Confused

[molette]

Well most of you know that dh said that we shouldnt try to have anymore kids and I wasnt sure I was done but lately I have come to accept that and was ok with not having more. I mean I was really ok with not having anymore. We have been making plans to go to Hawaii in 2009 with out the kids and I just have been thinking that I will have some me time next year when Hanna gos to Preschool and so on. Yesterday dh got home before me and when I came in we gave each other a usual kiss hello and a hug, during the hug dh says "lets have another baby". HUH? WTH? Where did that come from? I actually told him I dont know! Honestly I dont know! What do you all think?

[jaded812]

Ask him what brought on the change on heart. I think the two of you need to sit down and discuss it further. I know how much you were wanting another one Jackie but I think there comes a point where you find yourself content. And you seem to be happy with your two beautiful girls and are looking forward to your life ahead of you. JMO.

[mrscherrytree]

well, i always vote for more babies ;) GL and KUP

[molette]

I think we will have a talk. I do love our girls and at one time I really wanted at least one more but I really have thought about no more kids and while I am a bit sad at the thought I am also happy if that makes sense. My reasons for not wanting anymore are selfish in some ways and in others I have a huge fear of more mc's and I know how upset I become whne I have one and I get so down. I have 6 pregnancies with only two children....thats a big thing to think about. Also our trip would be put on hold indefinatly and that makes me very sad. I would also be pregnant at my step sons graduation...not sure how I feel about that either lol. UGH! To many thoughts to process, I just cant even get over dh spilling this on me. Last year I would have jumped at the chance but now....I just dont know.

[NorthernMamaof2]

Hey Jackie,
Think hard on this one. I wonder if your DH just had a "baby moment" like we do sometimes and then when it comes right down to it....he thinks better of it. When you REALLY start to think about everything that you have at this point in your life, with Hanna getting older, etc.... it's hard to go back to that baby stage again...diapers, teething, up at night, etc... and, it's EASY to forget some of that, too, so on one hand, you think "oh, sure! I could do that again, that wasn't that bad!" But, on the other hand you think, "Sheesh! Hanna's three years old, things are getting easier and easier, we can go places & do things that we've been wanting to do....etc.."

I know exactly how you feel, minus the m/c part. That's a worry. I can't say that I know how you feel, there...but I could totally see how you'd be worried about it.

Hang in there and do some heavy duty thinking and talking to DH. Sometimes they pop things out of their mouth and then we dwell on it and dwell on it when they didn't really mean anything by it in the first place!

:bighug:

[mandi04]

Oh man, that is a tough one. I agree, talk about it with him. You don't have to decide right at this moment (what am I saying :lol: I want nothing more than a decision one way or the other myself) Then again, everytime I think about just being done there is that little part of me that says I am not and then I think, when I'm old and grey sitting in a rocking chair on my front porch (sorry it's 11pm and I just had to add that :lol: ) would I regret not having more? would I regret having more?

[SabinaB]

When we were deciding between one or two there was part of me that just didn't feel done. I was afraid that if I didn't at least try to have a second I'd regret it, and I figured that I wouldn't regret the baby once he/she were here, so we went for it. There are some hectic days when I long for my life pre-kids, but overall I have to say I'm glad we went for two. After #2 I am absolutely positively done. I think unless you feel "absolutely positively done," you and your DH need to talk some more!

**hugs**

[Mia's Mama]

you could just do some baby making in Hawaii :)

[Lstacky]

Jackie - I agree with everyone else, sit down with DH and talk this through. DH and I talked about having 2 kids and that he'd be the one to get "fixed" whne we decided we were through. A plan was in place for him to do the "fixing" after we found out Connor was on the way but he kept putting it off. When I started talking about another baby in June, DH freaked out. He Made an appointment and got snipped. I wish now that I had sat down with him and talked it over before letting him go and do this. I just kinda went with it because it was the plan we talked about. I would have another baby in a flash and now I can't - all because I didn't have the balls to tell DH how I was really feeling. I guess it's for the best though - Our house isn't big enough and we don't have the $$$ for another child. At least thats what I keep telling myself.
Make sure you tell him how your really feeling - maybe make a plan to re-visit this subject later....maybe in Hawaii like Cheri suggested ;)

[molette]

Thanks everyone! I still havent had a chance to talk to dh. I still have no idea what I want. In all honesty I am not sure if we can afford number 5! We are still paying child support on Mike and Megan plus private school for Hailey....I seem to be coming up with more excuses I think.....BD'ing in Hawaii sounds wonderful lol!

[SarahSmiles]

Jackie ~ I know I'm late on this one...sorry! I know this is a toughie! I agree...you definitely need to talk and both express what you do or don't want and make a decision together...if you don't do that, one or both of you may regret it.

Hang in there and good luck!