I need some advice from you ladies. First of all this story is going to seem a little farfetched but let me assure you it's real! LOL! I have the scars to prove it. Bare with me- it might get long.
Anyway, I have a 20 year old daughter and an almost 2 year old son. When my son was being born, my daughter was there during delivery. Everything was going great, well great for labor. I was at an almost 10 so my doc was trying to help me along a little bit. Well, out popped little man's cord and we lost his heart rate. Doc could not push cord back in, we were at a small town hospital where there is no anesthesiologist on staff (he has to be called in) and so I had to have an emergency c-section in my labor room. No anesthetic, no sterile room. My daughter, her fiancee, my mom were all there but rushed out to the hall. My husband had to hold me down so the doc could cut me and get the baby out. As it was my little guy was without oxygen for 3 minutes inside me and then it took them 3 minutes to resuscitate him. He had been "dead" for 6 minutes. Luckily, I passed out from the pain after the doc got the baby out; I vaguely remember hearing him cry, hearing my mom cry, and hearing an awful scream that I later learned was coming from me. Baby Boy (Sj for Shane Junior) was life flighted to a NICU an hour and half away. I didn't get to see him for a week because my own recovery was touch and go- severe chance of infection which thank God I didn't get and my bladder had been cut so I had to learn how to deal with a catheter for 6 weeks! After a week I got to go stay with him at his hospital and then we got to go home together a week later. He's perfectly fine. He had a stage one brain bleed but it healed itself and he's just such a miracle!
Anyway my problem is this- after witnessing that my daughter has begged me not to have any more babies. She has even gone so far as to say that she will never talk to me again. She and her fiancee cried in my kitchen about 2 months ago telling me that I can't imagine what it was like for them. She never wants to have children now and is paranoid that I will die if I have any more.
Weeeeeellllllll?. Ta Da- I?m knocked up. I don't want to tell her until we see a heartbeat- I've had 5 miscarriages in the past so I'm a little leery anyway but my morning sickness has kicked in and I'm afraid when she comes to visit she's going to figure it out.
My question is this- Should I tell her now? Should I try and wait until heartbeat is seen? How should I tell her? Any advice on alleviating her fears? Honestly, no one in my family is excited about this baby. My husband's side seems to be, but my family- not so much. It makes it hard for me to get excited because everyone is so scared for me.
Thanks for listening! I am just up in the air on what to do!