I thought I should start an online baby journal, as my memory is horrible. If I don't start writing some of these milestones/events down, I will never remember them!
I can't believe it's been over ten weeks since Ian entered our lives. It has been the most amazing experience so .
When I think back to the beginning, it seems so long ago...
Before I was with DSO, I was married to someone else for almost ten years. We had been actively TTC for at least five of those years. I have always wanted children. We got pregnant twice, and one resulted in a missed miscarriage, and the second turned out to be a blighted ovum. I was very depressed. Then my ex cheated on me with a fifteen year old. Those were some good times. :P
Then I met back up with DSO, with whom I had attended college sooo many years ago. I have known DSO for thirteen years, but it was only in 2006 that we became more than friends. I used Nuvaring and I loved it. Well, my prescription had run out in February of last year, and I had a dr's appointment set up to get a new one... I ended up having to work overtime that Friday, so I didn't get in for a couple weeks. LOL. I figured what are the chances I would get pregnant with my history? One of the great ironies of my life, I guess. I couldn't believe it when I got a BFP! Initially I had such mixed emotions. I have wanted a baby for as long as I could remember, but I hadn't been "with" DSO for very long and it wasn't the best timing.
I never considered not having Ian. I was in shock, terrified to tell my parents, but never thought about not going down that road. And I have NO regrets. He is such a little miracle!
When I was just seven weeks pregnant, I woke up one morning bleeding profusely. I immediately thought, "oh, here we go again..." I was so sure I was m/cing again. I cried. DSO cried. We mourned the loss. It was a Saturday. I didn't go to the doctor until Monday. I figured there wasn't any rush, since I had experienced natural m/c's two other times, so I knew what to expect. I just about passed out from shock when I went in on Monday for the u/s and the u/s tech said,"there's the heartbeat..." I just kept saying, "I can't believe it." I called DSO, who was a teacher. He freaked out! We couldn't believe the little orange seed was still alive, and had a heartbeat...
I'll continue the story later, when I have more time.
So I had lots of morning sickness, but other than that my pregnancy wasn't too bad in the first couple trimesters. I did have placenta previa but that resolved itself by the time of my 21 week u/s. In the third trimester I started to carry too much water weight, and Ian was breech. I was sooo huge!! I had numerous ultrasounds... Originally Ian was due on 11/29/07, but he came into this world at 12:41am on 11/17/07.
I started having contractions pretty consistently at the beginning of the week, on 11/12/07 (about five minutes apart). It made it very difficult to function, and I was so miserable. I pretty much just laid on the couch when I wasn't at the doctor's office getting checked out. On Thursday, 11/15 I was admitted to L&D. My temperature was 101, contractions were about five minutes apart. But I was only dialated 1cm, so after they got my temp down, they sent me home at 9pm. I felt okay for a copule hours, and then I started getting really sick and throwing up everything that I would put in my mouth (including water). Finally at 7am I was admitted back to L&D. This time my temp was 102. After laying in the bed there for four hours, I was sure they would send me home again, as nothing was different than it had been on Thursday. Well, my dr came in at noon and said she was going to induce. They didn't know if I had the flu or if I had an infection in my uterus, so to be safe, they wanted to get the baby out asap.
She broke my water at 12:30pm. It was ridiculous because I had so much extra fluid. It just kept on gushing out for so long! I felt like I was sitting in a pool of water. It smelled like it too. I didn't realize that amniotic fluid has a smell, but evidentally it does. I was then put on the pitocin. It was a slow, painful process. Finally at around 6pm I was dialated to 5cm, so they were able to do the epidural. Unfortunately the epidural didn't help at all. It only worked on one side, and it never went numb. It reduced the pain of the contractions for about two hours, and then it wore off. So I went into active labor at 10:30pm with no meds and a temp of 102. :P
After the first hour of active labor, they put me on oxygen because they were worried I might pass out. I was too, actually. I have never experienced such excruciating pain, and I was so exhausted. FINALLY, at around midnight they were able to see Ian's head starting to come out. Then he got stuck--his shoulders were too wide. So after another 41 minutes and an episiotomy, out he came, screaming away.
Because of my temperature (and of course Ian had a temp coming out too) and the possibility of infection, Ian and I had to stay in the hospital and get iv antibiotics for the first forty eight hours. It was a big struggle to try to breastfeed, because Ian was really tired from being pumped with drugs, plus he was jaundice, and he just didn't want to latch. It was really stressful.
After what seemed like forever, we were finally going to be discharged at noon on Monday. Then they discovered that I had four blood clots in my right leg. ARGH! So they ordered an ultrasound and wouldn't release us. I FINALLY had the ultrasound at 9pm that evening (good thing they weren't serious!!) but by that time the doctor on staff didn't feel comfortable releasing me, so we had to stay another night. We got to go home at around two pm on Tuesday, 11/20. I felt like we had been in the hospital forever. We were sooo happy to be home.
The first few days at home were stressful, but not nearly as stressful as being in the hospital.
We took Ian to the Dr that Friday (the day after Thanksgiving, Nov 23) to get checked. They wanted to check his weight and jaundice. Unfortunately, he was down to 7lb6oz (from 8lb5oz). It had taken four days for my milk to fully come in. We started immediately supplementing with formula. It was not a difficult decision for me, as I didn't want to starve my baby just because my body wasn't working right.
We had a follow up appointment on Tuesday to check his weight again, and he was up to 8lbs2oz already! Yay! I was so relieved, and it reinforced that I had made the right decision by supplementing.
Ian was still having issues latching on, so I rented an electric breast pump. I bf'd with a nipple shield for ten to fifteen minutes, then would follow up with pumped breast milk. If I didn't have enough breast milk, I would then follow that with the formula.
So the past two months haven't been terribly eventful, other than the usual woes of babies. Ian had two cases of yeast infection/diaper rash, but they have both cleared up, and we're good now.
As for breastfeeding, I converted over to formula at one month. My supply was dwindling and Ian never could latch on so it was frustrating for both of us. It caused me so much stress that when I was only pumping one ounce out of one breast and three out of the other I decided to give up. I feel bad about it, and wish that my breasts weren't so defective, but I did feel as if a weight had been lifted when I decided to go to formula. I don't have to worry about all the stresses and problems with breastfeeding/pumping, and I can just concentrate on feeding/loving my son. of course formula is EXPENSIVE, so that's a worry... but meh--what can you do?
Ian developed an umbilical hernia. He went and saw a pediatric surgeon, who said it should resolve itself and just to keep watching it. Just this last week it stopped popping out so far, so that has been a bit of a relief.
He has cradle cap, which seems quite common. I'm not going to worry about it. His case isn't very bad, so you don't even notice it unless you're up close.
His joints have been clicking randomly, which freaks me out. We talked to the pediatrician about it, and he said that it's normal. If he's still doing it at his next appointment, I'm going to ask about it again. This is where I wish we were closer to DSO's parents, because his dad is a pediatrician and we could have him take a look at Ian to make sure he's okay... Unfortunately his family is in Puerto Rico, so that's not going to happen. :P
He had his two month appointment on 1/15. It went fine. Everything looked good. He weight 14 pounds and was 24" long. Big boy. He didn't even really cry for the FOUR immunization shots. What a trooper!!!
He smiled for the first time at 6 weeks, and rolled over for the first time on 1/17/08 (two months old exactly). He is doing really well, has good head control, and only had one little cold (although he still has congestion that just won't go away, but it's much better than it used to be).
He has alway screamed for his baths and diaper changes. About two weeks ago he stopped screaming for his diaper changes, and just five days ago he had his first bath that he sort of enjoyed. He even splashed in the water a little bit. VERY CUTE.
As of last night, he weighs a whopping 16 pounds and he is approx 24.5 inches long.
It's so hard to leave Ian to go to work! This morning he looked so cute in DH's arms, being fed. When I came over to say goodbye, he stopped drinking his bottle and just stared at me, and when I said hi to him he got a great big smile on his face. So CUTE!!!
As much as I feel nostalgic when I look at his newborn/3month sized-clothing that we had to pack away a few weeks ago, I am enjoying my time with Ian so much more now that he is a bit older. Of course 2m2w isn't old by any means, but I am just loving how interactive he is. Before it was just all about feeding him, changing his diaper, and trying to get some sleep. He's not even close to sleeping through the night, so the sleep thing is still a struggle, but I love that he is so much more interactive. He can't sit up by himself yet, but with just a little support he can. He has total head control now. And there is so much time that he is awake and alert but NOT hungry. He is interested in things. He likes to be sung to, he likes to look at the pictures in books while I read to him... so cute!!! He is beginning to really like to be in his jumparoo. I think when he can actually reach the floor, he is really going to like it. He still hates the BeBe Pod, but hopefully that will change as well. Since I spent $50 on the thing, I hope it wasn't a complete waste of money!
Oh! And I can usually get him to smile for the camera these days. It's sooo nice!! I think he's finally ready for professional pictures! As soon as I get a coupon in the mail for professional pics, I'm going to take him in. It will be so cute. I want to do family pics too, but I need to lose like 30 lbs first. :P
I'm off work today, so it's nice to have quality time with Ian. He was a bit fussy this afternoon, but I've finally gotten him to go to sleep in his swing. He went through three diapers during his last diaper change. I was feeding him and then he started the tell-tale grunting, so I knew what was coming. It was so stinky, so I decided to change it right then. I'm not doing that again. I will now always wait at least fifteen minutes. So I changed his diaper and as soon as the new diaper was on he dropped another load. So that was the end of that diaper. Then I changed him again, and five minutes later he had more!! I couldn't believe it! What a waste of diapers!!! Lesson definitely learned.
I'm working on cleaning out the apartment and it is a complete sty right now, so back to work I go!
I have that Barenaked Ladies song, "Who Needs Sleep" running through my head. I feel like Ian is never going to catch on to the whole sleeping at night thing. No matter when I put him to bed, he wakes up at around 10 or 10:30 and will not go back to sleep until around 2am no matter what I do. I've tried everything to get him to stay asleep. He just doesn't want to. If he would just go to sleep at around midnight, that wouldn't even be so bad. But 2am is so rough when I have to get up at 5:30.
I am at work now, and I am totally exhausted. I just have to keep telling myself that eventually he'll get it.
He has also been exceptionally fussy for the past two days. Not sure what is driving that. He has started to drool, so I wonder if he has started the whole teething thing (I hope not!)
He is going to Grandma's house this afternoon, so hopefully he will be cooperative while he is there.
Still running on very little sleep. Monkey finally went to bed at 2:30am, and of course I had to get up at 6 to get ready for work. SO TIRED!!! He just wants to be awake at night. I could even tell that he was really tired. He was up from 7:30pm until 2:30am. He was just fighting it. On the bright side, he was still asleep when I left for work at 6:30, so maybe he and DH will get some sleep this morning.
I love how smiley Ian is these days. It's so nice to come home from work and get smiles from him. He smiles at the funniest things sometimes. He loves his Curious George monkey and will give it a big smile. Also loves his Lil Dino mobile. So cute!!!
Another day, still tired as can be... Ian didn't sleep and neither did I. I can't wait until he gets a little bit older and will actually go down for the night. It makes me sad that he's getting older, but at the same time I look forward to him getting bigger, older, more independent, and can sleep through the night. It's so exciting to watch Ian develop his little personality, and I can't wait to really get to know him!!!