I feel like I have finally turned into the raging hormonal pregnant lady that I have tried so hard to avoid...and I don't like it one bit. This is a major vent and I apologize in advance.
These last few days have been miserable for me. I know most of it is stemming from lack of sleep and general uncomfortablenss(is that even a word? ha!) and that is taking my patience level to almost none. But here lately, I feel like I just want to scream, then cry because I want to scream, and then scream again just for the fun of it oh and maybe just throw an adult temper tantrum and throw things too....hmmm!
The kids are driving me nuts, the hubby is driving me nuts, my house is driving me nuts and just life in general.
The 6 year old has been a PITA this last week. His attitude and general defiance has really shown. I know a lot of that is feeding off my mood because I just don't have the tolerance I normally do. Also think he acts like that before getting sick, so I feel like if thats the cause, just get sick already and be done with this crap and get back to normal. And I know he's being tired of being cooped up in the house with the cold weather so thats some of it too.
The 13 year old step son is a bigger PITA. Asking him to do anything without a reward for him is like the end of the world. The eye rolls, and attitude and disrespect are really getting to me. To the point where i just want to pack his damn bags, ship him off to his mothers(she lives in another state and really has no contact with him at all so not really an option) and tell him not to come back until he can be a respectful member of this family! Some of this I understand is age related but with my mood lately....head through the wall sounds amazing...not really but you get my drift.
Then there is the hubby...he is trying to quit smoking...again for like the 10th time since we've been together. And I've lost my pateince with that as all. I try to be supportive because I know he can do it...he has before. But the damn excuses he comes up with as to why he just won't stop just makes me want to scream. He is down to a pack every other day which is huge and a great step in the right direction. But I hate the way he smells, I hate the way the house smells when he walks back into the house from smoking. I hate the way the truck smells when he gets in from smoking outside of it. I hate the money we are spending on it, especially since we are both out of work from being laid off.
Then there is the house. I just want it clean! But...if I even get anywhere near any type of cleaning supply, the hubby freaks because he doesn't want me breathing it in. Sweet really and I love that he's looking out for baby and I, but then I feel like screaming...then you do it already! Been asking for the last two weeks at least to clean the ceiling fans--hasn't been done yet..but if I mentioned getting a chair and doing it myself he gets upset because he doesn't want me up on a chair..again..then do it! Like...now! He is going to school full time and is spending a lot of time looking for jobs and what not..but...then him and 13 year old play stupid video games. Theres more then enough time to play games for hours every day..but nothing else can get done! I sit there and think...they're playing video games..why the hell should I be the one doing the cleaning and stuff? I seriously want to take all the game systems out of this house and tell them neither one of them gets **** until other stuff is done. I'm so over this crap!
I want my energy back, I want to be able to sleep on my back because thats the only place I can seem to get comfy. And i just mainly want to feel like myself again. I want to not be pregnant because then I can tackle the house and take my frustrations out on cleaning it!
ARGH!!!!!! Hopefully some of this made sense. If you made it this far...your amazing!
i can totally relate.. I feel the same way only im on bedrest so im not suppose to be doing anything but i still am because i feel if i don't then nobodys gonna do it.. Hubby has snapped a couple times at me because things like your house need to be done i ask him to do it and he gives me the same attitude, so im like fine i might as well do it and hes like no your pregnant you don' t need to, and i have found myself telling him then "just do it" too..
I am sorry girl that you are dealing with all of this. I definitely know how you feel with the cleaning. I have an extreme bad case of ocd (obsessive compulsive disorder) And so I like things cleaned a certain way but seeing as how I can't get near the chemicals, i am having to let the hubby do it. And he does a good job but I like it done a certain way. I know I'm anal! lol but I definitely know how you are feeling with that and as for the raging hormonal pregnant lady, I also know how you feel. I feel like such a witch and a horrible wife because I know lately I have been freaking out and getting upset over the tiniest things. ( things that sometimes make no sense.) I really wish it would go away but I keep reminding myself that it isn't forever. lol But I do know how you are feeling with that as well. Not sure how to relate with the kids and hubby. I know it must be frustrating and stressful. Have your tried to sit down with your hubby and tell him how you are feeling? That is what I would do first. Maybe he will understand and can help out with the kids. I really hope things start getting better for you girl. Just keep in mind that you don't have much longer and then you will be blessed with your new little bundle of joy! I will keep you and your family in my prayers.
(((Hugs)))) I'm sorry that you are having a rough time right now. I definitely feel like this pregnancy has made me less patient than I normally am, so I can soooo sympathize about how every little thing can add up so quickly. And I so know what you mean about just wanting to say "Then you do it, like now!" My DH is helpful...but on his own schedule. It drives me up the wall to know that stuff needs done, and he's sitting there messing around on his iPad. (((Hugs))) Hope that things get a little easier for you this week.
Omg. It sounds like I wrote this post! Well, I don't have kids but my brother (who moved in December, thank god) has lived with me since he was 13. He's 20 now. You are SO right about a reward! I'd ask my brother to load the dishwasher - and I got "You gonna pay me?" What?? I don't get paid when I do it! Total PITA. I can understand about hubby too. I need a cleaning fairy. I've asked my two doggies to clean up for a week now and they don't seem to understand LMAO And my DH smokes too. I don't hate the smell, but when I'm in one of my throw-up moments and he lights up a cig, it just makes it worse.
And can I just say - I got DH to clean the ceiling fans the day before the baby shower because they were BAD. He wipes them off (which then of course, falls on the floor) and says he's done. Just leaves all the dust and crap all over the floor. Thanks honey!
Sorry you are going through a rough patch. I think we can all relate. Sorry the kiddos are giving you a hard time. And I totally understand the smoking thing. My DH also smokes...drives me nuts. He only does it socially like when he's out and drinking, but I still hate it. And he has no desire to quit, and doesn't see it as a problem, and he thinks I'm crazy for being so uptight about it.
I'm having THE hardest time at work. I freaking hate my job right now, everyday I want to scream and walk out and never come back. I would so be looking for another job right now if I weren't preggers. Today my boss tells me to change something major in this design that is due on Friday. I also have 2 other engineers working on it and they are going to flip their **** when I tell them they have to redesign in like 2 days. I tried to convince him not to change it, and told him I would have to basically pull ANOTHER all-nighter to get it done and he flipped out. He started slamming doors, throwing things violently into the trash can and then gave me the silent treatment. I straight up said "Are you ignoring me or something?" Ugh. I get like 10 min for lunch, so I guess I need to stop whining and get back to work.
Hope everyone has a better Tuesday!
Elizabeth - Ugh, sorry that you are having a hard time at work. I'm having a rough time too - $hit totally hit the fan last week over a system issue (basically a technical glitch) and it's not my fault but I am the face of the company to my clients, so I am the one that has had to deal with the client reaction and all of the fallout for this tech glitch. I keep thinking "I would rather go in to labor now than deal with this anymore." LOL!! That's not true, of course because I know Rocket needs to cook longer, but man I'm having a rough time. So I totally sympathize. I can't believe that your boss was acting like a such a baby though! Jeez louise, guy, grow up! LOL
Thanks ladies. Kinda feels nice to know i'm not alone in these feelings of mine.
Today got a little better. The hubs went grocery shopping with me(not that that is new because he always goes since he doesn't want me picking up and moving the water packs and pop), but we got that done. Also got 6 loads of laundry done that he helped with(help sort and carry all the baskets for me back and forth) and he also....GOT THE CEILING FANS CLEANED!!!!!!!! Took it a whole extra step then I was expecting...I mean took them all apart and scrubbed and cleaned them, then put them all back together. So now I feel a whole lot better. I have no idea why those fans were bugging me so much, but I feel like we got a ton accomplished today. So hopefully we can keep up this momentum going and get little stuff done each day, so when its baby time it won't take much to clean the house up for visitors. Phew!
Jill whoohoo for ceiling fan cleaning! Huge accomplishment.
Alissa, totally understand being the face of the company. That sucks that you have to tackle that when you can't control the tech glitch. I feel the same...my boss just plays designer and ignores all the engineering, code and cost related stuff. He often agrees to do things for free that or that aren't in our contract and then I'm the one that has to deal with the aftermath. Not fun. He sent me an email today of everyhting I need to finish before the baby comes, which is realistically like 6 months of work. I laughed at that one.