Neurotic? Yes, I think so!

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Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937
Neurotic? Yes, I think so!

So, every Wednesday, I google whatever week I'll be on Friday. Like, for instance, today I googled 27 weeks pregnant... just to see how the baby is changing/growing and what new aches/pains I can look forward too. After I visit a few websites - I then google 27 (or whatever week) week viability.
As far as I know, there's nothing wrong (knock on wood) but I just can't let myself relax about this pregnancy!

I'm going to go eat some chocolate now.

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2439

Same here. I actually think I'm more worried now then I was 10 weeks ago. And with what happened to Marisol, I've been even more nervous. I'm incredibly sad for her. The same thing happened to a friend of mine last year. But my friends remind me that you have to try to focus on the positive. Today I'm doing just that. Little boy is all over the place today. He's so active.

Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937

I've been doing it for awhile, but when Mari delivered - it's been an almost constant obsession to read about people as far along as me - and to read the baby is okay. I'm so sad for her too, I can't imagine how she must feel.

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

I've been suprised at how relaxed I am about everything. I think I worried a lot more with my first than I am with this one. Being able to feel her kicking so much helps. We spend three years waiting for her and I feel like she's already part of my family, so I guess I just assume she's coming and nothings going to stop that. Not sure if that's better or not.

OkieMommy04's picture
Joined: 07/03/10
Posts: 511

I think what your feeling is completely normal! Its part of a mommys job to worry about her babe. On my previous birth board we had 2 ladies give birth at 24 weeks, one lost her lil girl sadly.. The other now has a very beautiful and thriving set of twin girls.. It was very scary too see them both go through that. I would think at almost 27 weeks, if your baby were born she would have a long stay in the NICU but very good chance or surviving.

Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937

Joan, sometimes I feel like being ready for the bad is better because if it DOES happen, you're more ready for it and didn't get too happy about whatever... I'm not just talking about baby, just life in general. Sometimes I think you have to hope for the best because you can enjoy whatever is going on and if nothing bad happens, then you get to be happy the entire time.

I'm definitely a pessimist though. Definitely.

As a side note: my freshman year in college, I had to write a ten page paper on ....me. I was the only person in the class that got double points on the paper. He said it, more than any other, allowed him to view me as a person and an individual. I majored in Creative Writing after that LOL - but anyway, I wrote almost that same thing at the end of my paper. About hoping for the best, but expecting the worst. I dunno why I am bringing that up, just sparked a memory I guess...
Rambleramblerambleramble LOLOL

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

I've been checking Rocket's chances of survival on a weekly basis for several weeks too. I was actually doing it before what happened to Mari, but of course seeing Mari go through that only made it worse.

This is going to sound sooooo irrational, and I promise it's not usually like me to be superstitious like this at all. T is so much like me. He looks a LOT like me, much more so than DH. His personality is also a lot like mine. And, his life so far has kind of mirrored my life when I was a kid in some ways. Like, we both had really bad asthma when we were really small. I grew out of mine by the time I was in elementary school, and he seems to be doing the same. We both had to be hospitalized twice for pneumonia as a complication from our asthma. I was 4.5 when my little brother was born, and T will be around the same age (although closer to 5) when his little brother was born. Just, a lot of similarities.

Which brings me to my superstitious part - my brother was born 2 months premature. Which makes some small superstitious part of me scared that T's brother will be born 2 months premature. I know that makes NO sense, except that maybe having a brother that was born so early makes me more aware that it can happen? The good news is that my brother was born 2 months premature 25+ years ago and he is totally 100% fine, so that makes me think that with our better medical technology if any of us did have a baby born in the 7th month, he or she would have an even better chance of being okay. But some weirdo little part of me still worries about it. Dumb, I know.

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

Which brings me to my superstitious part - my brother was born 2 months premature. Which makes some small superstitious part of me scared that T's brother will be born 2 months premature. I know that makes NO sense, except that maybe having a brother that was born so early makes me more aware that it can happen? The good news is that my brother was born 2 months premature 25+ years ago and he is totally 100% fine, so that makes me think that with our better medical technology if any of us did have a baby born in the 7th month, he or she would have an even better chance of being okay. But some weirdo little part of me still worries about it. Dumb, I know.

Totally NOT dumb! That would be hard to write off for even the most rational thinker.

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2439

I think that's a fairly rational fear. But let's hope your little guy waits until his turn.

Speaking of babies coming early. I had a nightmare last night that my baby came somewhat early and I had to have a c-section. I think I was 32 weeks in my dream. I was really scared and DH wasn't there. He is never in my dreams when I dream about the baby. Hope that doesn't mean anything.

Anyways in real life I have an irrational fear of surgery. I had my wisdom teeth taken out when I was about 22, and they put me completely under. I remember them asking me questions and I couldn't answer because the anesthesia was getting to me, but I was definitely still awake when they started. It was painful and one of the most scariest memories I've ever had. This is one major reason I'm trying to avoid a c-section. Although my midwife has assured me they quadruple check that you are completely numb before surgery if I did have to have one due to a breach baby or another reason. And at least its just your lower body that is under anesthesia.

Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937

Alissa, my older brother was born 10, almost 11 weeks early. He makes stupid decisions, but not because he's not 100% fine, just 'cause he's... uh..dumb..? lol. My mom didn't know she was pregnant, she had weird cycles throughout her teen years, sometimes going months with no period. So, she thought this was the same. When she finally went to the doc (at 6 months pregnant), they gave her meds to start her period (which, should have ended the pregnancy or at the very least harmed the baby).. the ONLY reason she found out is because she went back to the doc for something else and her doc wasn't there, so she saw another one and they checked her for pregnancy. After she found out, she was only pregnant for 2 short months before she delivered. He's 37 today, actually, and doing just fine. So, not only was he a preemie, but she was given bad meds and I'm sure she didn't stop her wine at night, her smoking didn't stop or slow down and she never took a prenatal.

Elizabeth, I HATE dreams where I then sit there and wonder what it meant. That sounds horrible about your teeth.

Joined: 03/19/05
Posts: 338

I am right with you ladies on this one. I held my breath until 24weeks which is the earliest age for viability, now I can't wait until 28. I am having a hard time relaxing about this pregnancy, and my docs keep trying to freak me out with potentials for x or y. It seems like something else comes up each visit.

Elizabeth, a lot of folks have fear of anesthesia. Realize that a dental procedure with a dentist and assistant is way different than a surgery in the hospital with a specialist in anesthesia. I would suggest writing out your concerns and having it available to give to the anesthesiologist if needed (things may be rushed so having it written may help you remember your questions if the time comes).
I have had 2 surgeries this year on my knee and I had some very specific wishes for how I wanted my anesthesia to happen. I had a good experience both times. I definitely feel that communicating with the anesthesiologist is key.

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

I guess I'm pretty positive when it comes to this stuff. I know things do happen, but things can happen anytime - just think once the baby is born and worrying about SIDs and stuff... it really never ends. So for me, I just trust God that He has everything in his hands and whatever happens is meant to be... even if it's a really really hard thing that I don't understand.
I think as long as we're doing what WE can to keep baby safe then we HAVE to realize it's out of our hands to do anything more.

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

I was extremely worried when I was pregnant with DD1-it didn't help that I conceived her immediately following an early m/c, plus with my placenta location I couldn't feel her until really late in the pregnancy. So it is very normal to worry and I think especially with the first one. With this one, I have not really worried much at all-with having a toddler, I don't have time to dwell on it, nor do I have as much time to read about things going wrong on the internet. I did have a dream recently that I started bleeding and was losing the baby which was upsetting, but I got over it much faster than I would have the first time around. I think having been through one pregnancy already also makes me feel better, like I know I have done it before!

AimeeS1911's picture
Joined: 02/01/12
Posts: 636

Fear is totally rational and it means we care and have feelings. I was very nervous this time and still am to some degree but then I also believe everything happens for a reason. After my early miscarriage last year I felt I did something wrong and my doc told me my body was doing what was right. It really opened my eyes to see things differently.

With my first I had to have a csectio due to placenta Previn and I was a nervous wreck. I was scared from 20 weeks about early labor and getting to surgery fast enough because natural with that could be bad for baby and myself. Honestly it was a piece of cake (this from the person who screamed her way out of two oral surgeries in fear of going under). This time I am electing a csection due to an issue with my scar that can be fixed with another surgery and while I am still nervous I know it is not too horrible ( my experience was much better than some people I know who went natural)