Kind of having a bit of a down-and-out day... I was on the April board before and still check in often to see how the other ladies have been doing, seeing their tickers made me realize that I would have been 20 weeks today. I feel like I've put a lot of pressure on myself this cycle and have probably created a lot of unnecessary TTC related stresses because I feel so desperate to conceive again since my m/c in September.
Our timing was pretty good this cycle despite DH being inconveniently out of town, so I'm just hoping that the next week passes quickly so I can have a real answer instead of trying to compare how I feel now vs. how I felt when I got pregnant the first time.
As badly as I want to get pregnant ASAP, I'm also terrified that something will go wrong again. I hate to be such a downer, but I needed to vent! I'm hoping to check in here more and hopefully I'll get to stay and get to know you all better!
Hugs, and pity parties are fully allowed. I've been having one of my own for awhile. I haven't had a loss, but from what I've heard it can make it really scary the next time you get pregnant with all the what-ifs. All I can say is let yourself feel whatever you need to feel, but be kind to yourself. We're here for you.
Oh that has to be so hard to see those other ladies moving on... I can't imagine. I'm so sorry honey. You are totally allowed to pity yourself as much as you need. Just be sure to get help if you feel it's moving past healthy, normal grief into a real depression.
Good luck to you. And big hugs!
Big hugs Jessica! I hope you don't mind my posting, but I just wanted to say that you're in my thoughts and I hope you get a BFP really soon!
Vent all you need. We are here for you. I hope this is your month. Hugs.
11/2012, 12/2012, 2/2013
Jessica, I'm sorry you had a down day. I know how much of a roller coaster you have been on with this whole process. I have everything crossed for you that this cycle is a success with a healthy sticky little bean.
I'm right there with you. I had the EDD for my March loss earlier this month and the board for my August loss (march 2013) have all been finding out genders. Plus AF arrived so I have to start over with a new cycle. Sigh
Thanks everyone, it has just been one of those weeks. I'm grateful for pg.org and all of you, I don't have many people IRL that I feel comfortable talking to about this, especially the woe-is-me part. I do have a friend who had a m/c a couple of weeks after my D&C, but we had totally different experiences at different stages. While we're sharing a similar grief, I still feel like we're on different pages.
Right after the m/c, I kept making these 'goals', and it started out as hoping I'd get pregnant by the time my EDD would have been in April, but then that turned into Christmas which turned into right freakin' now. I feel like a jerk because I feel like we're racing to have the first grandchild/great-grandchild on both sides. By the end of January, there will be 4 of us on DH's side all TTC and the thought of someone else getting to announce their pregnancy first makes me panic!! How irrational is that!?
Im also getting really sick of people asking if I'm pregnant yet (we just got married in September), it's a jab every time someone asks.
So glad it's the weekend, I have to go into work for a couple of hours, but I can't wait to come back home and plant myself on the couch!