I recognize a bunch of you from the BWing, BFing and CDing forums! For those of you I have not interacted with before, I'm Mel, I have two children 2 1/2 and 15 months. I WOTH three days a week and am a WAHM two days a week.
I feel like I want to be an AP parent, but am having such a hard time with parts of it that I'm just not sure if I do belong here or not. I've been lurking for awhile but finally decided to post. I'm totally on board with the BW, BF and CD stuff. I'm having three issues I need help with, So talk me through it please??
#1 My sleeping issue is with my daughter, 15 months. As an infant she either co-slept or was in our room in her pack n' play. When she reached 12 months we attempted to transition her to her own room. that actually went fairly well. About 4 weeks ago we tried moving her in with her brother into the same room. Ideally we'd like for them to be in the same room for a long time. I think there is a lot of good in children sharing bedrooms. Anyway, we still co-sleep for a couple hours a night when she wakes up between 11 and 1am. I'm just getting to the point where am feeling run down because I'm not getting enough sleep. I might be able to sleep longer if we co-slept longer, but DH is NOT on board. He's really wanting to try CIO when she wakes up at night. I'm looking for some sort of compromise between myself and DH - any advice? I'm not okay with CIO and he's not okay with co-sleeping all night. And what we are doing is not good for any of us.
#2 Second issue is that I'm having major problems with not listening, defiance, hitting, pushing and no's with my 2 1/2 year old son. I'm finding myself losing my patience too often, yelling and I've even spanked a couple times now. I HATE myself when I do these things. My son is what I would call "spirited". One of those kids who is into everything, no fear, extremely independent, almost what you would call "wild". He's a handful. My friends who have kids similar in age kind of look at Ethan and go "whoa!" I really don't have many "rules", no hitting, pushing and safety issues like staying away from the oven, not throwing water on the bathroom floor (slipping hazard) etc. We have created a mostly "yes" atmosphere in the house. Put away all the breakables, even moved some furniture out etc. I try to keep him engaged with art projects, reading, activities outside the home etc. He's a DREAM child when we go to other people's houses or out to the store. He's pretty great when he's at daycare as well. It's at home that he's trouble. Part of the problem is that it's winter here and we can't get out enough to play outside. I can't afford to do one of those gymnastics classes or something like that either. Anyway - how do you handle a spirited child when they are breaking rules that you are adamant about??
#3 Last thing that I'm having trouble with is because of #1 and #2. I'm stretched really thin. I feel like I'm always doing everything for my kids and husband and that I don't get enough sleep or time to myself. Yet, I'm feeling unappreciated and like I'm giving too much lately. At the same time both children are demanding more of ??? no idea what they need more of, but I feel like I'm doing everything wrong? How do you find balance with yourself? The only time I do have to myself is evenings 5 days a week. I work two evenings and during nap times for my work at home job.
I'm sorry this is such a novel! today was one of the worst days of my life. I felt like a total failure as a parent. Please help me to understand AP parenting better! I want to be a better parent for my children, I just don't know how!