Dealing with a little fussbutt

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eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440
Dealing with a little fussbutt

Ladies. I am so exhausted. Henry just eats and cries. He is never happy. Since Saturday we haven't had one happy moment with the little guy. He isn't sleeping either. It sucks. I took him to the pedi today and she thinks it might be reflux or pyloric stenosis. He is on zantac now and I'm praying it gives him (and all of us) relief. He only gained 3oz. since last Friday and she thought that sounded a bit low. I'm also surprised, because I have been feeding him like every 1.5 hours just to stop the crying. He does spit up, but its not like projectile spit up, so I don't know what's up with him.

I'm only typing this because there is a miracle going on right now, he is sleeping in the carrier. I do wish I could put him down as my back is killing me, but I will not ruin this precious moment!

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

I'm so sorry, Elizabeth. It sounds like you could really use a break. Is that possible? Even just a few hours to go eat a meal in peace. My first LO was a handful and I know it seems like each day is 50 hours long, but I promise you, before you know it, you and Henry will be long past all of this and you'll be posting about him getting into trouble running around your house. In the meantime, just do whatever you can to get through each day.

Joined: 05/23/13
Posts: 20

Elizabeth, I'm sorry Henry is being such a booger. I know in the early weeks when I was crying all the time and so was she - it was a miracle when MIL came and got her for a few hours. I felt like a new woman! Is that possible for you?

sandraleigh's picture
Joined: 11/23/06
Posts: 2672

I'm so sorry Sad It is exhausting to have any newborn, much less a fussy-butt. I really hope you can get some help so you can have a break. Hopefully the Zantac works. Have you considered taking him to the chiro for an adjustment? My younger sister was MAJORLY grumpy as a newborn and my mom took her in to the chiro, it worked a miracle for them.

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440

We have been going to the chiro 3x per week until I got mastitis. But now that I'm better we will start going regularly again. Not sure it did anything for him though.

HOWEVER, he is taking zantac now and he is like a whole new baby. Well its either the zantac or my giving up dairy. But today he has slept so much and when he has been awake he has been pretty happy. We went to the park today, I went to the post office, we did tummy time and I got to eat lunch while he slept. I also took a nap when he did earlier. Thank the lord.

And thanks ladies for listening. I hope this continues and isn't a fluke.

MIL did come over yesterday but I felt that she was judging me and somewhat blaming me for his behavior. She 1) told me that he needs to cry it out, 2) told me that we need to put him in front of the tv, so he gets memorized by the lights, 3) tried for like an hour to shove a paci in his mouth with no real success. It was very frustrating and she didn't really seemed concerned that I was sick or anything. Hurt my feelings. Oh and she came by unannounced. I was sort of afraid to open the door because I wasn't expecting anyone.

I told her that I cannot let him cry it out, because he would just cry for hours. I told her that I let him cry for 15-20 minutes while I ate lunch and when I picked him up he had tears rolling down his face. She said "well he has never had tears when I have been here." What is that supposed to mean? I told her "yeah but I see him every hour of every day and when you are here, you are holding him so he is more content, but I can't hold him when I eat and take a shower." Maybe its my postpartum hormones, but I thought that comment was so effing rude. I also told her, that I really didn't want him watching tv until he was 2 years old, but I know I might give in before that, but I'm not going to sit my 3 week old in front of the tv. What kind of crazy person makes that recommendation?

And she thinks I'm spoiling him by feeding him so often. I keep telling her that breast fed babies eat every 2-3 hours OR on demand. Most of the time he goes about 1.5 hours and she thinks that's too much. She also said that I should be concerned that he poops too much. I said no that's a good thing. Again I told her breast fed babies digest food a lot faster and poop a lot more. She formula fed, so she doesn't know what she is talking about. Just frustrating that I have to listen to her. I knew this would happen, she is a bit overbearing at times. When DH got home yesterday and saw his mom there, he looked pissed. He wouldn't talk to her for like 10 minutes.

Finally, while MIL was there, Henry started screaming his head off and of course she didn't know what to do. It was his typical "can't get air into my lungs" scream. What did she do? She handed him off to me. Sort of made me feel good that he screams with her too. I can't let her have the satisfaction of thinking she can "fix" him and I'm a bad mom.

I'm probably being a bit dramatic here ladies. She's a nice person, but we are just very different people. She means well, but intervenes too much.

AimeeS1911's picture
Joined: 02/01/12
Posts: 636

It is so hard when people push their feelings or opinions on you. Sounds like you did a good job defending yourself and your parenting choices which is a huge step.

The tv thing randomly I was flipping on my guide and way up in high numbers there is an infant screen tv channel... And it just is like a screen with lights and music for babies haha.

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

I hope you get many more good days with him. You deserve it! Sorry about your MIL though. Hopefully, you can brush her off without her driving you too crazy.

OkieMommy04's picture
Joined: 07/03/10
Posts: 511

My first son had pyloric stenosis. He would projectile vomit all the time. His Dr suspected it but just kept switching formulas instead of doing an ultrasound. I switched drs and they immediately did the US and found it. We were admitted that night and he had surgery a couple hours later. If they suspect it you might ask them to do a US just to rule it out. My lil guy was so severely dehydrated and had lost 2lbs in 2 days. After his surgery he was like a completely different baby. Never spit up again. I sure hope you get a break soon! I'm sorry your dealing with so much. I hope lil man gets to feeling better as well!

Danifo's picture
Joined: 09/07/10
Posts: 1377

I just want to add that people forget what newborns are like. you might be able to let an older child cry it out or go long times without feeding but the first couple months are hard and people forget because it is such a short time in an adult's memory.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Hugs Elizabeth! It is sooooo hard to have a majorly fussy newborn. People really do forget, and some babies are definitely harder than others. Both of mine have been the "scream when I'm not nursing" type at first, and you do get judged for "holding them too much" and "nursing them too much." Seriously, after having two like that, and having people act like they just can't possibly understand why I nurse as often as I do or hold them as much as I do, my attitude towards people who act critical about it is basically "eff off."

Just know, this too shall pass. Both T and Reid were total fussbudgets when they were tiny. I cannot even tell you how cool and fun T is now, and how connected he and I are, maybe in some small part because we weathered those haaaaard early weeks/months together. Reid was also really really hard at first. He's not "perfect" now at two months, but he IS a heck of a lot easier than he was. At 3 weeks I felt like I was losing it. Now, at nine weeks, we are in a much better place. He sleeps from about 7:30 to 7 getting up 3x to nurse and then going right back down. I can take him out places and he might actually be good. Like, we went to T's gymnastics lesson today (45 minutes plus getting ready) and he was awake the whole time, but he just sat quietly on my lap and smiled at people. At three weeks I was nursing him the whole class if he was awake or else he would scream. My point is not to brag like look at my awesome baby while yours is still giving you a hard time, my point is to try and reassure you that this hard part is going to be over soon, and that six weeks from now you are probably going to have a baby that is a bit easier to handle. They say that the first six weeks are the hardest, and I have found that to be true for both of my sort of high needs babies. Hang in there!

ETA: I'm laughing about the idea of having a 3 week old baby watch TV. Can they even see far enough in front of their faces to watch TV (let alone have the attention span?) LOL Never heard of a baby that young watching TV... I can't imagine them even wanting to watch TV before about a year and a half old.

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

I would have probably went off if my mom was like that. She HINTED that I wasn't parenting right once and i yelled at her lol.
Things like that are just over the line and really push my buttons so I'm impressed htat you kept your cool but still told her like it was anyway.
Everyone has different parenting opinions/techniques etc. which is fine but when they try to push their own techniques on you as gospel or unwanted advice, that's when it gets annoying.

I really hope Henry does better, sounds like he is already doing better and yes, the first six weeks are the hardest - you'll be out of the woods soon!
((hugs))

AimeeS1911's picture
Joined: 02/01/12
Posts: 636

My FIL tried to parent last night with my older and hen I lost my temper he stopped talking to me and was a jerk. It annoys me so much

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

"AimeeS1911" wrote:

My FIL tried to parent last night with my older and hen I lost my temper he stopped talking to me and was a jerk. It annoys me so much

I have such little patience for this. My FIL is always hounding me to put socks on the kids or hats when we're outside or asking if I put sunscreen on them. Hey guy! I got this, thanks!

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440

Ha Joan about the socks/hats. Every time we visit dh's grandma she freaks out that he isn't wearing socks. Its in the 90's here already. She also wigs out that he gets the hiccups...I just keep saying "babies get the hiccups a lot" and she kind of gives me a snarky look.

Henry seems to be doing a bit better. We are learning what soothes him. Basically the vacuum and being worn nonstop. My back is killing me. I think that the zantac is working though. Although he is still spitting up a bunch. I've been weighing him at home too and he hasn't gained any weight, so I'm still concerned, because he eats all the time. And I know my supply is decent because I've been pumping to give him a bottle everyday (per his pedi's request to track his take in) and I pump about 3oz on the left and about 2-2.5oz on the right. He takes about 2.75 oz by bottle. His next appointment is Friday, we might just go ahead and get the sonogram done to rule out pyloric stenosis.