Cry it Out

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eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440
Cry it Out

So I know I may get judged posting this but here it goes...

Sometimes Henry goes down for a nap very easily, I swaddle him, offer a pacifier and a little bit of fussing and he's out. But sometimes its not that easy. Sometimes he's rubbing his eyes and obviously tired and I try to put him down and he screams like crazy. I mean like crazy. So when that used to happen, I would put him in the carrier and try to wear him because it would calm him. Well not anymore, he just claws me, bangs his head against me and tries to escape by arching his back. So I have resorted to CIO. I know he is young. But I swaddle him, offer a paci or today actually left one arm out so he can suck his thumb (this is new as of a couple of days ago) and I apply gentle pressure on his feet (because they are usually flailing in his swaddle) and just let him cry.

I know he is young, but he's going to cry whether I'm holding him or not, so might as well save my back right? Sometimes he wakes up like 10 minutes later just fussing, but I don't go back in there and he usually stays asleep. I always said I would NEVER do CIO. But when you have a colicky crier and they cry for every diaper change, every time they are tired, every time they are hungry or overstimulated....crying just doesn't seem that bad anymore. However, as I type this and he is sleeping, I feel sort of guilty, like I'm a bad mom for not being able to calm my baby better. And the worse thing is advocates of CIO always say "it just takes a few times and then they know how to sleep." Umm, no. That is simply not true. He fights sleep a lot. Its so weird. Sometimes he just goes down and other times he just fights and fights it. He was awake for almost 4 hours straight yesterday. That is just not normal, he was horribly cranky. Then he passed out at 6:30pm, I thought he would take a nap, but nope, he slept til 2am. He missed his bath and everything.

Is anyone else doing any version of CIO right now? Am I doing something wrong here?

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

I don't do CIO exactly, but I totally ignore fussing all the time-with a toddler its impossible to always pick up Liliana the second she starts fussing and she has learned to self-sooth. I haven't done CIO with either baby when they were actually crying, however that is based on my two kids who were not colicky and would stop crying right away if I picked them up. If my baby cried endlessly and my efforts to calm them seemed to make no difference or even make them madder, I know I would end up letting them cry as well for my own sanity. And if you are putting pressure on his feet, it sounds like you are still in there with him, at least part of the time, yes? So its not like you are ignoring him or completely abandoning him to just cry. You are making sure his needs are met and he is as comfortable as possible and if he is just crying no matter what, I really don't think you are doing anything wrong at all. And you are not a bad mom at all, he will outgrow the colic eventually (I know that day can't come soon enough for you!)

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

"Cherrychip" wrote:

I don't do CIO exactly, but I totally ignore fussing all the time-with a toddler its impossible to always pick up Liliana the second she starts fussing and she has learned to self-sooth. I haven't done CIO with either baby when they were actually crying, however that is based on my two kids who were not colicky and would stop crying right away if I picked them up. If my baby cried endlessly and my efforts to calm them seemed to make no difference or even make them madder, I know I would end up letting them cry as well for my own sanity. And if you are putting pressure on his feet, it sounds like you are still in there with him, at least part of the time, yes? So its not like you are ignoring him or completely abandoning him to just cry. You are making sure his needs are met and he is as comfortable as possible and if he is just crying no matter what, I really don't think you are doing anything wrong at all. And you are not a bad mom at all, he will outgrow the colic eventually (I know that day can't come soon enough for you!)

I totally agree with this. (((Hugs))) mama, you are in a hard situation with a colicky little guy, but however hard it is I think you are a great and caring mom and I think you're doing fine. If he just gets more upset and fights with you when you pick him up, I would lay him back down too. This too shall pass. (((hugs)))

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

No one should say they're totally against CIO unless they've had a terrible sleeper. You know what's best for your little man and you're doing what you gotta do. I can't say I'd do any different if I were in your shoes. I hope he gets better. (((Hugs)))

AimeeS1911's picture
Joined: 02/01/12
Posts: 636

Your post in my opinion is what is wrong with society in general because for doing what you feel necessary you now feel like a bad momma but he is well taken care of and loved and there are some things that every one will do differently. I am not against CIO but just have not had to use it so I cannot offer you advice in that sense. Mi get a lot of grief in some venues for not breast feeding. In that way this board is much different than my DDs board where I was the only chosen one for formula and I always felt I was bad for it. Like others mentioned I don't think you are doing full fledged CIO and the reason he may not be "getting it" and stopping so fast could've the age.

Hugs and don't judge yourself! You are doing an amazing job with a baby that has high needs.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427
Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937

Elizabeth, sometimes when I put down Julie she fusses just a second and falls asleep. Others, even when she's been fed and changed and is rubbing her eyes...she screams. And I mean screams. So you're not alone. And I've had to let her cry sometimes because I'm just at a loss of what to do. Youre not a bad mom...anyone can see you love Henry. I hope he gets over whatever is the issue soon. ((((Hugs))))

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

Yeah I'd say if he cries when you hold him, then what's the point? I'm more CIO-friendly anyway as long as all of their needs are met. If you know he's tired, do what you gotta do!
And the more kids you have, the more you have to listen to a crying baby because you have others to tend to.

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440

Well my friend says I am not really letting him CIO if I stay in the room with him or if he is in a swing. LOL, I liked that. I don't leave him but I just don't hold, bounce or sway with him anymore because it seems to piss him off. It's almost like crying helps him wind down. I swear when I complain on here he ends up being an angel the next two days or so, because he has been going down for naps so easily the past couple of days. Although they are shorter than usual, but at least when he wakes, he is happy. So thanks for your support and listening to me.

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

"eliann" wrote:

Well my friend says I am not really letting him CIO if I stay in the room with him or if he is in a swing. LOL, I liked that. I don't leave him but I just don't hold, bounce or sway with him anymore because it seems to piss him off. It's almost like crying helps him wind down. I swear when I complain on here he ends up being an angel the next two days or so, because he has been going down for naps so easily the past couple of days. Although they are shorter than usual, but at least when he wakes, he is happy. So thanks for your support and listening to me.

Going down good for naps is a huge win. If he can put himself to sleep, then the naps will get longer on their own.

Joined: 03/10/09
Posts: 546

You do what you have to do. No matter what always remind yourself that you are doing your best with him. His needs are being met, he's just being a stubborn little guy. Hopefully things calm down and he realizes that crying this much is more exhausting.
I've never had to do CIO either, but I hope something works out for you soon.
Good job momma!