Night Sleeping Help!

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tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743
Night Sleeping Help!

Hey girls, sorry I've been so MIA lately. I tend to post here in spurts.
We've been doing pretty good here. Judah is a relatively happy baby with bright eyes and an easy smile. He's still little (about 14lbs) but gaining and is content most of the time.

However we are having some major issues with sleeping. And please don't judge me when I say this but because DH approached me about it and we talked through it, we've been doing CIO.
Originally he was sleeping until about 4, I would feed him and he would sleep until 6-6:30 which is when I have to get up with my son anyway so it worked out fine. However, he would always wake up at least once between the time I put him to bed and when I fed him and I would have to get up and give him his paci.
Then it got worse. J was waking up every hour from about 1am - 3am and I would finally feed him at 3 but then he would be up again at 5 and then at 6:30. To me, at 5 months old he shouldn't be waking up more than once to eat at night, especially if he was waking up at 6 for the day. And it was so rough on my sleep and on DH's sleep because he would often hear me getting up out of bed and hear me being frustrated that I had to keep getting up over and over.
So last Monday after a really rough night we decided to try letting him CIO. DH let me go in to soothe him but he probably cried for ... a couple hours. Sad He ended up going to sleep though and then waking at about 4:30 to eat, then not until 7ish. The next night was a lot better and we had mostly good nights for the rest of the week.
Enter this week. For the past two nights he has woken up at about 2am and he cries and cries. My alarm goes off at 4am to feed him but the past two nights I haven't even remembered turning it off and then at about 5:30 I wake up and hear him crying (still?) and finally feed him, then he sleeps until 8 after that.
Also, coincidentally, he just changed his feeding schedule during the day from eating 7 times to eating 6 times. Clearly, he's hungry when he wakes up at night because soothing him doesn't work. Once DH went in and held him and he was just wide awake and rooting around. But shouldn't he be able to make up for it during the day if he doesn't get it at night? I let him eat as often as he wants during the day. Today I had to wake him up from his nap because it had been over four hours since he had eaten.

At this point, I really really hate letting him cry for hours and hours at night. It breaks me apart. But what is my alternative? It's been a LONG time since he ate more than once at night so he's not used to doing that at all but why does he keep waking up anyway?
:help1:

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

Awe ... I'm sorry! That sounds miserable. First, let me say, no judgements here on CIO. We absolutely HAD to do it with DS. It was bad. Here's my recommendation though. When we did CIO with DS, I would lay him to bed awake and let him fall asleep on his own, but if he woke, I would always go to him, feed him, then lay him down awake again. The most important part of CIO is teaching them to fall asleep on their own at first, not getting longer stretches. Once he's been going down well for a while, the long stretches will come. Then, after a few months, you can see if a pattern emerges and possibly work on cutting back on a session. Good luck mama!!

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

Well, he always goes down awake for his naps. And even at night sometimes he is awake although most of the time he falls asleep while he's nursing and fusses a bit when I lay him down so I give him the binky. I guess it's possible that he's not getting enough to eat before bed but I don't know how to change that - I don't let him nap after 6pm because I want him to sleep at night. Plus, he eats for 45 minutes to an hour right before bed and he usually eats for 20-30 minutes during the day so he has to be getting enough. And I make sure he is constantly sucking for that time.

Last night was a fluke, I'm sure, but I heard him wake up at 2:30, gave him his paci, heard him again at 3:15 briefly but he must have went back to sleep because he slept through his early feeding and didn't wake up until 8am! So now I'm all worried that he's not going to get enough to eat today. But I'm sure he needed the sleep. Who knows!

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

Who knows with these crazy babies, right?? lol. Hopefully he's eating a ton for you today so he keeps on sleeping through those night hours!

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440

I logged in today to post the exact same problem. Henry has sleeping terribly since he turned 3 months. But things suddenly have been worse the past 2 nights. Last night he went to bed at 8, woke at 10:30, 1, 2, 3, 4, 4:30 and 5 for good. I'm freaking exhausted. We have been doing CIO and it was working, but he wakes up now screaming and eats like he is starving, so I am feeding him in case its a growth spurt. Which I know he isn't 6 months yet, but I'm thinking Henry's growth spurts are all over the place. I even up'd his bottle feedings at daycare to 5oz every 2.5 hours. That's a lot!! He hasn't really gained a bunch in the last month, so I feel like he is catching up. Maybe Judah is doing the same. Let's hope so, this kind of sleep deprivation is for the birds. Cannot function at work today. I'm drinking caffeine right now, because lets be honest, is it really going to affect his sleep any worse?

Oh and I am the only one that gets up, DH sleeps thru all of this because he feels he can't do anything since he doesn't have boobs. He sleeps in until 7am most days. So this morning at 5am, I shook him and said, he has been eating all night, he can't possibly be hungry, so its your turn buddy. DH was pissed. Can you believe it? I wake him up one time to help and he said "This is annoying, it has to stop, he needs to grow up already." Ugh, how rude. At least I got 30 minutes of sleep this morning before getting up to get ready.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Hugs Ladies! No judgements here either. Do what you have to do; everyone needs their sleep, most of all the babies. Elizabeth, I swear we must be married to the same man because I can hear my DH saying the exact same thing. Men!

I don't have any good advice, but I do agree with Joan that I've heard that CIO is supposed to be for getting them to fall asleep on their own more than getting them to go longer stretches between feedings. If it were me, I would offer a feeding to see if he's really hungry. If he eats for real then I would guess that he is hungry for real, and just feed him. If he does that sleepy nibble thing where they aren't really eating they just want a boob in their mouth, then I might him back down and let him CIO if need be. I know that babies are supposed to go through a growth spurt around 6 months, and regardless, my personal thought is that his body doesn't really care if it is supposed to be able to go through the night without a feeding based on his age, he just knows that he's hungry.

I'm with you ladies on being exhausted. We just moved in with our ILs while we wait to be able to move in to our new house (10/13!) so we're all going through an adjustment of getting used to sleeping in a strange place. Reid went to bed fine last night around 7, but then he got up at 10. After that he basically marathon nursed/cried everytime I laid him down until 12:30, then I had to be up at 5. Growth spurt? Teething? Out of whack from being in a new place? I don't know. But I do know that I am beat.

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

Elizabeth, that sounds just like my DH as well! Except he doesn't seem to sleep through my getting up and coming back to bed because I usually stomp around mad that J keeps waking up.
Yeah, it could be a growth spurt I guess but if so it's been going on for a LONG time. And I think if I tried feeding him when he woke up Dh would be pretty mad at me. I might bring up the growth spurt issue and the difference between him comfort nursing and actually eating and see what he thinks.

AimeeS1911's picture
Joined: 02/01/12
Posts: 636

Well I was set to get Rylee sleeping through night and we thought we had it figured out with her eating but she is just not doing it. For awhile she was horrible taking bottles and I swore that was why. If she got 28-30oz a day I said she would sleep all night because it worked once or twice but then stopped. Now she has a cold and I say that's why but really I think some babies just can't make it too long of a stretch regardless of how much they have. Like yesterday she had 32oz and ate for last time at 10:45pm. She woke up at 5 starving and sucked back 5 oz. during the day she consistently goes 5-6 hrs with no bottle and I feed her even if she doesn't want it but then from like 3pm-9pm she can easily take 12-16 OSS and then still eat during the night. I know sleep deprivation is hard and not what any of us want but sadly I think until they are over a year it may just be what we go through

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

I think the 4-6 month range is just a hard one because there's not only a natural sleep regression around this time, but it's a biggie for major milestones which I can't imagine helps much. Not sure if this will help, but the weather is starting to turn, so some babies might be a bit cold, or perhaps you started putting them in a different type of pajama and its not what they're used to. You'd be suprised at what will mess up a baby's sleep! Good luck mamas!!

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

You know i thought of the pajama thing! I had been putting him in sleepers whereas before it was just a onesie and maybe some babylegs (both with a cotton swaddleme over top). I put him back in a onesie w/ babylegs the past two nights and he has been better!! Last night he got up at 4:20 and 7am which is very doable.

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

"tori729" wrote:

You know i thought of the pajama thing! I had been putting him in sleepers whereas before it was just a onesie and maybe some babylegs (both with a cotton swaddleme over top). I put him back in a onesie w/ babylegs the past two nights and he has been better!! Last night he got up at 4:20 and 7am which is very doable.

I wouldn't have thought about it, but I remember reading an article about a couple who's baby, all of the sudden, started waking a ton. When they put a camera in to watch him try to fall asleep, they found him pawing at his wrists, then getting upset. It turned out, the baby had gotten used to grabbing at the bottom of his long sleeved pajamas to fall asleep. It had gotten warm out and they switched him to short sleeves and it totally screwed him up! Weird!!

Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937

Erm.. I'm so late posting on this, but I wanted to give my 2 cents. Julie was swaddled until she started flipping, then she went into sleepy sacks. I try to get her "ready" for bed (bath, diaper change, into sleepy sack) before her bedtime bottle and sometimes it just doesn't work that way. If I lay her down without her sleep sack on - EVEN IF she's in footie pajamas or whatever - she wakes up. And up. And up. LOL I have to put her in the sleep sack for her to sleep.