and BTW, MIL lives far away but always talks about how if we were closer, she'd be taking the kids for the weekend all the time. I'm glad I don't have to deal with the situation, because NO WAY IN HE/LL is she taking my itty baby for the weekend. I'd be heavily leaning on the food source arguement even though that's only half of it. The fact that she's a chain smoker is a BIG NO for me ... and really, does it make any sense for her to wake up and bottle feed her every 3 hours overnight or does it make more sense for me to latch her on and go back to sleep. HELLO!!?!!?!
DH is annoyed. We only see my dad once a month, so that's ok. We were doing Sunday lunch every other weekend with his family, but lately it has turned into every weekend, with certain birthdays/holidays/wedding events. DH keeps saying that we need to start skipping lunch and just stopping by for 30 minutes, because it eats up our weekends. But he never says anything to them, he just vents to me about it. He feels powerless when it comes to his mom and g'ma.
MIL and g'ma are just those types of women who can irritate you with doing things their way. I discovered this when I was planning my wedding and they had such strong opinions about it all. The only reason we didn't get married in a catholic church is because the week after we got engaged, we booked our venue. Otherwise, we would have had to fight them on it. When we told them we were getting married outside on the lake, they were shocked, appalled, but they got over it. But they had final say on my cake and we had discussions about my decor.
I was a lot more "protective" (for lack of a better word) with T when he was a baby, but mostly because he was so colicky and when he would cry I would think that I was the only one that could soothe him and that it was an imposition on other people (his grandparents or aunts or whoever) to have to hold him while he screamed. I'm a lot more relaxed with Reid; I actually kind of welcome the help to just sit and chat and not have to worry about the kiddos for a little while. Having said that, I am super crazy about his bedtime and naps because like Henry he is hard to get down, and I do not need overtiredness and getting out of routine to add to my troubles. I know my mom thinks that I am super high maintenance in that area because I will only come to have dinner at her house if she can promise that we can be out the door by no later than 6:45 because otherwise his sleep routine gets thrown off. I can almost hear her rolling her eyes over the phone when I'm like "can we please eat no later than six....?" LOL Oh well, I'm mom, so what I say goes.
I also would not pump just to please anyone else. I hate pumping. That's not even an option. Also, seriously, taking a baby Henry's age shopping for 4 hours is SUCH a bad idea. He's pretty much 100% guaranteed to get overtired and lose his **** in the mall. What is she thinking? LOL
So, honestly I think it's a combo. I understand why you don't necessarily want to let everyone else have Henry because I was the same way with T, but I also think that especially with having a colicky baby it is good if you can let other people give you a break for a little while. As long as his needs are being met (eating, napping) then maybe try letting go a little bit. Like Joan said, he is lucky to have so many people that love him and want to take care of him. On the other hand, you need to draw a line in the sand with things that are non-negotiable like eating and naps. Don't be nasty about it, but do be firm. You're the mom, and at the end of the day what you say goes.
I also did not let T spend the night with anyone until he was weaned at 14ish months. Actually though, when he does spend the night with his grandparents, it is BLISS. Even at 5 he still gets up at 7 every morning. I miss sleeping in soooo bad. I can't wait until they can take Reid AND T for the occassional over night so that I can sleep in again. *drools at the thought of all that sleep* But again, as far as I'm concerned that is not really an option until Reid is weaned.
-Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)
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