard enough time finding a provider that was willing to allow me to try for a VBAC, I?ll never find anyone that would do a VBA2C. Besides, we are 99% sure we are done having children. At the end of the day, I am eternally grateful for two healthy, beautiful children.