OT - Bad Day with DS

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Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427
OT - Bad Day with DS

Oh. Em. Gee. I just had the WORST time at T's Channukah party. Is that mean to say out loud? Oh well, I wouldn't ever say it to him, but I'm still going to say it here. LOL I do NOT know what T's deal was today. We had a good time in the beginning. The party was at his preschool, and I took some time off work so I could go. He was excited to see me, and we ate latkes and made a craft and he gave me a special handmade present which was very sweet. But then.

He was playing with some blocks, and I was just sitting back chatting with my MIL who also came, and then one of the other boys came up and tried to play with the same blocks (as in, wanting to help him build his thing he was building.) T hauled off and screamed "Noooooo" right in the kid's face. So of course, I'm like hells to the no, so I pull him out of the classroom out in the hall, and I'm telling him that we share and that yelling in someone's face is unacceptable, et cetera. So he starts BAWLING. Like, crying his eyes out. And, yes, I was "punishing him" (I was making him sit in time out) which I totally stand by, but from the way he was sobbing you would think that I had punched in the face and told him he was adopted or something. All of these parents and teachers kept walking by and asking if he was okay, and I'm mortified, like "yes, he's just in trouble for not sharing....I swear I don't beat or verbally abuse my child, this is just a huge over reaction....." BUT, even though he's in trouble and he knows it, he's still saying things like "I don't want him to play with those blocks, I was playing first, I didn't like it that he messed with my blocks" and I basically got to the point where I was straight up like "I don't care if you like it, you have to share. It's not optional." So finally, he stops crying and says he's ready to go back into class.

He doesn't usually react like that to "punishment" or for that matter to someone playing with the same stuff as him (he usually wants everybody to play with him) so no clue why he was suddenly freaking out.

So, we head back in the classroom, and the first thing he sees is that his tower got knocked down (because kids are still playing with all of the blocks. He totally goes to peices again. I'm standing there like "Buddy, you can rebuild it, or build something new, it's just blocks..." In the meantime, he is sobbing at the top of his lungs, people keep coming up to ask if everything is okay, all that. THEN, he kicks one of the blocks. And again, I'm like "Oh no no no, we do NOT kick things." So I made him pick up all of the blocks that were not in use, and in the mean time he is sobbing and yelling and totally freaking out, and I keep saying things like "unacceptable" and "we do NOT (kick things, yell, throw a fit)". Blah.

Finally, he got everything picked up, so I took him over to the reading corner, so we could talk and I could distract him by reading him a book and whatnot. We talked about why he was throwing a fit over blocks, and I talked to him about sharing and and not throwing hissy fits, and I felt like we finally got to a better place. We even went over and he apologized to the kid for screaming in his face. Then I read him a book, and he seemed much calmer. But then.

I had to go back to work, so he immediately starts sobbing and clinging to me again. This is also not normal behavior; normally he loves school and could not care less when I leave. Finally the teacher had to come over and pick him up and hold him while I said good bye.

He does NOT normally act like that. So now I'm totally drained, and how sick is this, some part of me feels bad for "ruining his Hannukah party." I totally didn't ruin it, he did! But I still feel that way, like if I could have some how handled things better, he wouldn't have spent half of his party crying his eyes out. I'm so freaking drained and am getting a pounding headache now.

Thanks for letting me vent.

Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937

Wow! I'm sorry that the party got ruined for BOTH of you. You don't think he was acting out because you and your MIL were there, right? I know my little brother used to act one way in front of everyone, but when I was around, he acted/reacted totally different. Or maybe he was just having a bad or wanted to show off.. I dunno, but either way ((((HUGS)))), sorry that didnt go well for you!

eliann's picture
Joined: 04/19/11
Posts: 2440

OH wow! LOL. Sorry its not funny, but the way you wrote it kind of was. Loved the "hells to the no."

Yikes well I hope he just had a bad day and it doesn't happen again anytime soon. Could be just that his routine was switched up and it threw him for a loop. Sorry girl. That stinks. Hopefully this evening will be more relaxing.

Joined: 07/26/04
Posts: 1595

Gosh do I feel your pain. He is probably acting up... :bighug: I hope he is behaving better this evening.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Thanks ladies. I feel better having gotten it off my chest. I just called my MIL because she picks him up and keeps him after school, and I asked if they said anything about the way he acted the rest of the day. They said he was okay, and that the only thing he said about why he threw a total fit is that he didn't like people messing with the blocks. :rollseyes: He'd better be good tonight; I am too tired for this nonsense! LOL

crazy j's picture
Joined: 10/08/07
Posts: 1162

Well, my DS is the same age is yours, so I'm familar with these bad days. It's really, really frustrating!! But it does happen. Sometimes I just have to step back and say, this is just a bad day and I just have to get through it. He's a pretty good kid, but all of the sudden, he'll have one day where he just melts down over everything or I'll get him from school and he's bawling over something ridiculous. Who knows with these kids!?!? Just remember, all the kids have these days!

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Thanks Joan! Yes, I think I tend to forget that's fairly normal behavior for his age because he's usually a pretty sweet and mellow little guy. We have rarely had full on crying jags or screaming fits like that, even when he was two or three and supposed to be going through the tantrum phase; so when it happens it always completely throws me for a loop.

He was perfect all night at home last night; he listened and did everything I asked, ate well, was sweet and affectionate to his father and I, went to bed without a fight....so at least he was being good again. Who knows what goes through the minds of little kids?? LOL