Well it's looking like I'm probably out for this cycle and maybe for good honestly. I just got my progesterone level back and it was only 11. The thing that really sucks is that yesterday I was SURE I was pregnant and was just trying to survive until it was time to test. I was so so sure and now it seems impossible. My level should have been over 15. When I got pregnant before it was 20. And last cycle it was 16. I just feel like I'm responding less and less to this medication each month and I'm not sure I want to try anymore. It's been a year and a half. I'm exhausted physically and emotionally. Emotionally more than anything. I was supposed to be due in November before the holidays and I lost that baby and all I can think now is how miserable the holidays are going to be while I'm not pregnant AGAIN. I thought for sure I'd be pregnant again before then and it'd be easier to deal with but it doesn't seem that way at all now. Out of mine and DH's family I'm the only one without kids. I'm a total outcast on both sides of the family and holidays are miserable enough because of that and now that I'll be without kids and the one who lost one and can't get pregnant again it'll just be that much worse. I just don't know if I can do this anymore. I feel like I relive the miscarriage every month I'm not pregnant and I'm not sure I'm willing to devote any more time to this when it kills me like this each time. We can't afford adoption yet so while that may be a future option it isn't now. Today is just a bad bad day. And I was so sure that I was pregnant yesterday before I got these stupid test results.
(((hugehugs))) I'm sorry you are feeling so down right now. I know it's hard when you just don't feel it's even possible to hope.
I've been around here a while and I've seen other ladies go through similar things. One lady in particular comes to mind now...she went through the progesterone testing to confirm O for a while and it was never what the doctors felt it should be. She finally quit "trying". She has 2 little ones now. She got pregnant on a cycle they weren't trying and she wasn't tracking and then had another surprise pregnancy I think about 5ish months PP with her first.
I just don't think you should give up hope yet. I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.
ETA: I didn't mean to imply that you would get pregnant if you quite trying so hard...that's just how it happened for the person I know here. I just want you to know that if it's not happening this cycle it certainly doesn't mean it won't ever happen. Hope I didn't offend you.
Leah, I am so sorry for how you are feeling ((hugs)) I will be praying for you!
Mom to Gabe 1.01
I am so sorry Leah Hugs for you. It took my friend 2 years after her third miscarriage to get pregnant. They had fertility drugs but that didn't help so they took a break and just had fun and is expecting in February. Things may happen for you soon. I may be out soon too. My body is playing tricks on me and I am due today. It started off as a tannish discharge like it was going to start and nothing n ow. I hate this TTC thing. Hoping for a miracle for you.
DH Paul 34
DD1 Victoria 6 July 2006
DD2 Sarah 2 Feb 2011
DS1 Theodore July 2013
Married Aug 3, 2002
I understand!! I totally do.
Each month can bring so much sadness.
I have felt that too... You need to take time to regroup.
A bit if down time.
My friend had a m/c way over a year ago. It took her over 3 months to get her cycle back and then after a year and a half she finally fell again.
She was loosing all hope. She's diabetic and has pcos and just thought it wasn't going to happen.
She could never tell when she I'd ir anything.
She's now about 15 weeks gone.
It will happen.
I'm so sorry that you're having such a hard time today. I don't know the specifics of testing for progesterone, so I can't speak to that, but I hope that if you do decide to keep trying, they are able to get you on a treatment plan that works for you.
I can totally understand about being too emotionally exhausted to continue with trying and trying. I already told DH that if we lose this one, that's it, I'm getting an IUD and we're moving past the child bearing part of our lives because I simply cannot stand to put myself through the grief and anxiety and feeling like there is something wrong with me ever again. Anyway, we are here for you if you ever need to talk to vent or yell at someone. You are not alone in feeling that way. Have you ever visited the TTCAL board? I highly recommend it. We have all been through losses and we know what it's like. Many many hugs to you.
Oh Leah!! I feel you pain! I'm so sorry! Right now at this point I can swear that I'm pregnant, I would bet money on it, but that damn progesterone plays tricks on you! I totally understand the meds not working. After all the meds I took I still didn't have the greatest embryos. It just plain sucks!! I'm debating if this doesn't work if I want to do it again. Maybe you should just take a break. Let me tell you the small break I took before this cycle helped a lot, I felt normal again and I loved it!
Ladies you're all so wonderful! I don't know what I would do without you all! To be able to vent this somewhere where I know people will care just makes it easier to deal with. I do feel a bit like an idiot though. The RE's office just called and said that my number was good. They just want it over 10. She said that over 10 shows that you had a healthy, quality O. I guess the reason a lot of them want it over 15 on medicated cycles is for more follicles but we know I only had one. I was so confused and I feel a little more validated now. I was trying so hard to keep how I felt a secret. My boobs are giant for me...not pregnancy giant but I'm only 9DPO. They're still pretty giant though. They're heavy, they're sore, and I have the same radiating like pain I had when I was pregnant. Other than that I don't know if I have any potential symptoms but my boobs are usually the tell all for me. I guess we'll just see what happens over the next few days. I just need to calm down. If I'm not pregnant this cycle we'll definitely reevaluate what's important to us and whether or not we need to take a break or not. Thanks again for all of the wonderful support.
Don't feel like an idiot...this all is such an emotional roller coaster. I'm glad they said it was a good number. Sounds like you have some promising symptoms. That could be making you more emotional too.