My poor little guy had such a tough night/early morning. It all started when Tim was giving him a bath and tried to make him sit up to wash his back. He was slippery, and the baby tub was slippery, so he kind of lolled sideways and bumped his head on the side of the tub! He started screaming and crying! Oh, it was just awful. Tim felt horrible, and I grabbed Nick up and soothed him and we quickly finished the rest of his bath. Then Tim put him down a little while later after he fed him, and the poor guy just spewed his formula everywhere! So we got him changed, and then he just started dry heaving for a minute or two. He didn't seem to mind though, because he was actually smiling and talking to us while dry heaving! It made me want to laugh and cry at the same time. He's just such a happy baby even when he feels bad! He puked again, and then we put him down to sleep, but he woke up crying because he had gas. So we gave him some gripe water and then he fell asleep. This morning he woke up crying again because of gas, so I held him and let him suck on my finger (works way better than a pacifier to soothe him) and he fell back asleep. Right now he's sleeping, but should be waking up soon to eat. *Sigh* I just hate seeing him in pain. I always silently ask God to give me his pain and just let him feel better. I'd take it all and more without a second thought! I just hate seeing my baby in pain/feeling bad. I hope he feels better today!
When I was pregnant with Nick, I constantly worried about how the relationship between Tim and me was going to change after the baby came. People were constantly saying how I was sure to love the baby more than my husband, and how I'd find out what love REALLY was. To be honest, I wasn't looking forward to that because up until then, Tim had been my whole life and I loved him more than anything. Well, now that Nick is here I can honestly say that I don't love either one of them more than the other! I love them both equally, but very separately. I love Tim like a soulmate and a companion. I can't wait to see him every night and can't wait to tell him all that happened during my day and hear what happened during his. I can't wait to do silly stuff like cuddle on the couch and read together. I love talking about the future with him, and I love to imagine us as this old, gray, shriveled couple walking hand in hand down the street. With Nick, I feel a fierce, protective kind of love. My heart hurts for him because he's so innocent and I so want to protect him from everything bad and I know I just cannot. I love his cute little personality, and cannot wait to see who he grows up to be! There is just no way to compare the two kinds of love. They are so very different! I know a lot of women say they love their kids more than their husbands, but I am just not one of them. And I like it that way!
Nick was feeling a lot better yesterday. He was up a little early this morning with gas, but Tim took care of him and I got to sleep! He's asleep now after his 7:30 feeding. I hope he has a good day today, too.
Oh, and I know this isn't my adoption journal but I had to make note - I spoke with Jenny at our old adoption agency about the current situation with Indian adoptions, and Tim and I made the official decision last night to go ahead with an adoption from India! We will be starting the paperwork in April-May, and hope to have our dossier submitted by October. I'm going to have two kids about a year apart, holy crap!
So it sucks, but I am sick as a dog. Tim was sick for a little while, and of course, I caught it! When Nick wakes up crying for a bottle, my head feels like it's going to explode! It's terrible. AND to top it off, we're out of cold medicine and Kleenex! Tim's going to pick me up some today. Can't wait for it to be the weekend so I can get some rest while he takes care of the Nicky-boy.
I think Nick's going through his 12-week growth spurt. It's hard to tell with him because he's so happy all the time! Sometimes I want to tell him that it's okay to scream or be grumpy all day if he feels bad. He's been waking up during the night again, and he wants to be held more than usual, so I'm sure that's what it is. I cannot believe that in a week, he'll be 3 months old! That was always such a big milestone for me in my head with him. 3 months old is definitely not a newborn anymore. He's growing up! I wish there was a way I could record every single thing he does. I want to remember everything, every nuance and every detail. I just feel so sad that some of this will be lost to us forever. Our first child, our little miracle... okay, I'm going to stop before you all start gagging!
or slapping you
Never, you deserve to have that happy baby. He's so tall, look at those legs.
The love you feel for your baby and husband is completely different. I think that while you'd certainly save the baby first if they were drowning, it doesn't mean you love them less. I always told my friends that they'd love their husbands completely differently, but probably love them MORE after a baby. How can you not rediscover love when you see your man and your baby asleep together, or watch him get googly over the baby. You'll love them each differently, and depending on who's driving you crazier at the time I wonder if people didn't mean something about how having kids can change your relationship. It certainly alters the dynamic of it and can sometimes leave us behind as partners and lovers and turn us into parents, particularly while in the "Trenches" of parenthood (you know, that first couple months)
Gah I'll stop now.. I just love the post baby relationship, and while he drives me up the wall, I love my bf more now than I did before we had kids. There's something about seeing how happy he gets when he sees his babies.
How fantastic about your adoption! I'm looking forward to following the next journey
You are just so sweet. I love how emersed you are in Nick . My first few months with our first was a blur really. So I am glad you take time and you try to remember as much as possible. He is your miracle!
Photo shoot in his "Daddy's Team" outfit. He's worn that ONCE and now he's almost too big for it already! People really love buying him clothes, especially all his "Grandmas" (great grandmas, great aunts, actual grandma, etc.)! I am so thankful, but sometimes I feel sad that he doesn't get to wear all of them - it seems so wasteful! My eyebrow lady told me that her granddaughter has the same problem, and she's only a month older than Nick, so maybe it's a common issue?? Oh, right, here's the picture: