Come out come out wherever you are!

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Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427
Come out come out wherever you are!

I was so excited to see that people actually posted on the other thread. This board has been dead for so long! I would love to get this board rolling again. So first things first, who all is here? Introduce yourselves.

For those of you that don't know me, my name is Alissa, and I'm 31. I've been married to my DH for 6 years, and we have a 3 year old named Tristan. Sometimes I'm more agnostic, depending on my mood, but most of the time I identify as an atheist. My DH is definitely an atheist - no agnosticism there. LOL My parents are pretty hard core evangelical Christians, and DH parents are devoutly Jewish, so we have a lot of religion coming at us. Our son currently attends pre-school at a Jewish school, but we are considering whether we are going to send him again next year because it has been more religious than we originally thought it would be.

Oh yeah, and I am one of the hosts of the General Debate Board.

So, who else is here? Biggrin

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Its nice to be able to chat about issues concerning my lack of spirituality somewhere. Its definitely one of those (if not the only) things you DO NOT bring up on a regular BB.

I'm Erin. I'll be 30 next month, gulp. DH and I have been married for 2 years, together for 7. Married by a lesbian on a beach in Mexico. His Born Again Dad loved that. We have a 1yo daughter named Teagan. We're a natural birthing, AP, extended-BFing, vegetarian family. In the circles I run in, couples with similar parenting styles come in two flavors; atheist or hardcore Christian. I was raised without religion and DH was raised by Christian commune hippies. He never bought into it and has identified as atheist for as long as he's been able to self-identify. We are both currently getting our PhDs in the hard sciences. DD also goes to a Jewish pre-school. Its like they have the lockdown on the good pre-schools, at least in our town ;). We're quite happy with the school but I've also had concerns about their curriculum as DD gets older. It's no big deal to me that they go into the Temple on Friday and sing songs with the Rabbi. Painting the sukkah yesterday sounded like lots of fun. As far as I know, they don't try to proselytize to the older kids. I'd say a good half of the students in the school aren't Jewish. We'll see. I'm going to be really bummed if we have to switch pre-schools because I REALLY love the one she's at.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Hi Erin, nice to "meet" you!

I am very torn about DS's preschools because I think it is a really good school, and there are a lot of positives to it. DH and I both work full time, so it would be next to impossible for us to get T to and from a partial day preschool program, but my MIL lives within walking distance of the preschool, so she takes him in the mornings and picks him up in the afternoons. Without that help from her (which I doubt we'd get if we went to a different school) T probably wouldn't be able to do preschool at all. And they have some really great programs - soccer on Wednesday afternoons, music and dance on Friday afternoons, gardening and composting in the preschool garden which the kids help out with, doing things like making apple sauce from scratch and eating it....all of that stuff is so cool and I'm so happy that he's doing it. On the other hand, I know that the religious talk is sinking in because he now talks about God constantly, and he's even gotten to the point now where he insists that we say a blessing before meals and what not. So, we're torn.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

If my DD were coming home insisting we say a blessing before we ate, I'd probably pull her out. But we also aren't in a tricky situation like you are. We have her where we do because its one of three NAEYC accredited schools in town and its the only place that would let DD go part time under age 1. We couldn't afford to send her full time at the infant rate. Once she's two the rate for a nearby secular school becomes doable. Problem is, we plan to have another wee one sometime in the next couple years and there's no way we could afford an infant and a toddler at the secular school and I'm not going to drive to two schools twice a day. Ugh. I just hope they don't lay on the God stuff too hard.

Joined: 08/18/07
Posts: 470

Hi girls, I haven't posted here in a REALLY long time, and Alyssa we were on BLC board together for a while, right? Anyway, I'm Charlene, 38 years old with two DDs, Sierra Diablo and Madison (4). I would consider myself agnostic mostly, but leaning towards atheist. I feel like my kids are to the age that I probably need to start explaining things, because the other day at the park, one of the school moms mentioned someone going to heaven after they dies and Sierra looked at me with this confused look, so I explained to the mom that we haven't talked about heaven because I don't really believe in it, and I think the mom was a little put off, but asked for another play date so I guess wasn't as offended as I'd thought (or maybe she thinks it's her job to convert me, LOL)...

Religious pre-schools are tough, I think until they're probably 4 years old, stuff goes over their head, but once they're 4 and 5, they absorb and believe EVERYTHING they're told so it's a hard decision!

Anyway, work is slow at the moment, and that's the only time I get on-line these days, so will be here as long as I can!

Charlene

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Yay Charlene! So good to see you!

I really struggle with what to tell my 3 year old at this point when he talks about God and Jesus (totally my mom's doing.) I always try to frame it in terms of "Some people believe that..." and leave it at that. Charlene, do you actually talk to your girls about not believing in God, or do you just not talk about God? That's the line that I can't figure out.

Joined: 08/18/07
Posts: 470

I haven't specifically said to her that I don't believe in God, but after the heaven thing she asked me what heaven is and I just said that some people believe after you die, your spirit goes up to Heaven and she did ask if I believed that and I said I didn't really believe it, but it's possible... That's about as far as we've gotten, other than telling her we're not religious and that's why we don't go to church like some other people we know...

Charlene

Joined: 08/24/05
Posts: 316

I'm still here Smile Life is just chaotic but I'm here!

I'm Danielle, I'm 25 and mama to 3 boys- Adam (9), Logan (5), and Xander (almost 2 :eek:). I've been an atheist for probably the last 10 years.......DH, Ed, is also 25 and also an atheist. We are hardcore science nerds and the belief in god just doesn't seem plausible.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

It's so nice to see all of you Heathens. LOL Any ideas for what we can do to make this board active again? There are lots of things that I would love to discuss with my fellow Heretics, but this board has been so slow that I have mainly kept to myself. What would you ladies like to see?

Joined: 08/18/07
Posts: 470

You know, for me, I'm trying to reduce time I'm on-line... I rarely am on at home other than to check e-mail, and if I get on here at work it's only if it's a slow day and if I remember, so there isn't anything specific that would bring me around more often, just how much my life and work gets in the way, LOL!

Charlene

pwbattist's picture
Joined: 02/04/11
Posts: 235
Hi

My name is Paula and I'm a new mom. My son was born October 16th. I'm agnostic and my husband is an atheist--no ifs and or buts about it. I appreciate the existence of this board, and look forward to discussing secular child rearing.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Hi Paula! Nice to meet you, and congrats on your son's birth. How is life as a new mom treating you? Smile

pwbattist's picture
Joined: 02/04/11
Posts: 235
Let's just say....

I'm not going to win the mother of the year contest! Smile I'm just taking it day by day. I'm just now back to the point where I can actually post messages to my bb. Last week, I actually put him in an outfit that matched. I was so proud of myself! Small Victories.

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Haha, a friend and I were just talking about what it was like to be a brand new mom, and all of the crazy stuff we did/thought at the time. I'm probably more neurotic than most but I:

Set my alarm to go off every 2 hours all night long for the first several nights because I knew he needed to eat at least every 2 hours. Turns out, he didn't need my help with that, (and in fact ate more like every hour) but I kept faithfully resetting my alarm anyway.

Wouldn't let my husband (or anyone else) even lightly bounce him on his knee because I was worried it would give him Shaken Baby Syndrome.

Slept with the baby monitor turned all the way up and literally under my ear. His room is literally right across the hall from ours and we always kept both doors open, so there is no way I wouldn't have heard him even without the baby monitor. But I kept that thing cranked to 11.

How about you? Doing anything that seems sane but might not be? Biggrin

pwbattist's picture
Joined: 02/04/11
Posts: 235
Well....

I definitely fed David every two hours for the first week. In fact, that first week was just a blur. I was physically and mentally exhausted. It didn't help that my milk didn't come in until 6 days after I gave birth.

I had and still have a morbid fear of SIDS. When David was about 4 weeks old, I walked past his crib where he was sleeping. I reached over to touch him and see if he was doing okay. When I touched his arm, it was ice cold and I totally freaked out! I was about to yank him up when I realized, "Wait. His arms are cold but the rest of his body is really warm." I had major egg on my face and I almost broke the cardinal rule of waking a baby. Silly me!:eek:

Alissa_Sal's picture
Joined: 06/29/06
Posts: 6427

Don't feel bad. My kid is 3.5 and I still check on him every night before I go to bed to make sure that he's still breathing. I don't know when that fear goes away.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Wait, its not normal to check if your child is still breathing at least once a night? Wink I've soooo done the "poke the baby" just to make sure she's still alive. Then I learned the "crouch down and spy if her back is moving up and down" trick.

pwbattist's picture
Joined: 02/04/11
Posts: 235
I know, right?

I am glad you will admit to doing the same thing. It's kind of funny. I spent nine months of pregnancy worrying about him because I couldn't see him or how he was growing. I told myself, "When he is out of the womb, I won't worry because I'll be able to see him." But I still worry...just as much if not more. :rolleyes:

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Just wait until he's mobile. They acquire stealth-like speed at exactly the moment you'd least expect. I consider myself to be a super laid back, let her eat dirt, learn that its OK to fall down type of Mom but I still do all the crazy stuff such as envisioning her lying unconscious on the floor if there is silence for more than 10 seconds. Though what I really should be worried about is the damage she's likely doing to something fragile in those 10 silent seconds.

abacaxi's picture
Joined: 02/27/10
Posts: 363

Is this board active now? Yay! (also, hi Erin!)

I'm an atheist and always have been, despite having been raised in a catholic family. I figured out the whole Santa Claus thing at a really young age and spent my early childhood waiting for someone to tell me the truth about god (truth as in: there isn't one, but we say there is because _____). I did join a church once in college, but that was because they were across the street from my dorm and in exchange for attending services every other week, I could park there for free (it was totally worth it, since the parking lot for campus residents was a mile away). I always find myself faintly surprised when I meet someone that I like and respect and then find out that they aren't also an atheist. Dh is an outspoken atheist and claims to have been raised in an atheist household, though he and his brother were recently shocked to discover that their father actually identifies as christian.

We have a 14.5 month old daughter and are hoping to try for another soon.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Hi Sara! I always assumed you were a heathen but I don't think it had ever been discussed. Wink I think it was all the "devil baby" references that gave you away. Glad to see you over here.

I don't know how to get this board hopping. The lack of a common spiritual belief isn't exactly the best thing for spawning discussion.

Perhaps I can complain about how my neighbor's baby Jesus is freaking my dogs out when we walk them?

Vstarr's picture
Joined: 04/08/08
Posts: 895

How did I not know this board was here before now?! Nice to see so many of my Oct/Nov 2010 girls here! :wavehello:

I'm Veronica, 32, and I have a 3yr old DD Lily and a 1yr old DS Lucas. I am a single mom right now and actually got divorced just a month after Lucas was born. It was something I had to do for me and my children, and I now have THE most wonderful boyfriend in the entire world and we will be celebrating our 6 mo anniversary in a few days :D. I find myself on either end of the agnostic/atheist spectrum just depending on what kind of mood I am in. Lately I've been finding myself leaning more and more towards the athiest side though. My bf & I have talked religion a little and he seems to be agnostic for the most part, which was a huge relief to me. I was sure I had found what seemed to be the perfect guy and just knew he was going to be a die-hard Christian or something! I was raised Catholic, but even at a very early age I remember always questioning it, and always getting in trouble for asking those questions! As soon as I moved out to go to college I stopped going to church and very rarely set foot back in one if I don't have to. For awhile I was into Wicca/Paganism, but that didn't really seem to fit either.

Luckily my family is pretty accepting of different beliefs - my grandmother on my dad's side doesn't seem to be religious at all, though I'm not sure where exactly her beliefs lie. One of my aunts on that side had some Pagan beliefs. My mom and her 7 siblings were raised Catholic, but now they range from being VERY strict Christians (not Catholic, but I have no idea what, you know, the kind that insist the Earth is 6,000 yrs old and that evolution is wrong :roll:) to an uncle who is now Jewish b/c of his wife and my cousin who just converted to Muslim for his fiancee. Right after I had my DD I did get a lot of comments from my parents urging me to take her to church, and for some reason my dad was on a mission for awhile to try and convince me to get her baptized. But I have insisted that religion is not a part of my life, nor will I make it a part of my childrens' lives, at least not right now, so they have backed off. I do think that when they are old enough I will try to make sure that my children are exposed to a variety of different religions, as well as my views on why I don't believe any of them. When they are old enough I trust that they will decide what is best for them. I just worry about the ages when they are young and very impressionable. I don't want them believing in a god b/c someone told them they have to. I want them to believe or not believe based on their own observations/experiences/knowledge when they are old enough to make that decision. Luckily my DD hasn't yet started asking questions or even mentioned anything religious to me yet, so I haven't had to deal with it. I do know it's coming though!

Terrapin's picture
Joined: 08/21/05
Posts: 713

Hello! I don't know if any of your remember me , but I pop in here every once in a while. It's true that a lack of belief isn't a great community builder, but sometimes it is great to be able to go somewhere to get away from the god talk every once in a while. Btw, I'm Lauren. I have a 2 and half year old named Isla and I pregnant with my second. I hope 'see' you ladies around more often!

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Hi Veronica! I'm so happy you've found someone who treats you like the very special person you are.

abacaxi's picture
Joined: 02/27/10
Posts: 363

"TiggersMommy" wrote:

Hi Sara! I always assumed you were a heathen but I don't think it had ever been discussed. Wink I think it was all the "devil baby" references that gave you away.

Devil baby? Never. She's a "screaming demon", or simply "the demon." As in "the demon awaketh . . . and lo, she hungers for boob."

kimlambert's picture
Joined: 05/18/09
Posts: 62

Hi, Ladies! My name is Kim and I have a 25 mo old. Never knew that there was a name for my beliefs (or lack of, depending on who you talk to)
I just find it hard to believe in something (someone) that no one has ever seen and somewhere that I cannot travel to. I never knew I felt this way until after having my son. My husband and his family are all God fearing people and his sister, who I absolutely adore, is always saying things like, "Thank the Lord" or handing me brochures on "proof" like she is trying to convert me OR maybe she's trying to convince herself since she always has these things so readily available in her car. (hhhmmm never thought of that)
PS Hi, Danielle!!

Joined: 08/24/05
Posts: 316

"kimlambert" wrote:

Hi, Ladies! My name is Kim and I have a 25 mo old. Never knew that there was a name for my beliefs (or lack of, depending on who you talk to)
I just find it hard to believe in something (someone) that no one has ever seen and somewhere that I cannot travel to. I never knew I felt this way until after having my son. My husband and his family are all God fearing people and his sister, who I absolutely adore, is always saying things like, "Thank the Lord" or handing me brochures on "proof" like she is trying to convert me OR maybe she's trying to convince herself since she always has these things so readily available in her car. (hhhmmm never thought of that)
PS Hi, Danielle!!

Hi Kim. Smile I didn't realize you were a fellow heathen.

Sorry for being gone for so long. I'll try harder to check in more often. Smile You guys are a lot more open minded then the other Atheist page I'm a part of. Some of them are very militant and just as pushy as the xtians I try to avoid!

Ghostorchid81's picture
Joined: 04/30/12
Posts: 82

Hi my name is Marcy, I have a 8 year old DD, 4 year old DS. Three step children ages 18,13,and 11. I am 31 my DH and are both Atheists. We are huge science nerds and like DBassett there is no room for god in science. I am currently studying to be a nurse. Hope this board gets up and busy I used to come here 4-5 years ago when I was preggo with my DS under a different screen name...I couldn't remember what it was...LOL