Welcome! I hope things go smoothly for you!
*blush* Thank you! Hopefully my story isn't quite as boring as it seems to me when I'm writing it out. lol
Okay, so where to start. I'm Harmony, married to my wonderful DH for 2.5 years. We met at church during my sophomore year at college (his freshman year) and were just friends for about two years. But sometime around my 21st birthday, DH decided he'd rather be a bit more than friends. We dated for two years after that before we started talking marriage (although we both knew we were serious from the beginning), but we ran into some snags with DH's family over the marriage issue. DH is Korean, you see, and I am white American. We ran into culture clashes every time we turned around for the next year and a half, it seemed. His parents wanted us to wait until we were in our 30's to get married, but we didn't want to wait that long. Many marriages in Korea today are semi-arranged by the families, and we were completely ignoring that. Etc, etc, etc. DH had to deal with a lot more drama than I did, poor man, but for some reason that I still don't quite understand, he wanted to marry me more than he wanted to be on good terms with his parents. And so he proposed to me against their wishes. There was a month or two where we weren't quite certain if things would be okay with his family, but thankfully everything worked itself out and I now have a wonderful relationship with my in-laws. Ladies on pg.org talk about their in-law troubles all the time, but aside from when DH and I were dating and the early days of our engagement, I have had nothing but good things to say about mine. For that, I consider myself very lucky.
DH and I never used any birth control. We knew that miscarriages were not uncommon in my family, and I had so many friends who had waited to have kids only to face years of infertility when they finally went off their BC. We were hoping that by starting early we would avoid the problems that family and friends had. Unfortunately, it did not work that way. It took me 6 months to get pregnant the first time, only to lose the baby 6 weeks later. Then I got pregnant immediately after that and things looked wonderful. We even saw the heartbeat on the ultrasound at 6 weeks, a perfectly healthy heartbeat. Then, two weeks later at a routine follow-up, u/s showed that we had lost another. We dealt with OBs who were absolutely horrible to us (one OB told me that my miscarriages were "obstetrically boring"). Of course they couldn't help us, since we'd only had 2 m/c so far, and all the testing they could do on me came back negative. So we went into watch and wait mode. The new OB, who I was seeing because she was nice and hugged me when I was crying instead of the other doctors who didn't seem to care at all about my pain, told us that we would have to wait through either a year of infertility or another miscarriage before she could do anything else for us. So we waited. And waited. During this time both my best friend and my baby sister called to let me know they were pregnant. And then they called to tell me the results of the gender ultrasound. And then they sent pictures of their babies. 9 months or so after the second m/c, DH and I started looking into adoption and fostering programs. We began training to become foster parents. Just before the last weekend of our foster parent training, a full 12 months after my last m/c, I got my BFP. Initially I was disappointed, because I was certain I would lose this baby, too, and I knew that we couldn't finish the fostering certification if I was pregnant. So in my mind, this was just delaying me getting a baby for another few months.
But somehow, this little one stuck it out in my troublesome womb and I seriously can't believe we're only a month away from meeting her.
This pregnancy has been mostly wonderful. I've had some health issues - fainting, GD, asthma, migraines, etc - but physically I've felt great aside from being completely dead tired all the time. I'm in no hurry to deliver her. In fact, I really do enjoy being pregnant.
As far as natural childbirth goes, I've always known I wanted to avoid interventions. My mom told me about my own birth. She was induced because her waters broke, and she wound up needing pain killers because of the pitocin. I had trouble with nursing because of the drugs, she was out of it for the delivery, and her experience with my sister was so incredibly different from mine (all natural) that she always impressed upon me the importance of avoiding interventions. Plus, one of my mom's college friends is a pretty famous doula in our area and so I've always known more about NCB than any of my other friends. DH's mom is a huge proponent of NCB as well, so I've been incredibly supported by everyone: my mom, my MIL, DH, my SIL (who wants to be a doula!), my sister (who had a homebirth), and even my best friend - who had a wonderful experience of an accidental natural birth (labor went too fast for drugs) after promising me for years that she was going to use all the drugs she could get her hands on. In fact, I don't think I've had a single person say something negative to me about NCB during my entire pregnancy.
So our plan is to have a waterbirth at the most NCB-friendly hospital in the metro region, with one of the best MW practices in the city, and to hire my mom's doula friend to support me through the birth. Everyone keeps telling me that I'm setting myself up for the most amazing hospital birth I could possibly have, and I know that with the support system I have around me that if I do end up with interventions, they will be necessary and I can feel no guilt at all for using them. But like the MW told me at my last appointment, we're not even going to think about interventions right now.
So, um, is this the sort of thing I'm supposed to say to introduce myself in my lodge?? Thanks for reading. I'm so looking forward to savoring the last weeks of my pregnancy!
That was a wonderful into, Harmony. I'm so sorry for the losses of your first two babies, and I'm so glad this one stuck for you! I think it's great that you have so much support from your family and friends and you have a great plan for a natural hospital birth with a midwife and doula! I will be excited to read your birth story. I hope you continue to enjoy your pregnancy these next several weeks!
Some family pictures to decorate the lodge:
A wedding picture. If the baby comes 9 days past my "due date", she'll be born exactly 2.5 years after our wedding.
Our therapy puppy. She made the very difficult year after the last m/c a very happy time for us.
And a belly pic just for fun. 28w5d is the most recent one I have. Oops... I need to remedy that, perhaps at my shower this weekend.
I read a little of the FAQs re: the birthing lodges, and I was anticipating yours around this week! I enjoyed reading your story.
From what you have mentioned about your hospital & what I have read from another discussion board, I agree with you and DH in that I would probably enjoy working on the OB floor of your hospital.
Looking forward to reading more and maybe seeing a recent picture!
- Proud aunt to harmonybear's June Jitterbug
Welcome to your lodge!
We TTC'ed for 27 months before getting pregnant with Ethan (no losses) and I know that frustration! God and I had many "talks" along the way
Now we have Ethan and after 2 months of not-trying-not-preventing, I'm due in December!
Hope your last month goes smoothly!!!