Everyone knows Im training to be a cage fighter
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Thread: Everyone knows Im training to be a cage fighter

  1. #1
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    Default Everyone knows Im training to be a cage fighter

    So right now its a bit of catch up..if youd like to read my pregnancy journal its under the same title as this but under the preg journals board

    Id like to state that right now I have post partum depression. Its not a "phase" its a disease and its REAL. No vitamins or exercise are going to cure me although it might help...Ive gotten help and I start my meds on sunday. Its been rough these past two months but maybe you can join me in looking to find the humor in it all

    Christie
    Mama to Three!!
    Helena 11/00
    Laila....12/02
    Dominic 8/05
    SW:168
    GW1:129 8/06
    GW2:115 11/06
    CW:134
    Have you been MySpace'd??
    www.myspace.com/mama816

    "Lets Play, oh yeah on this jazzy jangle day, lets swing, oh yeah, rain and shine well have some fun...." RAFFI

  2. #2
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    Today is the second day Ive not nursed. Its trully a tragic feeling. The irony of it is my depression meds wont fully take effect for like 4 weeks!
    But hes doing pretty well on formula. He likes to look around and drink his bottle. My boobs kinda hurt and yesterday I didnt get engorged at all..so I pumped last night and again this morning. Im doing the cabbage leaves in the bra thing. Every time I put the leaves in my bra I cant help but think "this is like a boobie salad!!" I bet some weird perverts whould pay to eat the used cabbage. Theres some freaky people out there lol
    I think of the weirdest things I swear!!lol I went to Starbucks with my moms club. I felt a little better when TWO people said I looked great. Well one said I looked like I lost a ton of weight. More like 4 pounds lol
    I talked to my dh last night..about feeding the baby formula. I asked him if he understood why I have to take this medicine, and that even though there are safer meds, they dont know the long term side effects of them. He said he understood and then I asked him if he thought I was being a good mom. Dumb question huh? Like hed ever really say "you know what I think your a pretty crappy mom! I think I will take full custody of the kids cause you are just not good enough!" maybe thats what I wanted him to say anyhow
    so Ive been in a daze since I had the baby. Im glad I feel a little more connected and lovey towards him. It was just for the longest time he felt like a little stranger. I feel terrible for admitting this but I have to be honest, everytime he needed me for something Id think "greedy bastard" isnt that terrible?! Id catch myself and then Id think "what did he do NOTHING! hes a baby and he needs me" now Im a little better. okay a lot better, because I enjoy taking care of him. Or at least I think I do. there are so many aweful things that Ive told myself, that if I typed them down I whould surely cry. And you know, Im not expecting this medicine and counseling to make me like super mom, like an all together person. I just want to go about my day and not blow up uncontrollably, think aweful things, or just be able to do normal things. You know its silly, but Im terrified of giving the baby a bath. So now he takes showers with me. Im afraid hes going to drown. I dont want to drown him, but for some reason I really feel like hes going to. That I might let him. Or in better words, I wont be able to stop it. Isnt that terrible?! i think about it and it makes me want to puke. I even put the babys bathtub outside, on my patio, I just cant stand to look at it...ugh I just realized what time it was..I have to wash some bottles...until next time!!!!!!!!!!!
    Christie
    Mama to Three!!
    Helena 11/00
    Laila....12/02
    Dominic 8/05
    SW:168
    GW1:129 8/06
    GW2:115 11/06
    CW:134
    Have you been MySpace'd??
    www.myspace.com/mama816

    "Lets Play, oh yeah on this jazzy jangle day, lets swing, oh yeah, rain and shine well have some fun...." RAFFI

  3. #3
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    Okay so now Dom is 2 months old and he weighs 12.13 and is 22 and 3/4. Hes smiling now and he is just so cute!! He has thrush though so I have to boil all his bottles everytime he eats!! pain in the butt!
    Im doing tons better and I feel way more in control. So everything is going really well...I will post a pic later tonight!!
    Christie
    Mama to Three!!
    Helena 11/00
    Laila....12/02
    Dominic 8/05
    SW:168
    GW1:129 8/06
    GW2:115 11/06
    CW:134
    Have you been MySpace'd??
    www.myspace.com/mama816

    "Lets Play, oh yeah on this jazzy jangle day, lets swing, oh yeah, rain and shine well have some fun...." RAFFI

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