mixed family reactions

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tanismom's picture
Joined: 11/07/06
Posts: 717
mixed family reactions

So my dad was here visiting last week, and I couldn't help myself, I had to tell him! He loves babies and he loves being a grandfather - he hates that we're so far away, but he was so happy for us! My mom couldn't come this trip because of work, so I skyped her to tell her too and she was also really excited and thrilled for us.

So this past weekend we spent with my in-laws... (can you tell where this is going?) We were trying to find an opportunity all weekend to tell them, but I was so nauseous and exhausted that I spend most of the time in bed and DH was finding it hard to tell them without me... So finally towards Sat evening when I asked my MIL if she maybe had a sucking candy, she was like, "wow! You really haven't been feeling well all weekend!" So I said, (I call her Imma, Hebrew from Mom), "Imma, come on! I think you know what's going on here!" So then she says, "well I suspected, but now that you're saying something... wow. Oh my!" Well she was smiling, because I mean, it's not a bad thing... but she then went on to speak to both me and DH about when we were going to decide on some form of birth control!

I have bad reactions to hormones, and a lot of the other options cause irritation and discomfort, so I chart my fertility. But with 4 little kids, sometimes if you get a chance you have to take it even if it's risky!! And we're not opposed to a big family... but anyway, I don't have to justify myself to you guys, it was just so strange to experience the drastic difference between my parents' reaction and DH's...:confused:

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

Congratulations!!!!!!! So excited for you! I'm sorry your MIL's reaction wasn't quite what you were looking for, but it does sound like she is happy, just maybe surprised?

How is the health center going that you wanted to open?

Joined: 01/31/10
Posts: 23

Congratulations!! Very exciting news! I agree with above though, your Mil seems happy maybe just a little surprised? Have you said that you were going to wait awhile before trying again? Maybe that was why?

Joined: 01/19/06
Posts: 550

:lurk:

Congratulations from another July '09 Mama !!! I just had to come out of lurkdom for this. Biggrin

nurahjennah's picture
Joined: 05/22/08
Posts: 62

Im in the same position kinda.. i have 5 kiddos and i litterally waited till i was 6 months or more before i told my family... i havnet told anyone yet.. not even dh. Just waiting for the right moment.. and now is not the time. I prolly wont tell my family till I find out the sex of the baby. They're not really negative but they always ask when im going to stop having kids. Well I love them to death but I love the family I created and would not change it for anything. Congrats to you!!!!

DunyaWolf's picture
Joined: 07/25/08
Posts: 223

Tactless to question you about birth control! But like pps said, maybe sh really is happy and will come around.

I'm expecting mixed reactions too. This will be our third, and I just started back to school. But we wanted to do it, and I didn't want to wait 4+ years to have another (which is when I could expect to be done with school).

Joined: 01/31/10
Posts: 23

"nurahjennah" wrote:

Im in the same position kinda.. i have 5 kiddos and i litterally waited till i was 6 months or more before i told my family... i havnet told anyone yet.. not even dh. Just waiting for the right moment.. and now is not the time. I prolly wont tell my family till I find out the sex of the baby. They're not really negative but they always ask when im going to stop having kids. Well I love them to death but I love the family I created and would not change it for anything. Congrats to you!!!!

I am confused, you haven't told your husband? Why if I may ask?

tanismom's picture
Joined: 11/07/06
Posts: 717

Hey Mel and Nathalie!!! Nathalie - I haven't posted in our fb group yet... but I will soon! (maybe after dr appt on Thurs... Smile Mel - the health center is open! Right now, it's in a small two bedroom house that we've converted into two treatment rooms and a waiting area that can also be used for workshops and meetings. It still needs new paint and I would really love to furnish my room better... but we'll get there. I have a few regular clients and I started writing the birth preparation course that I've been dreaming about for ages! So hopefully I'll be able to start teaching classes there too soon!

Back to the topic - The truth is, I know she's happy, but she's just so darn practical! I'm not going to say I wouldn't have liked a bigger break... but her general opinion about us is that we just don't know how to cope with anything or make good decisions. DH is their youngest of 4, and he was kind of a surprise, his older sister is 7 years older than him! So they really still think of him as the baby. And when we were first married they helped us out a lot, they even paid our mortgage. But for the past 4 years we've been completely on our own. Even though they spend most of the year in Israel, they did not support our decision to move here. They really thought we weren't going to make it. So they basically "pulled all funding" so to speak, I mean, for our first 5 months here we lived in a hole-in-the-wall absorption center 10 minutes from their EMPTY apartment!! and they never offered for us to move in there until we found a place of our own! They let us spend weekends there sometimes! But I think they just see us as these young kids who haven't got a clue and "my gosh, do you really think it's wise to have another child???" GRRRR!

I'm venting, and I love them, and like I said, not only are they happy underneath the tongue clicking, but they will also help us out, (if not financially, but that doesn't bother me.) They'll come up and stay with us after the baby's born - and they are actually helpful! not in the way. My MIL will cook and clean and my FIL will take the kids out and fix stuff - and he loves hanging laundry! So I love them, and I appreciate them, just when you're super sensitive and vulnerable in the first trimester, "you really should consider birth control" is not what you want to hear!!

I feel a little better now.

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

That's wonderful about the Health Center! Smile Sounds like your dream is shaping up!

I have a friend who's Aunt and Grandmother are like that with him. They give him all sorts of grief and treat him like a 18 year old (he's 33). It's so silly!

I'm glad the venting is helping you feel better. Sometimes you just need to vent huh?! Smile

Starryblue702's picture
Joined: 04/06/11
Posts: 5454

I know just how you feel. DH and I haven't told his parents yet either because of how my dad reacted... Which was pretty much the same way your mil reacted! It just drives me nuts that we have to be made to feel ashamed because we have more babies than the average family. All of my children are well taken care of and I don't ask Anything of anyone in terms of help, so I have nothing to be ashamed of!

nurahjennah's picture
Joined: 05/22/08
Posts: 62

Not yet... just waiting for the right moment..... hasnt been one yet.... but when I do he'll prolly say that he already knew.