Hitting and kicking a younger child... how to handle?

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Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368
Hitting and kicking a younger child... how to handle?

I recently started looking after my nephew a few days a week while my SIL goes to work (she's subbing, so, some it can be 4 days a week, or just one or none- not regular). My DD is obviously used to being home alone with me and having all my attention. My nephew is used to the same! He is 5.5 mos old, not yet mobile, and kind of high maintenance (my SIL tries really hard to keep him on a schedule, which means she spends what seems like hours bouncing him and walking him around and stuff, when I would just feed him or let him sleep, cause to me it seems he's either tired or hungry! I noticed these things in the two weeks that we lived with them.).

So, today, every time I put him down (like to pee) DD would go over to him and hit or kick him. She's pretty much totally fed up with him. I can understand her not appreciating him being around because it means she has to share me, but obviously, her way of showing it is NOT ok. I have no idea what to do though. She also takes away every toy I give him.

I totally caught myself this afternoon getting REALLY angry with her, and almost exploding at her, because it just pissed me off so badly that she was literally just laying down on the bed with her feet to him and kicking him in the head (while I was peeing- which I obviously tried to finish as fast as I could to rescue him!). I tried putting her in a time-out, but she was just getting up and running away. And, she just laughs when I hold her legs or something when she kicks him. I just don't know how to handle it.

I'm so glad now that we HAVEN'T gotten pregnant before now, because holy heck, I don't know what we would have done- her jealousy is out of control!

Anyone have any advice on how to proceed? I just feel totally clueless about how to handle this.

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

I can't believe how many people have looked at this post, and no one has commented!

cmljll's picture
Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 1409

I haven't commented because I don't have any advice Sad Ethan is pretty good most of the time with Gabriel, and he has issues that make dealing with him a bit different... I wish some of the more experienced AP mommies would chime in!

ETA I've noticed that all the posts on this board get a LOT of views but no one ever speaks up! Blum 3

Joined: 08/24/05
Posts: 316

I don't have any real advice other than what I do- and take it with a grain of salt because it hasn't helped yet!

Xander is jealous of absolutely everyone and will hit anyone that gets too close to me- his Daddy, both of his brothers, his baby cousin, you name it! He also hits when he's mad for non-jealousy reasons too. My 5 year old hits too which is where I think Xander learned this behavior in the first place. I tell Xander, "no, no, that hurts (insert persons name)" and "we don't hit, it's not nice". I'm hoping, at some point, the constant reminder that it hurts will get him to stop.

HTH!

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

Well thanks ladies. The last time I had to watch him I made a really big deal out if involving Beni and making her help me with him, as well as making sure that a few times an hour I gave her a hug or a cuddle or a squeeze. It was pretty exhausting, but she did better. I hope she gets used to it because my SIL accepted a real part time position, so she'll be working every Wed and Thurs, starting in two weeks. Also, with ababy on the way now, I really hope she grows out of it!!!!