How early do you tell family?

14 posts / 0 new
Last post
Joined: 07/28/05
Posts: 246
How early do you tell family?

I want to tell grandparents and aunts on Christmas in a cute way, but is 8 weeks a good time to tell? We waited 12 weeks last time and I am not sure the first time since my husband accidentally spilled the beans. We don't have a history of losses, but I will not be going to the doctor until after new years. I am a bit worried since I am 36 now, which is now advanced maternal age. Would you tell on Christmas or wait?

Joined: 07/14/07
Posts: 382

We're going to wait until I see an u/s at 8 or 9 weeks. We told immediately our first pregnancy (ended in a loss), so subsequently we've waited for a heartbeat.

Carolyn B's picture
Joined: 01/18/10
Posts: 460

If I get a BFP at the end of the week, we'll tell immediate family only on Christmas. If something were to happen I would need/want their support anyway so why not. Everyone else will wait till closer to 12 weeks.

Charliesmommy's picture
Joined: 06/03/10
Posts: 61

We have only told my Mother so far. We will likely tell DH's parents and my father and sister at Christmas. I think 8 weeks is an ok time for you to tell...I completely agree with Carolyn B in that the people we tell early are people we would need support for if a loss occurred.

**Tiffany**'s picture
Joined: 11/21/03
Posts: 1230

We've only told my mom as well. We arent sure what to do about the kids. We are not going to tell them for a while yet until we get past the stage where most losses happen. But we lost Noah at 13w6d last April and if that were to happen again (God Forbid Im praying it doesnt!) we would want the children to know about their brother/sister. And if we tell the kids they will inevitably tell everyone else in town. We will wait until atleast the time when most losses occur is passed which my MW says is 12 wks. I was showing pretty good when I lost Noah as well it was obvious I had a belly but I probably could have passed it off as just a pot belly I suppose. We wont make an announcement to the general public extended family until after the first tri for sure though..

Joined: 07/28/05
Posts: 246

Tiffany, you reminded me of another issue- telling my kids. Wow, so much to think about. My oldest worries about me going in the hospital. He has said he doesn't want a brother or sister because I would have to go to the hospital. He is scared of hospitals, not sure if it was because he had to stay in the special care nursery for a while or he has seen some tv that frightened him. That fear has been there for a couple of years at least. I have had 2 c-sections so there is no avoiding the hospital.

pico83's picture
Joined: 09/06/06
Posts: 3008

We'll be telling family soon (maybe this weekend). It's my mom's birthday and my sister and I both had losses this summer, so I'd love to give her some good news. I probably tell my siblings at Christmas (the hyperemesis should be kicking in, so there's no hiding it). We won't tell the kids for a while, though.

Joined: 12/11/12
Posts: 1

We waited till 14 weeks my last pregnancy. I think I will have to tell sooner since my babies will be 14 months apart and I will most likley show sooner

bethmcd_22's picture
Joined: 05/10/08
Posts: 235

"Carolyn B" wrote:

If I get a BFP at the end of the week, we'll tell immediate family only on Christmas. If something were to happen I would need/want their support anyway so why not. Everyone else will wait till closer to 12 weeks.

I totally agree!

"pico83" wrote:

We'll be telling family soon (maybe this weekend). It's my mom's birthday and my sister and I both had losses this summer, so I'd love to give her some good news. I probably tell my siblings at Christmas (the hyperemesis should be kicking in, so there's no hiding it). We won't tell the kids for a while, though.

I don't like the hypermesis, but I totally identify with it, so I get what you are saying. I bet my family will guess pretty fast since we will be attending a party right off and I won't be drinking.

"SouthernMom" wrote:

I want to tell grandparents and aunts on Christmas in a cute way, but is 8 weeks a good time to tell? We waited 12 weeks last time and I am not sure the first time since my husband accidentally spilled the beans. We don't have a history of losses, but I will not be going to the doctor until after new years. I am a bit worried since I am 36 now, which is now advanced maternal age. Would you tell on Christmas or wait?

I'm so glad you posted this. I was thinking about posting this very question this weekend, but I fell asleep at the computer before I could write it! ;P

We have always told immediate family (my parents and DH's brothers) around 6 weeks. This time we are waiting until Christmas. I think we are going to let DS spill it for us. I think it will be kind of funny and cute. He really wants a baby sister for Christmas (with a little prompting) and we are going to prep him to tell my mom what he wants for Christmas. When he says a baby sister, it will be priceless.

blissfulliss's picture
Joined: 03/03/09
Posts: 337

hehe, well, I couldn't help it, we told pretty much all of our immediate family (parents & siblings) the day and day after we got our BFP... we've been TTC for almost 5 years and they all knew. Even tho I have been a little worried about the possibility of MC, we decided we definitely didn't want to just tell all of our family the bad news without giving them a little good news first... our grandparents all know and we've told a few close friends - the more prayers, the better. Smile

We'll probably make a mass announcement over our Christmas break or right after, when I'm a little farther along and have our first real appt scheduled with our midwife. Smile

BabiesRBlessings's picture
Joined: 10/24/13
Posts: 1106

We will tell on Christmas Day if we are pregnant this cycle...I'm departing on testing early and waiting to tell dh Christmas morni g if we are pregnant. Ill put something in his stocking.

DunyaWolf's picture
Joined: 07/25/08
Posts: 223

DH wants to wait until after Rowan's birthday because he doesn't want his birthday party to be overshadowed by excitement of a new baby. I agree, but his birthday isn't until January 31, and I just wonder if I'll be able to hide it that long. I'm not really sick yet so that may or may not be an issue. But I'm going to dinner with my mom this Friday for my birthday and I don't know how I'm going to keep it from her. She just KNOWS these things. The big tip off will be that I'm not drinking. And the other day we were at her house and she made two or three comments insinuating pregnancy and more grandbabies lol. I just know if she asks me directly I'm not going to be able to lie. Its not that I don't want to tell her, but she most likely won't keep it a secret.

bellablu81's picture
Joined: 06/22/09
Posts: 209

Last time I told parents the night we found out. But didn't share with anyone other than parents/siblings until we got a good ultrasound we heartbeat at 10weeks. I might wait until Christmas if I get a pos to tell the family just because it's fun with the holiday, but I'll only tell people that are close family.

pico83's picture
Joined: 09/06/06
Posts: 3008

"SouthernMom" wrote:

Tiffany, you reminded me of another issue- telling my kids. Wow, so much to think about.

I agree with Tiffany about waiting to tell older kids. loss ment With DS3 I told DS1 (he was 2 1/2) as soon as the m/s hit, although he already knew somehow. Then this summer my sister got pregnant and told us all. DS1 was overjoyed (he has no cousins) but then a few days later she lost it (ectopic) and he was devastated. Within a month I found out I was pregnant. DH wanted to tell the kids when I had my usual hyperemesis, but I insisted we hold off. I was really hard, but worth it, since I eventually m/c. So we'll be waiting to tell them, no matter how many times they tell me how much they want a new baby. I just keep telling myself they'll be happy whenever we tell them.

Log in or register to post comments