ITA with trying to involve DH in the basic care and being careful not to judge about him not doing it right. Men will often take a hands off approach if they feel watched or judged like that. It's so important to involve daddy not just from the stand point of you not having to do all the work but it's also a big part of bonding with the child. Daddy will feel much more connected if he gets to or has to (whatever the case may be ) do some of the bathing, changing and just plain holding and soothing. There is so much more to baby care than just feeding so I never understand the argument that DH/SO can't help enough with baby just because mom is exclusively BFing. I know it's easy as a mom to just do it but really make yourself let dad have a turn if you have to b/c it is so important to the bonding.
When we were expecting DD, I always told DH that I was responsible for the top half (feeding) and he was responsible for the bottom half (diapering) on the baby, lol! He is very hands-on by nature so he was more than willing to help out. The only thing he refuses to do for some reason is baths, although I suppose he would do one if there was an emergency (DD getting sick on herself while I am at work or something).
Joan, does Carson have any interest in showers? T is the same age, and I have gotten him to the point where he takes showers most of the time (that's what big boys do!) He can pretty much do his own shower, I just have to turn on the water for him and then supervise a little bit, and help him rinse his hair. But he's tall enough that I don't have to bend over to help rinse which is a major plus as it gets harder and harder to bend down. Just a thought in case your DH is ever not available at bath time, so you don't have to kill yourself getting down to help him.