Thanks for the suggestions! The last couple days have been better. The praise suggestion was great! We've started "practicing" at home, and when he follows the directions, I praise him profusely. Unfortunately, we live in a tiny apartment, and there really isn't a good distracting place outside where we can practice...so that will take a little more work, I think. I'm amazed at the change I've seen in 2 days.
ETA: I decided on what I feel is a good consequence, too. He has to go in his pack and play and give the object to me 3 times nicely. I *hope* he associates the behavior with the consequence of going to the pack and play.
I know I'm late on this... I find that changing my language helps the most. My 22 month old daughter doesn't usually respond to "come back here." But she does respond to "stand still." KWIM?
Natalie examples. She's 9yo, has the vocabulary of a 12yo and the emotional/social skills of a 3yo...
Behavior: She spills the milk.
Consequence: She cleans it up.
Behavior: She won't do her homework.
Consequence: She can play after she does her HW.
Behavior: She throws a tantrum.
Consequence: She goes to her room until nine minutes after she's calm (9 minutes because she's 9).
Behavior: She grabs a toy from a child.
Consequence: She has to give it back *and* allow the child to play with one of her toys.
Behavior: She won't eat her vegetables.
Consequence: At the next meal, she gets to eat her non-vegetable food choices *after* she eats her vegetables.
Behavior: She's disrespectful to a teacher.
Consequence: She has to write an apology to the teacher with specific about how she is going to work to improve her behavior. When she was too young to write much, I'd spell out "I'm sorry" for her, and just have her write that and draw an apology picture.
Behavior: She gives me trouble getting up in the morning.
Consequence: She takes a "nap" when she gets home from school for the same number of minutes that she gave me trouble.
Behavior: She hits, or hurts anyone in anyway.
Consequence: This one is very serious for me, so I take away whatever is very important to her at the moment for 24 hours. And I state very very clearly to her: "There is no hitting or hurting in this family. No one ever hits or hurts you in this family and you are never to hit or hurt anyone." It is very very important to me that she understand that she is safe and that violence will never be tolerated from anyone or towards anyone in our family.