Obsessed and Depressed

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Krazy Kai77775's picture
Joined: 01/29/13
Posts: 236
Obsessed and Depressed

I kind of feel stupid and ironic for posting this but it's really bothering me. Lately I have been constantly getting upset and depressed about my weight. I know I am pregnant and I am carrying another life inside of me. So with that it is normal to gain weight i would think. But I feel like I am gaining more weight than I should. My hubby says Im fine but I think he is just saying that to be nice. The doctor says I am fine and that they will tell me when they are worried. There is 2 pound difference between the scale at home and the one at the doctor office. The doctors have me at my first appointment (7weeks and 1 day) at 167 pounds. which would be 165 on our scale at home. But I know before I was pregnant I was starting at 163. So I don't' understand why they have me at 167 for my starting weight. But last Thursday I went to the doctor and I am at 188 pounds. I gained 4 pounds in the last two weeks. I feel quite ashamed. I'm almost at 30 pounds for total weight gain and I still have 9 weeks and 1 day to go. If I keep going the way I am then I don't know what to think. I mean I feel so confused because I eat healthy stuff. Every now and then ,ill have some cake but overall I eat pretty well and yes i eat candy a lot but not so much to where I'm gaining weight each week. I exercise at least 6 days a week for at least 30 minutes. This past week I only worked out 5 days for 30 minutes since my hubby was working over time. Sad

I know I probably shouldn't be obsessing about this so much but I have extreme OCD and weight issues. This has really been bothering me and I'm just really upset about it and I feel depressed and stress about this constantly. Sad

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440

Aww I'm sorry you are feeling sad. It's hard being pregnant. I think your perception of yourself is always way worse than it really is though. And seriously it sounds like you are on track. I think you are supposed to gain 35 lbs during pregnancy. My friend gained a lot at the beginning of her 3rd tri and then didn't gain any weight until 36 weeks. Maybe your baby just went through a giant growth spurt. Are you planning on breastfeeding? If so, that should help with postpartum weight loss. I'm sure you look fantastic! Trust your hubs!

I've been feeling down a lot too lately, its the hormones I'm sure. Hugs girl, you will get through it.

ILoveMyMiniMe's picture
Joined: 12/11/03
Posts: 2333

:bigarmhug: Awee mama! I'm sorry!! If it helps, I started at 150 (technically).. and just passed 190. :oops: They have said something to me about my weight and we're working on getting it under control..

You're doing a-ok!! If the dr's are concerned, they will tell you. Smile Sit back and relax.. enjoy these last couple of weeks! It will be a non-issue soon enough! Smile (

HUGE hugs! Smile

lmiller626's picture
Joined: 07/18/10
Posts: 206

I feel the same way and have since the beginning of the pregnancy when I started putting on weight. I feel like the fattest planet of a cow ever. I've always struggled with my weight and had body image issues anyway so being huge (even though baby is worth it) is really something that has made me feel horrible about myself. My DH keeps saying "babe, you're pregnant" and I know I'm pregnant but I feel so fat and gross. I hate it... actually, I like the belly when I have clothes on but when I'm changing clothes and my husband looks at me (he looks at me all in love looking) I feel like crying b/c I just want to hide how big I am now. He loves it but I feel about as sexy as a turd on the floor. Sorry for being so blunt but its how I feel. I get it completely. If you ever need someone to vent to/with then send me a message. Hang in there girl, we dont have too much longer!

Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937

Sexy as a turd on the floor? Um...gross. LOL

I have had self esteem issues always. I'm overweight, more overweight than any of you, I think. I have lost 17 lbs this pregnancy, but...still overweight. By quite a lot. However, DH this time around is not a complete a-hole like my ex and he tells me all the time how great I look. It helps that he's not "skinny" either. Don't worry about your weight gain with your pregnancy. You're pregnant lady, enjoy it! And - I've only lost weight because I throw up all the time. Pregnant people are SUPPOSED to gain weight! I'm sure you look fantastic!

I went on Zoloft a little over a week ago. It messes with my stomach (which sucks, because it's already messed up), but it's helped with the depression.

Joined: 03/19/05
Posts: 338

Hugs!

Your weight gain is right on track for your size. Keep eating healthy and working out!

Maybe this will help keep it in perspective:
at 30 weeks (approx. weights listed)
baby weighs 3lbs
amniotic fluid 2lbs
placenta 1.5lbs
uterus 1.5lbs
maternal blood volume increase 4lbs
maternal fluid volume increase 3lbs

so at least 15 lbs at this point are all baby and such. The rest is your body getting ready to breastfeed by laying down stores to nourish the baby. Most women will lose 10-20 lbs at delivery and then lose the weight from blood and fluid volume in the few weeks post partum.

The baby is gaining 1/2 pound or more each week. The placenta and uterus are also growing. There is a normal baby growth spurt around the 30 week mark (maybe this helps explain your increased gain for this appointment). Expect to gain at least 1lb per week until birth. Remember this is mostly baby's gain so don't let it depress you.

Hang in there! I am sure you are a beautiful pregnant woman.

AimeeS1911's picture
Joined: 02/01/12
Posts: 636

Nothing too different to add and my weight is up there from ivf hormones before and such but the stress is not good for you or baby. With my daughter I lost 22 lbs in the five days from having her so it goes away and you can focus on it then.

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

Just remember that the weight gain comes and goes in waves (I need to remember that myself!). It's totally normal to gain a lot one month and very little the next month. That being said, I've been kinda hard on myself for my tight pants too!

Krazy Kai77775's picture
Joined: 01/29/13
Posts: 236

Thank you guys so much! I'm trying to take all of your advice and just understand that the weight wont be forever. I just want to thank all of you for being so supportive and caring to me. I feel like even though I'm a newbie to this site that I have known you guys for years. I thank all of you so much for making me feel better and caring for me as a person. Smile

Cristancanoe- the statistics you showed me made me feel better. I was wondering where you got those numbers from.?

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

(((Hugs)))) lady. You got a lot of great responses. The only thing I wanted to add is that I feel like a lot of how much weight you gain is also semi-out of your control and probably genetic and/or hormonal. I honestly think that the best you can do is the best you can do, which it sounds like you are already doing. Try to eat healthy (but give yourself little treats too) and get some regular exercise, and then just try to trust that your body knows what it is doing. One of my good friends has gained like 50 lbs for each of her pregnancies. She eats healthy and exercises, and is very thin and fit to start with (and quickly got back to her pre-pregnancy weight both times) - that is just how her body handles pregnancy. On the other hand, I'm not as thin and fit as her most of the time, but I just don't seem to gain a lot of weight during my pregnancies (neither did my mom with her pregnancies, which makes me think it's partially genetic.) So, my opinion is that every woman's body handles pregnancy a little bit differently, and you may just be "programmed" to gain more weight, just like my friend. That doesn't mean that you can't or shouldn't try to be healthy, because of course you should, but it DOES mean that you shouldn't beat yourself up about whatever form your pregnant body takes. You're busy creating a human being in there! That is miraculous!!! Who cares what your body looks like right now, just look at what it can do! It can build a person. That is so much cooler than just looking sex-ay nekkid. SmileWink

Krazy Kai77775's picture
Joined: 01/29/13
Posts: 236

Thank you so much. I just have to keep telling myself to remember that but I guess it gets so hard because I obsess about it all the time. If I could avoid looking in a mirror, taking pictures of myself, and putting on clothes than I guess I could feel better. But it seems hard to avoid those three things. I mean my maternity clothes are starting not to fit. And that makes me feel even more horrible.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Oooh, I am right there with you. My maternity pants roll down because they aren't prepared to contain my gigantic belly, and my maternity shirts are starting to get too short. It does feel like a sad day when even your maternity clothes don't fit very well.

If it makes you feel any better, I am also now officially too big to sit in booths. I went out to eat with some coworkers today, and I could barely squeeze my gigantic body into the booth, so we had to move to a table. So freaking embarrassing!!!

Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937

Alissa, I'm short so - my boobs sit on top of the table and my belly slides underneath LOL Which is pretty good because if I had to bring my food all the way from my plate, over the belly and to my mouth without missing? PFFFT, I'd have a lot of dirty shirts.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Haha, I like the idea of tucking your belly neatly under the table. My belly does catch everything - every bit of spilled food or coffee or anything like that. I'm tallish so booth tops hit me just above the widest part of my ginormous stomach. *eye roll* I was all "Does this booth make me look fat?" LOL

Krazy Kai77775's picture
Joined: 01/29/13
Posts: 236

"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

Oooh, I am right there with you. My maternity pants roll down because they aren't prepared to contain my gigantic belly, and my maternity shirts are starting to get too short. It does feel like a sad day when even your maternity clothes don't fit very well.

If it makes you feel any better, I am also now officially too big to sit in booths. I went out to eat with some coworkers today, and I could barely squeeze my gigantic body into the booth, so we had to move to a table. So freaking embarrassing!!!

That's exactly what I am talking about. It annoys and depresses me. I still have 9 weeks to go so if i keep gaining weight like i am then i wont be able to fit in my maternity clothes. I'm actually wearing my hubby's sweatpants and t shirts to bed already. Sad

and as for the booths, i haven't really noticed but I guess I will soon. I hope to go eat some Mexican soon. I'll have to test the booths out.

Krazy Kai77775's picture
Joined: 01/29/13
Posts: 236

"Alissa_Sal" wrote:

Oooh, I am right there with you. My maternity pants roll down because they aren't prepared to contain my gigantic belly, and my maternity shirts are starting to get too short. It does feel like a sad day when even your maternity clothes don't fit very well.

If it makes you feel any better, I am also now officially too big to sit in booths. I went out to eat with some coworkers today, and I could barely squeeze my gigantic body into the booth, so we had to move to a table. So freaking embarrassing!!!

That's exactly what I am talking about. It annoys and depresses me. I still have 9 weeks to go so if i keep gaining weight like i am then i wont be able to fit in my maternity clothes. I'm actually wearing my hubby's sweatpants and t shirts to bed already. Sad

and as for the booths, i haven't really noticed but I guess I will soon. I hope to go eat some Mexican soon. I'll have to test the booths out.

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

I agree with Alissa; I really think it's somewhat genetic. Obviously you shouldn't just be eating junk and being a couch potato all the time but it sounds like you are doing the right things so really don't worry about it.
I have a friend as well who is probably like 115lbs normally and she gains about 40lbs for her pregnancies but she is back to her skinny self now - after four kids!
I tend to gain 20-25lbs but I stepped on the scale the other day and I'm already at 20lbs so I feel ya. And I also tend to keep 5lbs after each pregnancy so I am heavier starting out each time. Blech.
But really, you do drop a lot after you have baby and if you are active and eating well afterward, the pounds should drop right off!
Oh and I go through spurts too. I gained a ton over the holiday break but then I lost a couple pounds a few weeks later!
So since you really can't control your weight right now, don't worry about it until after baby comes and your body is working a little more normally.

Cherrychip's picture
Joined: 01/31/09
Posts: 1134

Your weight gain really does sound quite normal for pregnancy. I can relate to feeling huge, my maternity tops are starting to get close to not covering my belly-I've still got almost 10 weeks to go so I am nervous I will outgrow them. It sounds like you are doing everything right with the eating healthy-that is where I don't always do so well, I love sugary stuff and carbs so I tend to eat too much of them. And the weight does come back off after you have the baby, especially if you breastfeed, that really burns the calories. Just try not to stress yourself now about the weight and try not to get caught up on the numbers on the scale-easier said than done, I know, but just focus on the fact that you are growing an amazing healthy baby!

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

I am also not fitting into maternity clothes! I had to get rid of a pair of pants yesterday because they were so tight.

tori729's picture
Joined: 07/23/07
Posts: 1743

Yeah I'm eliminating shirts by the day. My belly just hangs out the bottom of them, ugg!