Formal Goodbye...

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Joined: 07/26/04
Posts: 1595
Formal Goodbye...

Hey girls. I wanted to give an update and say a formal goodbye to everyone on the board. Things have been incredibly rough the past 2 weeks. I do feel slightly better but I think I'm in a lot of denial still about what happened. I'm even having a hard time looking in the mirror and realizing I do not have my bump anymore. Sad I cry daily but it's gotten better. On Sat. we picked up our little girls remains. Sad She was cremated and we will be putting her with my mom. Hopefully my mom is holding her in her arms for me. Sad

I'm now lactating which makes this situation so much harder. It has calmed a bit but I am still leaking in the mornings. We have decided we will try again which is a big step for me because I didn't want to. It was mostly because of DD. She asked me if she was going to "get another chance to have a baby sister?" That broke my heart and realized that I at least owe it to her. I was told by my OB that I would def. need a cerclage put in at 12 weeks. However, I will be switching OB's because I feel that this should have been monitored earlier due to the preterm birth of my daughter. I will actually get a consultation with a high risk when the time comes to see what they say. I'm no where near ready to do IVF or get pregnant again so I don't know when I will be back on the forums.

SO with that being said, from the bottom of my heart I hope everyone has a great pregnancy and delivers the most beautiful healthy babies ever! Smile Thank you for all the kind words and the beautiful blinkies, which I will be updating soon. You girls are the greatest! Love you lots!!! :bighug:

Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937

Mari.. oh god it breaks my heart to read your post. I know you are struggling daily with everything that has happened. I am glad you decided to try again - I know that has to be a tough decision, but just know that going forward, you can be monitored for an incompetent cervix and not have to repeat this. ((((Mari)))) I know words don't do you justice, but please know you're in my thoughts and prayers everyday.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Love you Mari! I'm so sorry that this happened. Words cannot even express. But, I think that it's wonderful that you are going to try again when you're ready, and that you are putting a plan in place for next time. Please know that when you're ready, we will be rooting for you with all of our hearts. I hope that when you are ready and you come back to PO, you'll stop in and say hi so that I can start stalking you in earnest - I can't wait for that happy day when you write that you have a gorgeous healthy newborn keeping you awake all night every night. In the meantime, know that I'll be thinking about you and your family and wishing you the very best.


crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

I don't know what to say Mari. My heart breaks for you and your family. I can't imagine how hard this must be on your family and your DD. I'll be keeping an eye out for you to come back when you're ready. I think about you and your little angel daily.

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440

Marisol, I've been thinking about you so much these past couple of weeks. I'm so sorry that you and your family are having to go through this. I am positive your precious baby girl is with your mom now. I hope your family and friends are giving you unlimited hugs and taking good care of you!

I will also be stalking you when you decide to try again and rooting for you the whole way! Many many hugs, thoughts and prayers from my family to yours. And if you feel like it, please try to pop in and let us know how you are doing from time to time!

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

How very precious to put her with your mother. I know healing will take time, but I do hope you can come back some day and "visit" us and as Alissa said, show off a healthy baby keeping you up at night!
Thanks for saying goodbye to us, I hate that it has to be this way but I know it will help you heal if you aren't on the preg boards all the time. I wish you the best Mari!

ILoveMyMiniMe's picture
Joined: 12/11/03
Posts: 2333

Mari - we have had you in our thoughts and prayers constantly.. there are no words that will heal such a wound in any kind of time. Please know your PO family loves you and sees you as a woman with SOO much strength!! You are welcomed here at ANY time you feel comfortable and you're welcomed with open arms and heart!!

As with your precious little one now in the arms and care of someone obviously wonderful and dear to your heart, it's never goodbye to us here.. only a "see you after while!" Thoughts and blessings to you and your family as you heal!! :bigarmhug:

lmiller626's picture
Joined: 07/18/10
Posts: 206

You and your family will continue to be in my thoughts and prayers. Take care honey and I hope our paths will cross again one day! Take care of yourself. :bigarmhug:

Joined: 03/10/09
Posts: 546

Words cannot express, but please know we think about you daily and that I hope in time your heart can heal. Please come back when you are ready. (((HUGS)))

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

Mari, I think of you and your family daily and how hard this is for you to be going through-I wish there were words that could make it better. ((Hugs)) and I am glad to hear that you are planning to try again when you are ready. Please take good care of yourself and know that we are always here for you.

Lizbet22's picture
Joined: 04/01/09
Posts: 2859

You are constantly in my thoughts love.
Always here for you.

PookieB's picture
Joined: 09/05/07
Posts: 631

:lurk: Marisol I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. I wish you all the best in the future when you try again. T&P's to you and your family! :bigarmhugs: