Good, bad, and ugly. (copy and pasted email from Jill herself)

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Joined: 04/23/07
Posts: 624
Good, bad, and ugly. (copy and pasted email from Jill herself)

Hello Ladies! I apologize for not being on the boards lately, I am not able to load pg.org from these computers. Not sure why but it just keeps loading until it says internet is not responding. Well so heres whats been going on:

Good:

Isabella Imani (5lb, 10oz) and Anthony Jacob (5lb, 14oz) were born on 31 July - a week old today! And they are GORGEOUS!! Of course, I might be a little bias - but just a little LOL I am currently staying at the Fisher House here right across from the hospital. For those of you who arent familiar with it, its a house (common spaces shared) with anywhere from 8-16 rooms (with their own bathrooms) where military families who are experiencing a medical crisis of some sort can stay for free- if you live outside of 50 miles from the hospital.

Bad:

So they are in the NICU. Its one step forward, 2 steps back some days... overall, they are doing well - However, he still has a tube in his nose bc he was not eating very well... which is getting much better. She continues to have multiple episodes of apnea/tachy/bradycardia... so basically she just needs to breath right for 5 days and we can go home... not so simple... while they said its common in premature babies, really they just have to outgrow it in a sense. She has to be 5 days with no episode to be considered to go home. Well each day so far, we start back at day zero. Its a little frustrating. In addition, my 2 DD's (older ones) are preparing to start school next week and have other things going on so I am staying here myself. In some ways its good so I can focus on being there for as many of their feedings as I can which is every 3 hours (but heck by the time you finish them both, you might have time to pee and grab something to eat and its go time again) and just being there to bond with them. On the other hand, I get super sad bc I really miss my other 2 kids.

Ugly:

I'll try to keep this one short. Well the first ugly was the labor - my water broke a few min before 4pm and I was at the hospital by 6pm on Sunday - I did not give birth until Tuesday morning and even then, the twins are 5 hours and 1 min apart! In a nutshell, my water broke and they amde all sorts of attempts to induce me and get me to start having contractions but everything was slow going, nothing was progressing it seemed. I loved the doctor though - he was super encouraging and knew if I could avoid it, I did not want a c section and he said he felt confident that we could do it safely without so overall it went smooth. THE UGLIEST PART: Ever since DH came home, he wants nothing to do with me. A few days after being home, I kept bugging him to tell me if everything was ok and what was wrong and THRU a TEXT MSG, he told me he was having some adjustment issues. So I went downstairs to talk and he didnt want to talk he just said that he didnt feel right being home, he was scared - for the twins arrival plus he didnt know what he was going to do with his career - hes due to get out or transfer soon and they arent offering him anything in the area... well with us both being active duty, I am stuck here and cant follow him... so I did understand all that but then it just went from there... now he is confused and doesnt know what he wants and is not talking to me at all... and today is our 8 year anniversary Sad

Needless to say, this has been a rough week but I am taking it day by day - feeding by feeding and just trying to manage what I have here with the twins. I can get too wrapped up in everything else - bc if not I have melt downs ...and I have. So thats my story... thats why I havent been on the boards. I will try to get on once in a while through my phone but honestly that is kind of hard. I dont know why this computer here wont load our boards Sad Hope everyone is doing well and having healthy babies!!! Miss you all!!

~Jill (Military Mom)

Allie01979's picture
Joined: 10/10/07
Posts: 4706

I'm glad the twins seem to be doing better, I hope they continue to improve.

I'm so sorry about the issues with your DH. This is the time where he really needs to suck it up. I can't even imagine the adjustment period of being away so long and he's amazing for serving his country, but you need him right now and he needs to be there for you body and soul. :bighug: you're going through a lot mama, I'm so sorry it's been so rough Sad

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

:bigarmhug: I just cannot even imagine what you're going through right now. I wish I could give you a super big hug in person!!!

gardenbug's picture
Joined: 03/12/07
Posts: 2025

You are doing a great job bonding with your sweet babes. It is exhausting but so worthwhile!

Hospitals have social workers who can be such a GREAT HELP. Speak with them about hints for keeping things together with the addition of twins. Then if comfortable with it, speak about DH and his issues as well. Job changes can be huge for men. He shoulod be talking to the social workers too. Everyone will have to face the changes, not him alone. It is too big a burden for one person!

HorseMomma's picture
Joined: 06/29/04
Posts: 858

Jill,
I will be praying for you and those sweet babies. Stay strong. You are a wonderful mother. ((HUGS))

Joined: 11/17/06
Posts: 437

Jill - lots of thoughts and prayers your way. I am happy to hear those beautiful babies are getting stronger everyday. I am sorry to hear about your DH. I had an employee/friend go through a similar thing when her DH returned from his deployment. It's hard when you really need someone to help keep you strong the most and they are not there.

Just remember that even though we aren't physically there we are always here for you. *BIG HUGS* You are such a strong woman. Thanks for the update!

mrs. bear's picture
Joined: 12/21/06
Posts: 230

sending lots of thoughts and prayers your way! I pray that the twins can go home soon! I hope things get better with your DH, I'm sure its not easy not having his support right now but hopefully he will come around!

Joined: 07/09/11
Posts: 798

HUGS!

jaimelr's picture
Joined: 01/09/10
Posts: 217

Oh boy - that is a lot to deal with all at once. First - I hope the babies get to come home soon - happy and healthy.
As for DH - I don't have any close friends or family in the military but I really am in awe of the sacrifices that military families have to make. (Luckily you are also military so you know what he is going through). I feel for you both - he has just come home and has a big adjustment to make back into every day life AND now twins and it is all happening so fast. You, on the other hand, have been waiting patiently for him to come home and to share this big event with him and just when it seemed like everything was coming together in perfect timing and you were needing DH's help he has pulled away. Oh boy.
I was really surprised to see just how hard having a kid was on our marriage - I can only imagine how magnified that is when you add twins, health concerns, and the return from deployment factors.

Good luck. Keep us posted.

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