As I am sitting here typing this I am just a wreck! I am ticked off and just fed up with everything and while its late and I am tired, I cant even stop crying long enough to catch my breath and go to sleep... I have been super irritable this whole pregnancy thus far and that hasnt helped with anything or anybody because I have had zero tolerance for anything! The two issues that came up tonight were - first, the nursery... well the extra bedroom is downstairs and no one wants to move downstairs. I told DD #1 that she had to and after she started complaining, my mom jumps in and says I will. Ok, case closed right? No. So she has been complaining ever since about that room is smaller and the bathroom is just outside, not inside and now she has to pay an extra $140 to have her internet and cable, etc re-routed... and so I said you know what - DD will move, you dont have to. Now she is bent up on I am moving bc I said dont worry about it. Issue #2 is my mom owes me money. Well its not borrowed money its stuff like she added some upgrade to the cable that was a one time fee of like $150 that I never even knew about or said yeah go ahead - and let me clarify, we pay the house cable but she has some kind of special package for the internet and whatnot in her room that she pays. So I find out when the bill comes in. Then she - which DH doesnt even know about- she is driving DH's car and side swipes the side view mirror - like over a month ago. Its going to cost (and only by hook up bc we know a Chevy mechanic) like $250 or so... she said she would pay for it Wed and it is Wed, so I asked her about it and she was like next week. Which I knew that was going to happen bc she is horrible with money and you can almost always guarantee she wont pay unless you completely nag her and then only in installments. Well how did this whole thing tonight turn into me being such a horrible person - she gets all emotional and says you know I dont make much money and I only have my disability check and I am sick and tired of you nagging me when I am doing the best I can... she is all about to cry. I was like WHAT?! Then DD#1 is upset bc I said dont anyone worry about moving downstairs, I would hate to inconvenience ANYONE IN THIS HOUSE!!! I mean, first of all the issue with the money, it isnt like I am asking her for money - she should never have upgraded my cable without my permission... she knows that I am stressed out about the twins and all the extra finances with daycare and having to buy a new car and all that goes with a baby. The car thing is another issue bc she tried to fix it all boot leg like in the first place. She wasnt even going to replace it. But this was why I was so stressed about getting stuff done around here myself. I hate asking for help when I feel like I am already doing everything myself and no one wants to be inconvenienced. If DH were here, I couldnt even let him know what was going on with the cable bill, I would have just sucked it up and paid so he didnt know bc he knows how my mom is and he doesnt bite his tongue so I am still always dealing with things myself. With the bedroom issue - I am like FOR REAL, so you want two newborns in the downstairs bedroom by the front door?! Ummmm WOW! I get so stressed out on day to day stuff just bc asking anybody to do anything is getting a big HUFF and complaints, etc. I just want to kick everyone out and live by myself!! THats how TICKED I am about it all... and yes I am flipping out a little bc I feel like everyone is so darn selfish in what they want and could careless about how it affects me bc I am just supposed to do it. In the beginning in fact my mom made a comment like it was my choice to get pregnant again so dont take it out on everyone else... so I feel like thats everyone's outlook, well this is your choice - deal with it. Yet, as long as I am working and bills are getting paid and everything its ok... ya know?! Ugh, ok sorry its so long but I needed to vent and I am just tired of feeling like no one gives a crap that I am tired and exhausted and that I work everyday and commute 70 miles one way and yet it only benefits them. I know I could handle it a little better bc I have really been flying off the handle but I just cant hold it in and I dont know how to deal with stupid crap. To me, its all common sense but apparently I am the only one in this house that sees that. And I guess I am mostly talking about my mom - DD is just being a teenager, to some degree but she is also unappreciative.
UPDATE: So I must have made my point and laid it on thick bc I came home today and my mom had enlisted the help of our neighbor and moved her whole bedroom downstairs and moved the old furniture into the garage - as I had planned to do (or have someone else do) this weekend! Maybe she's growing up haha