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  1. #11
    Posting Addict crazy j's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by eliann View Post
    I'm going to make DH change the first couple of diapers since he has never done it before. Haha. I'm being very careful about baby training DH. Some of my friends have taken on the role of Super Mom/Mom-knows best and judge their DH's when they do something for the baby. I've noticed this puts them in a difficult position as the child gets older, their DH's tend to be more hands off.
    You make an EXCELLENT point. With DS, I had a C-section, so he had to do everything in the hospital. Also, I went back to work one day a week on his day off at first so he was forced to take care of Carson. I think that made a HUGE difference with how hands on he's been with him.
    Joan
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  2. #12
    Mega Poster Clarkton's Avatar
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    ITA with trying to involve DH in the basic care and being careful not to judge about him not doing it right. Men will often take a hands off approach if they feel watched or judged like that. It's so important to involve daddy not just from the stand point of you not having to do all the work but it's also a big part of bonding with the child. Daddy will feel much more connected if he gets to or has to (whatever the case may be ) do some of the bathing, changing and just plain holding and soothing. There is so much more to baby care than just feeding so I never understand the argument that DH/SO can't help enough with baby just because mom is exclusively BFing. I know it's easy as a mom to just do it but really make yourself let dad have a turn if you have to b/c it is so important to the bonding.
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  3. #13
    Posting Addict Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Clarkton View Post
    ITA with trying to involve DH in the basic care and being careful not to judge about him not doing it right. Men will often take a hands off approach if they feel watched or judged like that. It's so important to involve daddy not just from the stand point of you not having to do all the work but it's also a big part of bonding with the child. Daddy will feel much more connected if he gets to or has to (whatever the case may be ) do some of the bathing, changing and just plain holding and soothing. There is so much more to baby care than just feeding so I never understand the argument that DH/SO can't help enough with baby just because mom is exclusively BFing. I know it's easy as a mom to just do it but really make yourself let dad have a turn if you have to b/c it is so important to the bonding.
    Totally agree. If you are exclusively BF'ing, that does limit a tiny bit of Dad's involvement. Like, DH really never got up in the middle of the night with T because I was nursing and didn't really feel like it was any easier or more convenient for me to pump while DH fed him pumped milk (although that is certainly an option.) Also, I have always preferred nursing to pumping anyway, so I would never intentionally opt for a pumping session over a nursing session if I was in the same house as the baby. So night times were pretty much exclusively my domain, but beyond feeding, your DH can do diapers, bathing, and general holding and cuddling and soothing. Some of the sweetest memories I have of DH from when T was a tiny baby was coming home from a run and seeing DH laying on the couch watching sports with T laying on his chest asleep. I've always thought that parenting can teach you a new way to love and appreciate your DH; seeing my DH be a daddy always melted my heart into a big pool of love.
    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

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  4. #14
    Prolific Poster Cherrychip's Avatar
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    When we were expecting DD, I always told DH that I was responsible for the top half (feeding) and he was responsible for the bottom half (diapering) on the baby, lol! He is very hands-on by nature so he was more than willing to help out. The only thing he refuses to do for some reason is baths, although I suppose he would do one if there was an emergency (DD getting sick on herself while I am at work or something).

  5. #15
    Posting Addict crazy j's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cherrychip View Post
    The only thing he refuses to do for some reason is baths, although I suppose he would do one if there was an emergency (DD getting sick on herself while I am at work or something).
    My husband wouldn't do baths for the longest time either! He's finally better about them, especially now that I'm so big and its getting hard for me to bend over to bathe DS.
    Joan
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    7lbs 7.7oz at birth / 7lbs 3oz at discharge
    7lbs 6oz at 2 weeks
    11lbs 3oz at 2 months
    13lbs 6oz at 4 months

  6. #16
    Posting Addict Alissa_Sal's Avatar
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    Joan, does Carson have any interest in showers? T is the same age, and I have gotten him to the point where he takes showers most of the time (that's what big boys do!) He can pretty much do his own shower, I just have to turn on the water for him and then supervise a little bit, and help him rinse his hair. But he's tall enough that I don't have to bend over to help rinse which is a major plus as it gets harder and harder to bend down. Just a thought in case your DH is ever not available at bath time, so you don't have to kill yourself getting down to help him.
    -Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)

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