Classes?

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Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937
Classes?

Is anyone taking any kind of childbirth classes? I don't know if they'd really prepare me for "real life" baby - and I don't think DH would be up for it.

What are you ladies doing?

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

I'm not this time around, although I did take them before T was born. Jessica, you have experience taking care of a baby, so you'll probably be okay. I had literally never been around a tiny baby other than my brother, and I was too little to remember or help when he was born, so I knew nothing about them. The thing that makes me laugh about those classes is that they have you practice on a baby doll (like, practice giving them a pretend sponge bath, practice changing their diaper, et cetera.) They don't really tell you that when you give your real baby a sponge bath, they will be crying to beat the band and moving, because babies HATE things like baths, having their diaper changed, getting their clothes changed, et cetera. At least, T did. He would basically freak out every time he was naked, even when it was nice and warm in the room. So yeah. They might be a good thing to do if, like me, you know nothing about babies, but they aren't entirely representative of what it's actually like to care for a baby. I will say that the one thing that I'm really glad that I learned is crib safety - the way you aren't supposed to have anything in the crib with the baby, including bumpers. Every time you see a picture of a crib, it's got bumpers and stuffed animals and blankets. But actually, all of that stuff is considered a SIDS risk, so they say that the only thing that should be in the crib is a fitted crib sheet (and the pee-pad underneath) and the baby. I would not have known that if I had not taken a class. That's a $70 piece of info I just shared with you all, for free! Lol

Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937

LOL Alissa!! I read (on here I think) about no bumpers or anything in the crib with baby. I told Tim that she's not having ANYTHING in there because of the risk. Yes, I've babysat a couple of times for a friend of mine who had a baby. The first time, the baby couldn't crawl or anything, the second time she was crawling all over the place and the third time she was up and about - sorta ..she'd fall on her butt still LOL But the baby changing and bathing I'm not too worried about.

I'm worried about the crying. This is going to sound dumb but... when my dog started howling in pain a few years ago - I got up out of bed and took him to the vet and he was better when we left but I got zero sleep. The next night he started howling again, I took him to the vet again and ... I was so exhausted at this point. They said the only thing they could do for him was put him to sleep. Now, I KNOW a baby and a dog are two different things and he was old and falling apart. But, I don't want the baby crying to influence any decisions I make, just because I'm tired. And that's what I'm really concerned about. That I'm going to something stupid. THAT said, I know I won't do anything dumb or dangerous, I'm not that kind of person. But what if I snap at DH because she won't stop crying and then we fight? Or what if I have to call in (something I haven't done in 9 years)?

Stupid concerns maybe, but they're big ones for me

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440

I'm going to take natural childbirth classes to get me through the birth. DH and I are also taking infant CPR classes. I might go to LLL classes once the baby is here.

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

I'm not sure caring for baby classes will do much for you, except for safety issues and what not. I am taking childbirth classes this time. I had a scheduled c-section last time and am going for a VBAC, so my MW highly recommended a NON-HOSPITAL led class.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Jessica - I'm not going to lie to you. Most likely you will be pretty tired for a while after the baby is born. I will say though that IME after the first couple of nights, getting up with the baby isn't the same as having to get up and take a person or a pet to the ER in the middle of the night, as far as rest goes. When they are tiny they do wake up to eat about every two hours, but after a couple of days it isn't the same kind of worried/wide awake/adrenaline rush kind of being awake that you would have if you were making medical decisions about somebody or something you love. It's more of a sleepy grab the baby and doze in your rocking chair while baby nurses, then stagger back to bed and fall immediately back to sleep kind of thing. Which is not to say that you won't be tired or grumpy because you'll probably be both sometimes. But, it passes. Smile

Joined: 07/26/04
Posts: 1595

I'm not and I didn't with DD. I think it is a great idea though! Smile

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

I didn't take any classes with DD. The hospital I delivered in did have a "mandatory" meeting of about an hour after you delivered that you attended before discharge where they talked about SIDS and sleep safety and basic baby care tips. As far as the sleep thing goes, if you plan to breastfeed, learning to breastfeed while side-lying in bed really helps with the sleep. If you have the baby next to you in a co-sleeper you just pull baby over to nurse or have DH get baby for you and you can sleep/doze while they nurse, then put them back. In my case, baby slept in bed with me so I really didn't have to wake up much to nurse, just enough to help her latch on. If you bottle feed, DH can take turns and can help bring the bottles and baby to you so you don't always have to be the one to wake up. And having DH on board to help out if baby has a restless/fussy night where you have to be up and walking baby also helps a lot.

Alissa, lol at diapering the doll, so not the same! When dd was born, for the first several diaper changes both DH and I did it together, trying to hold her feet out of the way and get the dirty diaper off, her cleaned up and the new diaper on correctly-having four hands helped as we were learning how!

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Haha, I love the idea of both of you hovering over the baby like "You hold her legs...okay, I'm going to wipe...no, hold her legs!" LOL

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440

I'm going to make DH change the first couple of diapers since he has never done it before. Haha. I'm being very careful about baby training DH. Some of my friends have taken on the role of Super Mom/Mom-knows best and judge their DH's when they do something for the baby. I've noticed this puts them in a difficult position as the child gets older, their DH's tend to be more hands off. Anyways. I'm going to to tell DH that I don't really know how to change a diaper. Which is partially true. I've changed diapers on older babies but never newborns. And its been awhile.

I've thought about taking one of those classes only because I think it kind of levels the playing field. But I don't know that they'd help too much, plus its time and money...and my natural birthing classes are already going to be pricey enough. I told DH that we should watch a youtube video on how to swaddle. We are very geeky, I'm sure we will be googling all of our parenting and newborn questions.

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

"eliann" wrote:

I'm going to make DH change the first couple of diapers since he has never done it before. Haha. I'm being very careful about baby training DH. Some of my friends have taken on the role of Super Mom/Mom-knows best and judge their DH's when they do something for the baby. I've noticed this puts them in a difficult position as the child gets older, their DH's tend to be more hands off.

You make an EXCELLENT point. With DS, I had a C-section, so he had to do everything in the hospital. Also, I went back to work one day a week on his day off at first so he was forced to take care of Carson. I think that made a HUGE difference with how hands on he's been with him.

Clarkton's picture
Joined: 01/07/08
Posts: 1972

ITA with trying to involve DH in the basic care and being careful not to judge about him not doing it right. Men will often take a hands off approach if they feel watched or judged like that. It's so important to involve daddy not just from the stand point of you not having to do all the work but it's also a big part of bonding with the child. Daddy will feel much more connected if he gets to or has to (whatever the case may be ;)) do some of the bathing, changing and just plain holding and soothing. There is so much more to baby care than just feeding so I never understand the argument that DH/SO can't help enough with baby just because mom is exclusively BFing. I know it's easy as a mom to just do it but really make yourself let dad have a turn if you have to b/c it is so important to the bonding.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

"Clarkton" wrote:

ITA with trying to involve DH in the basic care and being careful not to judge about him not doing it right. Men will often take a hands off approach if they feel watched or judged like that. It's so important to involve daddy not just from the stand point of you not having to do all the work but it's also a big part of bonding with the child. Daddy will feel much more connected if he gets to or has to (whatever the case may be ;)) do some of the bathing, changing and just plain holding and soothing. There is so much more to baby care than just feeding so I never understand the argument that DH/SO can't help enough with baby just because mom is exclusively BFing. I know it's easy as a mom to just do it but really make yourself let dad have a turn if you have to b/c it is so important to the bonding.

Totally agree. If you are exclusively BF'ing, that does limit a tiny bit of Dad's involvement. Like, DH really never got up in the middle of the night with T because I was nursing and didn't really feel like it was any easier or more convenient for me to pump while DH fed him pumped milk (although that is certainly an option.) Also, I have always preferred nursing to pumping anyway, so I would never intentionally opt for a pumping session over a nursing session if I was in the same house as the baby. So night times were pretty much exclusively my domain, but beyond feeding, your DH can do diapers, bathing, and general holding and cuddling and soothing. Some of the sweetest memories I have of DH from when T was a tiny baby was coming home from a run and seeing DH laying on the couch watching sports with T laying on his chest asleep. :biglove: I've always thought that parenting can teach you a new way to love and appreciate your DH; seeing my DH be a daddy always melted my heart into a big pool of love. Smile

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

When we were expecting DD, I always told DH that I was responsible for the top half (feeding) and he was responsible for the bottom half (diapering) on the baby, lol! He is very hands-on by nature so he was more than willing to help out. The only thing he refuses to do for some reason is baths, although I suppose he would do one if there was an emergency (DD getting sick on herself while I am at work or something).

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

"Cherrychip" wrote:

The only thing he refuses to do for some reason is baths, although I suppose he would do one if there was an emergency (DD getting sick on herself while I am at work or something).

My husband wouldn't do baths for the longest time either! He's finally better about them, especially now that I'm so big and its getting hard for me to bend over to bathe DS.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Joan, does Carson have any interest in showers? T is the same age, and I have gotten him to the point where he takes showers most of the time (that's what big boys do!) He can pretty much do his own shower, I just have to turn on the water for him and then supervise a little bit, and help him rinse his hair. But he's tall enough that I don't have to bend over to help rinse which is a major plus as it gets harder and harder to bend down. Just a thought in case your DH is ever not available at bath time, so you don't have to kill yourself getting down to help him.