I apologize in advance for what I think is going to be a very lengthy post.
I was struggling at work today. I've gotten by with no heavy lifting - there's always someone around to do it for me. But bending over can't be avoided and it's a pain to bend over and get back up. I can't "squat" with my knees because I'll just fall over. Today was the first day I've felt like maybe I've let my job duties slip. I haven't done anything different! I just felt that way. I have two bosses in the store. One - I've known for YEARS. He's my boss, but we don't really have a boss/employee relationship. He told me that he was talking to my other boss and said we need to get someone trained ASAP (we did have someone trained and she married and is moving in 2 weeks....far far away) because he doesn't think I'm going to make it to April. The other boss agreed...and I'm training someone for the next two weeks. That'll take me to the 10th of March.
Now, back to today at work. I have to fill the bread at the end of my shift. There are eight loaves of bread in each tray - each loaf weighs a pound, so the whole thing together is maybe 10 pounds. I have a serious issue moving those bread trays. That's the one thing I refuse to ask for help with because I know both of my bosses will think of it as a cop out. But my belly is getting bigger and everytime I lift one of those trays, it's very uncomfortable. Plus, my vagina really hurts. Like, if I sit I'm okay. But when I get up, I have to stand there a few seconds and get adjusted and then those first few steps are extremely painful. It does go away in intensity fairly quick, but I'm up and down a LOT, so it's a lot of pain to me. Sleep has been eluding me. I sleep (for a nap) on the couch and I sleep wayyy better, BUT I think it's just because I'm so exhausted I just shut down. I don't sleep well overnight at all. I get maybe 2 hours, but it's not all together, it's in little spurts.
So, I talked with my boss (not the one I've known forever, the other one) about going out early. He said he kind of figured I might (which made me feel like $hit) and as long as we get through the next two weeks that we're okay. Obviously, that'd be when I'm done training my "replacement." I talked to DH and expressed my concerns about working up until my due date. I told him he doesn't really understand how much pain I'm in and how every little thing is no longer a little thing. Everything is getting hard to do and I don't want to leave my job with people going THANK GOD she left! She was doing so horrible! I want things to be good. FMLA leave requires your job to put you back in your current position and current pay if you're gone for 6 weeks or less. Anything more than 6 weeks, your pay is guaranteed, but I could be shipped anywhere and doing anything. My store is in the boonies. No one wants to come here, so it's not like I have people knocking at my door to get my position. But I'm a little worried if I leave with things going badly, that when I come back they'll move me. Especially if I go out early. PLUS, DH and I can't really afford me going out early on 60% pay. We're trying dearly to save up. We've kept our tax money refund and he's saved a little bit of his paycheck. But we haven't been saving except a couple of weeks, honestly. I'm concerned once my paycheck drops, we won't have enough money for bills.
I really don't know what to do. I know everyone is like, you'll want to save your time so you can spend time with the baby. I'm due in 6 weeks. If I work atleast another 2, that'll bring me to 4 weeks. I'm going to attempt to work another 2 after that. That'll bring me to the last week of March. I think I can live with myself going out that early without feeling too terrible bad. This pregnancy, aside from the morning sickness, has been relatively easy on me. It's just these past few weeks when my belly FLEW out and my down there started hurting that all these aches and pains dropped on me. I'm just so confused about what to do.