I went to a playgroup this morning... one I've been going to for a while, but, the members have been changing, and today there were quite a few new faces.
Basically everyone talked the whole time about following Baby Wise or Ferberizing, only breastfeeding as long as the mom could take it (general consensus was that between 3 and 6 mos was admirable), and that the only way to get a child to really sleep well eventually is to let them CIO. Like, sooner or later, you're just going to have to do it.
I didn't keep my mouth shut completely, more so just shared my approach, without trying to make any one else's choices sound wrong or anything... every parent has to do what works for them, what feels right for them, and if it honestly feels right to leave your baby crying until he vomits (which many mentioned) then hey... you gotta do what you gotta do.
But, I just walked away from play group feeling pretty darn lonely. We live in Laos, so there aren't exactly loads of groups like this. There are two playgroups that I know of, and this is the only one I can attend because of scheduling.
I miss my LLL group from back home.
Wish this board were more active too!
Mara & Joel, 2009
The playgroup I attended when Aiden was small was party a mom's bible study. It really baffled my mind how we'd talk about how to be a good Christian mom and then 5 minutes later two of them was talking about sleeping training that was practically extinction. One of the babies was only 12 weeks! I kept telling them what is normal and how in a few months things will be better, but I don't think any of them believed me. Part of me was okay with the group ending because I was tired of being the only mom who was determined to keep BFing, who coslept, who baby wore every single day (one mom would BW but only at like say the grocery store and claimed her son was too big for the Ergo before a year), who didn't do any form of CIO, etc. I know what works for one family won't work for every family, but it's hard to make connections with others who parent completely differently.
Funny enough I moved last month to a different city and started attending Stroller Strides here. I've gotten some strange looks as I put DS on my back in a carrier after the workout is over and push the empty stroller to the car. It's just easier to me! lol. And when I BF after another class? Yeah, most mom had stopped by 6 months so I was a nut again. I'm a little afraid to approach sleep topics at this point.
I am so extremely grateful for my little AP bubble here in Tucson. It makes it easy to ignore that much of the world probably thinks I'm "weird". You ladies should move here! Or we can all just support each other in our little virtual AP bubble. (Though I'm very supportive of the idea of forming a PG.org commune somewhere in the Tucson mountains). It must be so hard to have no IRL support groups that are AP-minded. It would drive me absolutely insane to always have my choices belittled. Sticking to your guns makes you even more awesome mommies!
Erin, you (almost lol) make me want to move back to the desert again!
I found a forming BWing group near where I'm moving in March. I'm hoping where there are BWers there are APers. (Or at least people who don't think I'm off my rocker.)