How's it going now? Hope things have been working out in the past few months since you posted this...
...I just wanted to share a date discovery that we made--movie and dinner (rather than the other way around.) We went to a matinee and then out to an earlybird dinner. Had a full, fun, relaxed date and still made it back in plenty of time for baby bedtime. And frankly, living with a bad sleeper, being home on the early side isn't such a bad bonus for the parents, either...everybody wins!
We're having some serious toddler sleeping-related parent connection issues. DH and I really need to make a better effort to re-connect. We've made the decision to take a stronger hand when it comes to getting Teagan to sleep in her own room. In our case, its absolutely required in order to improve our marriage. As soon as this icky cold I have goes away we're implementing the "send Daddy" technique. I can't emotionally handle what that will involve while I'm sick.
Our usual routine is this:
7:30ish - Nurse her to sleep in her bed (she's in a queen-size "toddler" bed)
10-11- If Teagan wakes up, I go in and nurse her back to sleep
11-3- If Teagan wakes up, DH goes to get her and brings her into our room where she nurses off and on
6-7:30ish- Up for the day
Our new routine will be this:
Nurse to sleep in her bed
If she wakes up before 11, I'll nurse her back down in her room
If she wakes up after 11, DH will bring her into our room and I'll go sleep in her room
DH would just go in and soothe her in her room but he has a bad back and can't lie on her bed. Hopefully, this routine will get it across to her that boobs are off limits at night. We've tried variations of this in the past and it usually involves a night or two of 5-10 minutes of an extremely angry toddler followed by 30-40 minutes of mild fussing. Its really really stressful for DH and I but I just don't see any other way to encourage her to sleep without nursing all night long. She might be angry but its not like we're leaving her to scream all alone, which I could never bring myself to do. At least she has her Daddy to soothe her.
DH is getting very frustrated with the lack of grownup time. Its so hard to put aside "us" time between both of us being in grad school and having a co-sleeping toddler who's only ever STTN once. I'm so exhausted by the end of the day that the last thing I want is somebody touching me and then I have to deal with Teagan wanting to nurse all night long. I'm seriously sleep deprived and I feel extremely guilty for not having any interest in DTD. DH is very understanding but he's still frustrated. He's been talking lately about Teagan being an only child. He clearly wants his wife back but I won't be satisfied with just one.
Teagan nurses to sleep every night but she has gone down when we've left her with one of our parents to have a date night (all 5 or so times since she was born). It's stunned us every time. She goes down so much easier for anyone but us. We're going to start going out for dinner during the week at least every other week. We've also gone out for lunch together a few times during the semester.
Erin, I really hope the "send Daddy" technique makes a positive difference. It took a long while for Aiden to turn into a sleeper (I'm sure you remember my BB posts whining about how I was never going to sleep again), but DH going in to Aiden's room to soothe him back down in the middle of the night worked so much better than me going in there. With a bit of patience, DH found ways to settle Aiden down that never worked for me. They spent a lot of hours rocking and reading books, but Aiden always calmed down and eventually fell asleep. Having a child that goes to bed before us and sleeps in his room has definitely helped our marriage. Many many !
Even now if Aiden wakes up in the middle of the night and I go in there, he wants to nurse. He'll sign it and fight his way to one. My husband goes in there? Yeah, Aiden is back asleep most of the time within 5 minutes. Frustrating, but hey it works (and that's the main why I hate my husband being gone ).
Well, the send Daddy plan is going to have to wait until Teagan and I both get over this icky cold. Poor thing was up every hour last night. She was getting so frustrated about not being able to breathe while nursing. I whipped out the nose frieda (which she hates) and proceeded to torture her for about 5 seconds. It pissed her off so much she puked on me a little. But, she was much happier about 30 seconds later when she could nurse again. As much as I want to have my space most days, I'm so happy to give Teagan my everything when she's feeling ill.
Poor thing! I hate when they're sick.
Awww... Both boys are getting over colds here too (they "shared" with Mommy unfortunately). I've found that ibuprofen really helps! It reduces the swelling and inflammation so they can breathe easier. Plus everything can drain easier instead of just sitting stagnant and breeding infection - isn't that a pretty picture Hope she feels better soon!!!
Erin, I also hope the "send Daddy" routine works for you. Sorry you're sick too.
Most of you know we're working on the night-weaning. I also mentioned it on my BB, and someone said to me, "Good luck with the sleep training." I wanted to jump through the computer. But then, call it what you will, we are trying to change how we sleep, and I know I'm doing it with as much love and respect for DD as I can.
Mara & Joel, 2009