So I really just want DH and the doula at my birth. I don't even want anyone in the waiting rooms, is that terrible? I think I might get anxious feeling like I'm keeping them waiting or something. I will probably text my 2 best friends. And I'm not sure when I will want to see anyone after the baby is born. Because I know I will want to cuddle with my son and breastfeed and possibly sleep.
So have any of you thought about this? Or I'm I just over thinking it all? DH's parents are nice, but they tend to stress me out, so I'm just being extra cautious. Do I call them when I'm in labor and say "I'm in labor, but don't come to the hospital?" Haha.
It is a ill different for me because of it being a csection. With my daughter we had my in laws, one SIL and then my aunt and cousin were there. I don't have my parents anymore and was worried it would be hard for me. It took awhile for me to get a room with my daughter because there was a ton of births so my inlaws were worried something was wrong. I had no problems with visitors and stuff and pretty much had people there most of my five days. This time we are not sure because of my daughter and someone having to be with her. I figure my closest friends will come at night and DH won't stay with me as much because he will come home at. Isn't for my daughter.
We will prob announce it right away through a text like last time with a pic and her birth measurements.
My MIL asked if she could "be there" to which I assumed she meant in the room while I was having the baby. I kind of laughed her off and said sure. But then I told DH months later - I just want him in there. Possibly MY mom, but I don't think she'll be able to come right then because of her job and she lives 3 hours away.
I will have DH text everyone that needs to know that I'm in labor. But I don't expect a big turn out. A lot of my family lives hours away and my "friends" won't be there because I have crap friends.
This time around it's going to be just my DH and I in the room. With my son my mom was in there with us. But because we have DSS and DS, they will probably be with my mom until after the fact. Then again, it all depends on what time this all happens. I was really hoping for while the kids are in school, but i'm sure things will not go my way.
I'd have DH send out a mass text to all people you want to know that says something like..
"Dearest family and friends - we want to take a moment of your time to announce the birth of our son (name name name) who was born today at (time). Because we would like to take some time to bond with our new blessing, we're not seeing visitors until everyone is home and settled in. Thank you again for all your love and support - we look forward to introducing (name) to you in the upcoming weeks!"
Personally, I had a bunch of people come when DD was born and it didn't bother me because it was concentrated in evenings (everyone worked during the day) and left when visiting hours were over. I would be ok with that again.. but it depends on what DH wants. I'm game for whatever.
For DD1, my DH, mom and dad were in the room. I was kind of leery about my dad being there when they mentioned it ahead of time, but didn't want to hurt his feelings and when I was actually in labor, I could have cared less who was in there with me-I lost any sense of modesty, lol! My parents are 3 hours away and I don't have any friends close by here who would come to the hospital-the only visitors I expect are my parents and maybe some of my siblings, so I dont have to worry about unwanted people showing up.
I would say, its your birth so do what will make you comfortable-if you think it would make you nervous to have them in the waiting room, just tell them after the baby arrives, once you are feeling ready to have some company. However, I also think it is likely that once you are actually in labor, if they were in the waiting room, you won't be thinking about them at all-labor has a way of taking over your brain and you kind of don't notice stuff outside of your "zone". And whenever you do let them visit after baby arrives, you could have DH let them know ahead of time that you aren't up to a long visit as you need to catch up on rest.
We told no one I went into labour with my DS and because he was born around 3:30am we left it until a decent time to text people, then we live an hour and a half from everyone so we got that time. A friend who had a scheduled c-section actually only told her parents and MIL and FIl the scheduled date (actually she didn't tell anyone at all she had scheduled one) and then sent the mass text the next day after he was 24 hours old and requested no visitors until the day after. It can be done, especially if you have no child care to arrange for an older child
I just want DH in the room with me, which is how it was when T was born too. We told our parents last time because my mom had mentioned how hurt she would be if I didn't tell her until afterwards (DH's parents didn't tell anyone that DH was born until they got home from the hospital, which is what put that idea in my mom's head.) I called my dad when we left for the hospital, but told them not to come because it was midnight and I knew it would take hours. We also told DH's parents because we had to stop by their house on the way to the hospital and drop off our dogs.
My parents showed up at the hospital around 9 am and I was in a ton of pain, so I flat out told my mom that I couldn't talk.
Other than that, I was fine with visitors in the hospital after T was born. The only thing was that DH's parents stopped by with both sets of DH's grandparents the first night we were home from the hospital, and I didn't like that because I was exhausted and our house was kind of a mess.
This time, my parents are keeping T and the dog, so they will know as soon as we head for the hospital. I guess we'll probably tell DH's parents and our siblings once it is a decent hour of the day. My one rule is going to be NO you cannot bring anyone by the visit us at home for the first couple of days...let us get our bearings first so I don't feel like I have to play hostess right away.
-Alissa, mom to Tristan (5) and Reid (the baby!)
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Hi Elizabeth! I can't believe you are already 29 weeks!!!!
With DS we didn't tell anyone I was in labor and no one knew until after he was born. With DD the only one we told was the friends who were watching DS. I don't want anyone at the hospital until after baby arrives. I don't want them wondering why it's taking "too long" or me worrying what they are doing etc. Once baby arrives my hospital doesn't allow visitors until you go up to the PP rooms. The labor rooms are off limits for guests so you have that time in the labor/delivery rooms until you are transferred upstairs. I'd check your hospital policy to see if it's an easier decision - if they won't allow anyone in there then it's easy to tell family they are out of luck - hospital policy!
Ethan - June 21, 2009
Olivia - December 5, 2010
5w3d - October/November 2012
My Ovulation Chart
I only had DH & I in the delivery room both times and no one "waiting" at the hospital even though I've had two inductions. I totally understand what you mean about feeling like you have people waiting on you adding pressure to the situation. Before I had my 1st, my in-laws waited at the hospital ALL DAY for my SIL to have her baby so they were appreciative when DH told them he'd keep them updated via text on progress then call once baby was here. We've done this both times and it's worked out fine.