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Joined: 07/09/11
Posts: 798

Is anyone else feeling a bit self-conscious? I have had a few people tell me I am showing a lot for only being 12 weeks pregnant! I know everyone is different, obviously, and I know people who have shown more than me this early; but, it makes me feel VERY self-conscious and as though I am doing something wrong! When I should be embracing the little bump that I have, I find myself thinking about having to lose weight (since I have gained five pounds already) and wanting to avoid maternity clothes! I am already worried about gaining too much weight throughout the pregnancy because of some of the comments I have gotten...

Joined: 11/29/06
Posts: 1316

I get self conscious sometimes. I wonder if people know I"m pregnant or if they just think i'm getting fat (even though I'm down 10lbs from pre-preg weight). I wonder these things especially at work because I haven't told my office yet.

I do have a little bump too, but I wonder if people think it's "too soon" to have it. I didn't really show with DS until I was closer to 20 weeks, so while I know I should show sooner now because it's a 2nd pregnancy I do wonder if I'm showing too much for 12 weeks.

I think you look how look! If you are showing, FANTASTIC! embrace the bump! Don't let other people make you feel badly!! Smile

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

Yes, I always get self conscious early in pregnancy. As soon as I hit that point where the baby is just displacing my fat instead of showing baby bump. Maternity clothes don't look right and my regular clothes don't fit right, it's my least favorite part of pregnancy. But in a few weeks, it'll be better so I'm just being a hermit for now. Smile

I'm with Alison, embrace the bump, big or small, it's how you grow a baby and it's just perfect because it's you! Every woman I have ever known has grown babies way different. One of my best friends grows huge really early on but then barely grows at all as she gets towards the end. I have a short torso so I look like I'm growing a watermelon farm in there from the beginning and look like I must be miserable towards the end, what with all those 10lb watermelons in there, but it's just how I do it.

Joined: 01/03/12
Posts: 5

EXTREMELY! My stomach is gettin bigger up higher and I don't look pregnant, just like i'm gaining weight. i've actually been very emotional about it, but I talked to my sister the other day and she said she went through the exact same thing so i've been feeling better.

Joined: 07/09/11
Posts: 798

Phew! I am glad I am not the only one! It's just so discouraging when people actually have the nerve to comment about it!

Joined: 08/24/06
Posts: 140

I know what you mean, B-Baby. My MIL (whom I love and adore and is wonderful and even caught my last baby when he was being born) came to visit last week and says, "oh, look at you, you're showing alr-...." and then petered off awkwardly when she realized no, I was just bloated and fat and gross looking, not "showing". *sigh* I'm looking forward to a real baby bump instead of all this bloat and fat.

PianomanTran02's picture
Joined: 08/16/08
Posts: 401

Friends and family aren't bad for me....Well, MIL is but I can ignore most of what she says, it's all Chinese anyway. For me the worst are the guests that come into our hotel. Almost every single person who walks in asks when I'm due and look stunned when I say early August. Tonight I actually had one person say "You look ready to go any day!" When I said I'm 15 weeks she mentioned twins, I shot that down too and she then countered with "Well, everyone carries differently, just make sure you work so the weight doesn't stick." Still wanting to smack her for that one.

Joined: 11/17/06
Posts: 437

Don't worry about having already gained 5lbs! The rest of us will catch up with you, I promise. Some women lose weight in the first trimester, some gain weight. It really depends on the woman. I definitely understand being self conscious. I'm a bigger girl so I already feel like I look like I am 5 months along! lol. I'm definitely carrying this baby higher than I did with DS so my weight looks higher which is way awkward. I know soon it will all even out.

jaimelr's picture
Joined: 01/09/10
Posts: 217

Everyone knows I am pregnant so they are all looking for my bump and they are commenting that I am showing a lot already. (I have gained only 2lbs so far but my shape has definitely changed). I dont really care. This is baby #2 for me and I eat fairly carefully and know that I will lose the weight when all is said and done (I lost it all in weeks last time!). For me going back to work after maternity leave was the hardest - I gained 10 pounds in about 6 months due to decreased activity etc.
I really did try to just fully experience my pregnant boy last time (note I am no saying that I loved my pregnant body - but I was impressed by the job it was doing and tried to feed I and treat it well). Once I reached the point where I could no longer see my navel let alone anything south of my navel I made a commitment to myself to be nicer to myself and to not be hard on myself ever gain about weight. (my pre-preg shape was 5'7 and 170lbs at age 35). I can do something about it (diet and exercise) but I can't be mean to myself.
I once heard a neat comment that if we had friends that were as mean to us as we were to ourselves we would never continue being friends with that person. Interesting.
People are idiots. The people who are commenting (in my case) have a) never even had kids so they don't know what they are talkin about and/or b) had kids about 10 years earlier than I am and had pre-pregnancy weight of about 30lbs less than me.
So do I feel bad about being chubby and showing my displaced chin / baby weight? Hell no. This is my last pregnancy and I am going to embrace every moment since I will never experience it again.

jaimelr's picture
Joined: 01/09/10
Posts: 217

PS I am not discounting what any else is feeling. Hat is what is so great abou these forums - finding out how other people are feeling compared to you!

Without taking this post too off course this reminded me of an incident I had while on maternity leave with DS. I had two friends with kids the same age. One friend is not very athletic but is a trim 5'4 and the other was literally and international model and is tall and slender and beautiful. I suggested that we take the kids swimming a couple of different times and hey always skirted the issue until one day the told me they could not go swimming because they felt too fat. I was stunned. It will be a cold day in hell (or perhaps in about 10 years when I embarrass my kids simply because I live and breath) that I would not go swimming or similar simply because I was not in my peak form! I want these memories and I want my son to have these experiences (swimming) and I want to be the most confident role model I can be (even if I have to fake it). Life is for living (not for hiding behind a towel and denying yourself experiences. But I did not see things his way before I had a son. Now I do what I want to share these experiences with him and put my excitement around that ahead of any other feelings I might have which might detract from us sharing head memories.
Sorry - kind of a tangent I know. But I was really stunned that my two thin beautiful friends would not (and still have not) take their kids swimming over their own body image issues.

Joined: 01/09/12
Posts: 110

I was really self conscious last baby but this time, not so much. I was all belly last time and this time seems to be the same also. My mom keeps asking if there are two and thankfully there is only one! I am 12 weeks and probably look the same as I did at 4 months last time around. I don't mind though. I tried to hide it at work but everyone knew just from looking at me at 10 weeks!