Well it's looking like I'm probably out for this cycle and maybe for good honestly. I just got my progesterone level back and it was only 11. The thing that really sucks is that yesterday I was SURE I was pregnant and was just trying to survive until it was time to test. I was so so sure and now it seems impossible. My level should have been over 15. When I got pregnant before it was 20. And last cycle it was 16. I just feel like I'm responding less and less to this medication each month and I'm not sure I want to try anymore. It's been a year and a half. I'm exhausted physically and emotionally. Emotionally more than anything. I was supposed to be due in November before the holidays and I lost that baby and all I can think now is how miserable the holidays are going to be while I'm not pregnant AGAIN. I thought for sure I'd be pregnant again before then and it'd be easier to deal with but it doesn't seem that way at all now. Out of mine and DH's family I'm the only one without kids. I'm a total outcast on both sides of the family and holidays are miserable enough because of that and now that I'll be without kids and the one who lost one and can't get pregnant again it'll just be that much worse. I just don't know if I can do this anymore. I feel like I relive the miscarriage every month I'm not pregnant and I'm not sure I'm willing to devote any more time to this when it kills me like this each time. We can't afford adoption yet so while that may be a future option it isn't now. Today is just a bad bad day. And I was so sure that I was pregnant yesterday before I got these stupid test results.