Super vent....emotional and all (LONG)- updated

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Military Mom's picture
Joined: 09/09/04
Posts: 369
Super vent....emotional and all (LONG)- updated

As I am sitting here typing this I am just a wreck! I am ticked off and just fed up with everything and while its late and I am tired, I cant even stop crying long enough to catch my breath and go to sleep... I have been super irritable this whole pregnancy thus far and that hasnt helped with anything or anybody because I have had zero tolerance for anything! The two issues that came up tonight were - first, the nursery... well the extra bedroom is downstairs and no one wants to move downstairs. I told DD #1 that she had to and after she started complaining, my mom jumps in and says I will. Ok, case closed right? No. So she has been complaining ever since about that room is smaller and the bathroom is just outside, not inside and now she has to pay an extra $140 to have her internet and cable, etc re-routed... and so I said you know what - DD will move, you dont have to. Now she is bent up on I am moving bc I said dont worry about it. Issue #2 is my mom owes me money. Well its not borrowed money its stuff like she added some upgrade to the cable that was a one time fee of like $150 that I never even knew about or said yeah go ahead - and let me clarify, we pay the house cable but she has some kind of special package for the internet and whatnot in her room that she pays. So I find out when the bill comes in. Then she - which DH doesnt even know about- she is driving DH's car and side swipes the side view mirror - like over a month ago. Its going to cost (and only by hook up bc we know a Chevy mechanic) like $250 or so... she said she would pay for it Wed and it is Wed, so I asked her about it and she was like next week. Which I knew that was going to happen bc she is horrible with money and you can almost always guarantee she wont pay unless you completely nag her and then only in installments. Well how did this whole thing tonight turn into me being such a horrible person - she gets all emotional and says you know I dont make much money and I only have my disability check and I am sick and tired of you nagging me when I am doing the best I can... she is all about to cry. I was like WHAT?! Then DD#1 is upset bc I said dont anyone worry about moving downstairs, I would hate to inconvenience ANYONE IN THIS HOUSE!!! I mean, first of all the issue with the money, it isnt like I am asking her for money - she should never have upgraded my cable without my permission... she knows that I am stressed out about the twins and all the extra finances with daycare and having to buy a new car and all that goes with a baby. The car thing is another issue bc she tried to fix it all boot leg like in the first place. She wasnt even going to replace it. But this was why I was so stressed about getting stuff done around here myself. I hate asking for help when I feel like I am already doing everything myself and no one wants to be inconvenienced. If DH were here, I couldnt even let him know what was going on with the cable bill, I would have just sucked it up and paid so he didnt know bc he knows how my mom is and he doesnt bite his tongue so I am still always dealing with things myself. With the bedroom issue - I am like FOR REAL, so you want two newborns in the downstairs bedroom by the front door?! Ummmm WOW! I get so stressed out on day to day stuff just bc asking anybody to do anything is getting a big HUFF and complaints, etc. I just want to kick everyone out and live by myself!! THats how TICKED I am about it all... and yes I am flipping out a little bc I feel like everyone is so darn selfish in what they want and could careless about how it affects me bc I am just supposed to do it. In the beginning in fact my mom made a comment like it was my choice to get pregnant again so dont take it out on everyone else... so I feel like thats everyone's outlook, well this is your choice - deal with it. Yet, as long as I am working and bills are getting paid and everything its ok... ya know?! Ugh, ok sorry its so long but I needed to vent and I am just tired of feeling like no one gives a crap that I am tired and exhausted and that I work everyday and commute 70 miles one way and yet it only benefits them. I know I could handle it a little better bc I have really been flying off the handle but I just cant hold it in and I dont know how to deal with stupid crap. To me, its all common sense but apparently I am the only one in this house that sees that. And I guess I am mostly talking about my mom - DD is just being a teenager, to some degree but she is also unappreciative.

UPDATE: So I must have made my point and laid it on thick bc I came home today and my mom had enlisted the help of our neighbor and moved her whole bedroom downstairs and moved the old furniture into the garage - as I had planned to do (or have someone else do) this weekend! Smile Maybe she's growing up haha

Allie01979's picture
Joined: 10/10/07
Posts: 4706

big huge massive HUGS!! My goodness you have your plate full. Kids will be kids, selfish little turd nuggets but that's how they are. It's your mother's attitude that totally appalls (sp?) me. She is living in your house and acting worse than the teenager. She sounds pretty irrisponsible and I'm so sorry that you have to be the mother figure in that relationship. You have every right to be angry and hurt. I hate the comeback of "well it was your choice to have another one" yes, yes it was, but you know what? it wasn't my choice to have to deal with your childish behaviour and do everything else on my own.

I hope you feel better after a good cry and I hope you get some apologies today mama. :bighug:

Joined: 11/29/06
Posts: 1316

oh man! I'm so sorry! That's too much stress for one person!

eff, if it was me, I'd move to the downstairs room with the babies! LOL! Forget all them. I'd rather be on my own floor than deal with their selfish butts!

I hope this all gets resolved soon. I know for most people it takes longer for them to realize that a baby (or in your case, babies) are on the way until they're actually born. I swear it didn't hit home with DH that we were having a baby until DS was actually in our arms. Maybe they're all the same way. For us Mom's its real sooner on because we get the constant kicks, heartburn, aches, and other reminders that a person(s) is on the way.
I hope people start to step up soon! arrr!!

Sweet Pea Twins's picture
Joined: 09/08/09
Posts: 922

:bighug:

Awe, girl! I'm so sorry that things - er, people - are difficult right now. I totally feel you on the mom thing... my mom is almost EXACTLY the same way. She doesn't live with me, but that's because DH or I would kill her before the 2nd week was through. However, she is at our house ALL THE TIME because she watches the girls for me in the mornings and gets them off to school. She is on my cell phone plan and I got the bill yesterday and somehow she must have downloaded something and it was an extra $10. Now, $10 isn't that much, but she does stuff like that all the time, and then when it's time to pay, she never has any "extra" to pitch in. She also gets all huffy when I ask her to do anything for me, or to drop the girls off somewhere for me, and complains that she never has enough money living off her disability check, even though I pay her cash each week for helping out with the girls, and she lives rent free with her best friend. *sigh*

Anyway, I'm not trying to make this about me, but wanted to you know that I totally understand. I hope that your teenager and your mom both shape up for you quickly! As for it being your choice that you are having these babies - yes it is! But it's also your choice to work support your daughter, and to allow your mom to live with you! Wink Next time, remind them of that! And remember, we're always here to vent to!

Joined: 01/09/12
Posts: 110

Oh my gosh!! I am so sorry girl!! You should not have to deal with that especially from your own Mom. I would move her anyway and tell her she has a deadline to pay the extra on the cable or you are cutting off her internet. That is completely rediculous! Sorry, not trying to down your mom but really that is terrible.

I hope you stay strong girl! I know you can. It is very hard being a full time working mom and being pregnant (trust me, I know). I hope you feel better.

Military Mom's picture
Joined: 09/09/04
Posts: 369

No I appreciate it and sometimes it is nice to know that someone else understands first hand... also I know the reality will hit once they are here but I feel like - and this is what I told my mom - God FORBID I was put on bedrest and they were left to get the stuff done, it wouldnt OR it would be extremely difficult bc my mom just cant handle all that. And for her I also help her out alot, bc of her disability she is my "dependent" and therefore gets all her expensive meds for free which is a huge load off for her, she pays no rent, buys no groceries - except for the occassional milk and bread while I am out - and even then wants a pat on the back... and her own desires like fave coffee creamers, etc - yet I still buy the coffee and everything else. AND she still has the nerve to go get her nails done!! I am not saying she does nothing to help but the stuff she does do she acts like I owe her my life now...I said until these babies are born, I have 2 children, not 3 and stop making things harder for me.

Anyway, thanks for the vent - I think she got the point as this morning she called me for something random but ended up saying I never said I didn't want to move downstairs (no you just complain about it, right?), she said I was just pointing some things out. Um ok, I know the difference, this has been a complaint since I found out I was pregnant pretty much. I still dont expect to get my money back for the car repair or the cable upgrade and that still ticks me off but what else can I do? Just keep creating more stress on myself? I know she is not going ot pay for it. And I cant kick her out, although I thought a few times it would better LOL But she does do alot in regards to child care and transportation and honestly I am going to need all the help I can get in the upcoming months especially. And I dont mind helping her but her priorities and ways of doing things are all jacked up in my mind! And it frustrates me bc she should know better yet she is completely oblivious (sp?) to it - and has this sense of entitlement and that ticks me off as well.

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

Glad you're feeling a bit better today about everything! So sorry you're dealing with so much!

Sweet Pea Twins's picture
Joined: 09/08/09
Posts: 922

Jill, I'm so glad that your mom stepped up to the plate and took care of everything yesterday! Biggrin

Joined: 11/29/06
Posts: 1316

"Military Mom" wrote:

UPDATE: So I must have made my point and laid it on thick bc I came home today and my mom had enlisted the help of our neighbor and moved her whole bedroom downstairs and moved the old furniture into the garage - as I had planned to do (or have someone else do) this weekend! Smile Maybe she's growing up haha

This is AMAZING news!!! Biggrin SO happy for you. And proud of your Mom for taking the initiative and stepping up!