Thread: How early do you tell family?

I want to tell grandparents and aunts on Christmas in a cute way, but is 8 weeks a good time to tell? We waited 12 weeks last time and I am not sure the first time since my husband accidentally spilled the beans. We don't have a history of losses, but I will not be going to the doctor until after new years. I am a bit worried since I am 36 now, which is now advanced maternal age. Would you tell on Christmas or wait?

We're going to wait until I see an u/s at 8 or 9 weeks. We told immediately our first pregnancy (ended in a loss), so subsequently we've waited for a heartbeat.

If I get a BFP at the end of the week, we'll tell immediate family only on Christmas. If something were to happen I would need/want their support anyway so why not. Everyone else will wait till closer to 12 weeks.

We have only told my Mother so far. We will likely tell DH's parents and my father and sister at Christmas. I think 8 weeks is an ok time for you to tell...I completely agree with Carolyn B in that the people we tell early are people we would need support for if a loss occurred.

We've only told my mom as well. We arent sure what to do about the kids. We are not going to tell them for a while yet until we get past the stage where most losses happen. But we lost Noah at 13w6d last April and if that were to happen again (God Forbid Im praying it doesnt!) we would want the children to know about their brother/sister. And if we tell the kids they will inevitably tell everyone else in town. We will wait until atleast the time when most losses occur is passed which my MW says is 12 wks. I was showing pretty good when I lost Noah as well it was obvious I had a belly but I probably could have passed it off as just a pot belly I suppose. We wont make an announcement to the general public extended family until after the first tri for sure though..

Tiffany, you reminded me of another issue- telling my kids. Wow, so much to think about. My oldest worries about me going in the hospital. He has said he doesn't want a brother or sister because I would have to go to the hospital. He is scared of hospitals, not sure if it was because he had to stay in the special care nursery for a while or he has seen some tv that frightened him. That fear has been there for a couple of years at least. I have had 2 c-sections so there is no avoiding the hospital.

We'll be telling family soon (maybe this weekend). It's my mom's birthday and my sister and I both had losses this summer, so I'd love to give her some good news. I probably tell my siblings at Christmas (the hyperemesis should be kicking in, so there's no hiding it). We won't tell the kids for a while, though.

We waited till 14 weeks my last pregnancy. I think I will have to tell sooner since my babies will be 14 months apart and I will most likley show sooner

Originally Posted by Carolyn B

If I get a BFP at the end of the week, we'll tell immediate family only on Christmas. If something were to happen I would need/want their support anyway so why not. Everyone else will wait till closer to 12 weeks.

I totally agree!

Originally Posted by pico83

We'll be telling family soon (maybe this weekend). It's my mom's birthday and my sister and I both had losses this summer, so I'd love to give her some good news. I probably tell my siblings at Christmas (the hyperemesis should be kicking in, so there's no hiding it). We won't tell the kids for a while, though.

I don't like the hypermesis, but I totally identify with it, so I get what you are saying. I bet my family will guess pretty fast since we will be attending a party right off and I won't be drinking.

Originally Posted by SouthernMom

I want to tell grandparents and aunts on Christmas in a cute way, but is 8 weeks a good time to tell? We waited 12 weeks last time and I am not sure the first time since my husband accidentally spilled the beans. We don't have a history of losses, but I will not be going to the doctor until after new years. I am a bit worried since I am 36 now, which is now advanced maternal age. Would you tell on Christmas or wait?

I'm so glad you posted this. I was thinking about posting this very question this weekend, but I fell asleep at the computer before I could write it! ;P

We have always told immediate family (my parents and DH's brothers) around 6 weeks. This time we are waiting until Christmas. I think we are going to let DS spill it for us. I think it will be kind of funny and cute. He really wants a baby sister for Christmas (with a little prompting) and we are going to prep him to tell my mom what he wants for Christmas. When he says a baby sister, it will be priceless.

hehe, well, I couldn't help it, we told pretty much all of our immediate family (parents & siblings) the day and day after we got our BFP... we've been TTC for almost 5 years and they all knew. Even tho I have been a little worried about the possibility of MC, we decided we definitely didn't want to just tell all of our family the bad news without giving them a little good news first... our grandparents all know and we've told a few close friends - the more prayers, the better.

We'll probably make a mass announcement over our Christmas break or right after, when I'm a little farther along and have our first real appt scheduled with our midwife.