(yes, another) rant...

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Joined: 10/02/11
Posts: 1937
(yes, another) rant...

So.. my little brother is 20. I've had custody of him since he was 12. I guess I don't technically have custody anymore, but he still lives with me.. I got married around the time he turned 14. My husband was hateful and my brother didn't like him...and I grew to not like him as well. I got divorced and we moved. I (re)met Tim 2 1/2 years ago..we got married in May.

Okay, so.. Stevie (my bro) just said to me... you gonna give me some money? I told you I needed some last week and you still haven't given it to me. Well, I bristled at that. The way he came across really pissed me off. He works, but he blows his money. He does pay rent, but then is basically asking for it back (well, some of it) a few days later. So, I told him no. So he stood in the doorway...and started talking about "before" Tim we used to get along good and "before" I got pregnant I could be joked with.

TBH, Tim does stay on him. Stevie is lazy and does as little around the house as he possibly can. Tim tells him to do the dishes or whatever and Stevie thinks he should get paid. I don't. He's 20 and needs to help. He still thinks the world revolves around him and only him. He has no thought for other people. I can't believe he turned out this way. I'm not like that - at all. I didn't raise him to be selfish. But he works and he goes to school so I don't ask very much out of him. We moved in the beginning of July and I think he's been asked to clean something 3 times. He's normally gone anyway.

Point here is.. I'm a negative person. I don't think this pregnancy is going to work based on my previous losses. But that doesn't mean I want other people voicing that opinion. And for him to sit there and tell me that things used to be different before I got pregnant, I just wanted to smack the $hit out of him! Of course they were different! He's already told me that when a new baby comes he's going to be totally ignored. ..... he's TWENTY. And, he's my HALF BROTHER. We have different dads. How can he even be jealous of a new baby? He's hesitant to grow up. But I need him to grow up. I want him to assume responsibility. But he won't.

I can't believe he just sat there and yelled at me about me being pregnant..and wtf was I thinking...and it didn't work last time. I busted into tears and started yell/crying back at him. I guess he felt bad then, he said, "Jess, you'll have a baby someday..."

Thanks Stevie.

Sorry this is so long, but it really irked me. I've done so much for that boy...and this is how I get repaid. And the sad thing is.. I do love the boy, but... I just don't know how much of that I can take. :bigangry::angry9::cryinghard:

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Sorry, that sounds really rough. I think that 20 is plenty old enough to help out around the house and be responsible for your own bills and whatnot. I don't blame you for being frustrated.

emapperson's picture
Joined: 01/10/07
Posts: 36

I have a brother about the same age. He is acting the exact same way, but my brother only lived with me for about a year when he wanted to finish his senior year of H.S while my parents moved to another town. I think that 18-20 y/o boys think that they are invisible most of the time, not thinking about their consequences of what they say or act. It's like dealing with a 15 y/o girl on her period.Maybe its time for him to leave the nest?. Sorry your going threw this, I hope things get better. (HUGS)

Lizbet22's picture
Joined: 04/01/09
Posts: 2859

Wow!!!
It does sound like jealousy.
I am guessing he looks on you as his mum more than a sister and I hear a lot about siblings feeling jealous and worried.
If he is quite young mentally too... Then he'll speak before he thinks.

Kids behave like this... Not picking up after themselves and expecting your life to run around him.

Hopefully after seeing you so upset he'll rethink his attitude.

I am so sorry you are going through all that!!!
He needs to support you!!!
Xxxxx