*~*~*Melissa's (newbeginnings) Birth Lodge*~*~*

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ourfirstblessing's picture
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*~*~*Melissa's (newbeginnings) Birth Lodge*~*~*

It's a great weekend for lodges!!! I know it's a few days early but I go mine and now I'm starting yours!

Welcome to your lodge! I'm exciting to follow your journey!

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Congrats and welcome to your lodge!!!

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Welcome to your lodge! I can't wait to hear your story!

I so loving these November Mama's lodges!

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Yeah!!! It is almost time . . .

Congratulations on your lodge!!! Biggrin

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YAY!!! Welcome to your lodge, Melissa!

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Welcome to your lodge!!

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Welcome to your lodge!

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Yay Melissa! Congrats on your lodge. Go November mommies!

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Welcome to your lodge!!

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Yeah! Welcome to your lodge! Can't wait to read your intro!

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Yahoo WOWWWWW Yahoo

Yahoo CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR LODGE MELISSA !!! Yahoo

Can you believe it !!!!! Smile

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Whaahhhh, I have a lodge already??? EEP! I have been busy working my way through the new threads, and then I had to do a double-take there!!! Thanks so much guys, I will get busy on my intro! I have been planning it for a couple weeks now, just have to write everything out.... Smile

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Welcome to your logde!! YahooYahoo

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welcome to your lodge!

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Welcome to your lodge! I can't wait to read your intro!

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Woohoo!! Another November lodge!! Welcome!!

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Okay, where to begin.... Our story is a bit different from what you normally see, so it might take a little more explaining. I will try to keep this as simple as possible, but everyone from my BB knows that I can be pretty wordy LOL....

My name is Melissa, I am 23 years old and married to James (26). We met in February 2007 on MySpace actually.... I was just wasting time with a friend of mine and came across his profile and thought he was so hot LOL! I sent him an add request, and never expected to hear back but he messaged me the next day.... After a couple days of chatting online non-stop and some REALLY long phone calls, we met up in person and that was pretty much it for us!!! We had a really whirlwind romance at the beginning - this is gonna sound crazy, but I had moved in with him within a couple weeks, and we were engaged by June. I never used to believe in this sort of thing - I mean, NEVER - but the minute I laid eyes on him, I just knew this was the man I was going to marry. Knew it absolutely without a doubt in my mind!

We were never actively trying to get pregnant, but pretty much not protecting from day one.... I was actually on the TTC: Just Let It Happen board for a few months under the username JME_Forever - I remember Nicole and Kara from over there, not sure if they remember me??? Anyway, throughout the summer and fall of 2007, things started going bad between me and James, so I went on birth control in . . . September, I believe. Before we met, he served in the Marine Corps for four years and was stationed in Iraq for nearly a year. While he was over there, he had an IED go off in his face - he is VERY blessed to be alive at all! He was honorably discharged with a Purple Heart, but he does have some lasting effects from it all. His face looks fine - you wouldn't know anything had happened if he didn't tell you - but he has problems seeing and hearing on his right side. Another effect that he still struggles with is a pretty bad case of PTSD.... The PTSD affects his ability to handle stressful situations - aka, he doesn't handle them well AT ALL.... An impending wedding along with going to school full time and working a full time job were really starting to wear on him and affecting our relationship.

Just to make things more interesting, I had my own issues I was dealing with - before James, I have been married once before to someone who was incredibly emotionally abusive. I had been in counseling from time to time, but I still had pretty bad coping skills as far as conflict goes. Basically, when I would get in a fight with someone (especially James), I would just shut down and retreat into myself - couldn't talk things through, couldn't work out a solution.... So me and James ended up in this ugly cycle where he was stressed out and starting to have almost panic attacks, and when we would end up fighting, I would just hide in the bedroom and cry and nothing EVER got resolved.... I still loved him more than anything in the world, but we were both miserable and from where I was sitting, it didn't look like things were going to get better - we just didn't know how to handle each other!

In February, I was on my last pack of birth control and wasn't able to get to the doctor in time to get it refilled. So I figured I would just go without in February, and then start up again after I had one period. Except - you guessed it - my period never came.... I was about two weeks late when I finally broke down and took a test, and YUP, it was positive. The real kicker though? I had broken up with James and moved out three days previously. Awesome.

So from there, things just headed on from bad to worse.... I stayed in a friend's spare bedroom for a little over a month, and then ended up moving from spare room to spare room until May when I finally got a place of my own. I can honestly say those few months were some of the hardest I've been through. All I had to lean on was a couple IRL friends and my BB.... My parents kept trying to convince me to give the baby up for adoption - they wouldn't even discuss the pregnancy otherwise. I had awful morning sickness and no one around to help me deal with it. Things were really bad between me and James - we were still speaking, but there were a LOT of really ugly things that were said and done out of hurt and anger.... James was absolutely furious about me leaving, I was furious about the things that led up to me leaving.... Don't really want to get into all that, but suffice it to say that things were bad all around.

Finally around the middle of May, I had a doctor's appointment that James begged to come to. I had all but forbidden him from coming to them because of his behavior, but my mom convinced me to give him one last try. He didn't say much during the actual appointment, but when we were walking out to our cars, this 6'2", 250lb, Mr. Macho Marine actually got on his knees and cried.... He told me how miserable he was without me and begged me to try to work things out.... He had gotten on medication to help control his PTSD and was seeing a counselor to deal with his stress and anger problems. I was still too hurt myself to really listen to what he was saying, but we actually began speaking again somewhat civilly..... They say there is a very thin line between love and hate, and we were still teetering back and forth over that line, but there were some long nights spent talking through things. We both began to really see how miserable and hurting we were - we had never quit loving each other, but things just ended up getting completely out of hand.

After several weeks of this, we both accepted that we still very much wanted to be together, especially with our baby on the way.... So (in a total surprise to everyone, haha) we were married on June 19th in a small civil ceremony at the JP's office. It may not make sense, but I am honestly glad that we spent some time apart. If I had found out that I was pregnant before I left, then we would have been one of those couples that stayed together for the sake of the baby, but were always really miserable together.... In being apart, I finally learned to grow up and stand on my own two feet, to stand up for myself and not just be a wilting wallflower. James learned that he doesn't have to be Mr. Macho all the time, and he finally started getting the help that he needed but would never accept before. There are things that happened that I wish had not happened, but all in all, I think we are both stronger as individuals and our relationship is a million times better than it EVER was.

I really believe that God gave us this baby for a reason - I am not sure we would ever have worked things out without this one last thread holding us together. James is the absolute love of my life, and I still believe just like I did on the first day that we were meant to be together. It's totally corny, but it's true. I can't imagine going through these next months and years without him! We just had to be typical humans and make everything as difficult as possible first, LOL!

So the past 4 months of my pregnancy have been pretty great - once we got all that mess out of the way, haha!!! My morning sickness was so bad that I was constantly losing weight at the beginning - I didn't gain a single pound until my 5th month, and then of course I started packing it on LOL! I am about 45lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight - ACK - but everyone swears that it will come off with breast-feeding! Other than the morning sickness, things have been pretty uneventful. I have not had any sort of major complications, and just the usual aches and pains.... I try to remind myself of that when my back is aching and I can hardly stand up out of my chair LOL - there are plenty of women who have had it a lot worse than me!!!

I am definitely ready for this little girl to go ahead and make appearance, but I am certainly not miserable yet. So if she decides to stick it out till her due date, then I guess that is what will be! I might change my mind here in another week or two haha, but I just try to remember that there is a definite end in sight - my doctor won't let me go past 42 weeks (December 2nd), so by December 3rd, I will have my baby one way or another!!! Biggrin

I have rambled on wayyyyy too long now, and I doubt anyone has made it this far LOL! But I will save my thoughts on natural birth for another day, just to give myself (and everyone else!) a breather. Wink

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35 weeks, 6 days

Here are some pictures for your viewing pleasure!!! Biggrin


Our first date - sorry it's kinda blurry, I just love this pic cause we both look crazy happy Biggrin


This is from Six Flags last summer.


More from last summer!


Christmas last year - so exciting that our Christmas pics for this year will include our little girl!!! Biggrin


Me and "my" horse - a friend was teaching me to barrel race right before I got pregnant


The last pic I have of us "before"


Our wedding - this is my absolutely favorite pic of us! Biggrin


I was about 4 months preg at this point, I think....


You can sorta see my tattoo here - a blue rose that says "Semper Fidelis"


At the "reception" - aka pool hall hahaha - yes, we are rednecks....


My "bump" at 5 weeks


My most recent pic of the bump at 35 weeks - eep!


And last but not least, our furbabies! Jose is my spoiled little Chihuahua on the left, and Mary is James' spoiled Pit Bull on the right. Jose is a little ham haha, he always poses for pics, but Mary hates them so she is trying to hide from the camera....

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What a wonderful story! I cannot imagine how hard that must have been for you guys but you made it through some of the worst and are stronger for it now. I cannot wait to hear more! Smile

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wow, you two have had some rough moments but it sounds like it made you much stronger.

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Great intro...
I knew most of it since I know you from the Nov board....
I love your photos !!!!

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Thanks for sharing your story. I think your little girl is the like a guardian angel for you two.

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Great intro and pics.

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I really enjoyed your intro alot! I'm glad you guys sorted things out and have had a chance to build a strong relationship before your little one gets here. I look forward to following your story.

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36 weeks

Okay, here is the story of how I came to want a natural birth....

I actually started off as the type of person who would go in demanding every medical intervention known to man - in high school, I used to ask my mom if they could just knock me out totally and wake me up when the baby was out. LOL! As far as the epidural, I just figured it was one of those things that everyone gets - just part of delivering a baby!

I have always been "obsessed" with pregnancy and babies - when I was a kid, I used to say I wanted 11 kids.... :eek: (Yeah, I've changed my mind a bit, haha!) Anyway, around probably 19 or 20, I stumbled across a pregnancy message board and got totally hooked. Even though I wasn't pregnant or even TTC, I lurked and read absolutely everything I could find.... I am really a testament to why it's important to share info about NCB whenever you can - it was just through little posts here and there that I began to realize that everyone DIDN'T have an epidural/medicated birth.... I was pretty skeptical at first - why would you go through all that pain if you don't have to??? - but I kept reading and shelving away information in the back of my mind....

James is kinda "crunchy" in that he likes to do things as naturally as possible.... He HATES processed foods, never takes medicine unless he is halfway dying, etc. So just being with him started moving me more towards that mindset about life - not putting a bunch of unnecessary, unnatural things into my body. Then, I found PG.org last year when we started actively NPP-ing (is that an oxymoron LOL?). Believe it or not, there are a LOT more NCB-er's on this site than on the other ones I had been visiting. For the first time I heard someone say that not only is a medicated birth not really necessary, but that it can actually be harmful for both you and the baby! I started asking more questions, and now that I knew what I was looking for, my research was a lot more productive! I don't really know when it happened exactly, but somewhere along the way I woke up and realized that NCB was the best for me and my baby, and I haven't looked back since!!!

Another factor to add in is that I have a severe phobia about things piercing my skin - needles, knives (aka surgery), anything like that gives me the heebie-jeebies! I have been doing okay so far with getting my blood drawn, but there have been times I've had to breathe in my little paper sack to not hyperventilate.... And I have to say - the ideas of being hooked up to IVs, having a catheter in my back, and possibly being cut open are all WAY, WAY scarier to me than the idea of pushing out a baby naturally! LOL

So there you have it! Dirol

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what an amazing story you and James have. i remembered you saying that you guys had a rocky start, it's so great to hear it has a happy ending!!! I totally hear you about being more afraid of all the interventions than the possible pain. For me I also think that once baby is out that pain is over, with the additional interventions you generally need more 'help' even after baby arrives ya know. I'm really looking forward to following your journey. Happy 36 weeks, we are only 1 day apart!

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I'm a little late at this, but wanted to say congrats on your lodge! I loved reading your intro and reasons for wanting a natural birth! It sounds like you have some great knowledge and I'm sure you will have such a wonderful birth experience! I can't wait to follow you last few weeks and ready your birth story!

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Great intro! I loved it! And How lucky/blessed you are to have stumbled across NCB before your first baby! A lot of people don't find out til after the fact. Good for you!

I can't wait to hear your birth story and see pics of your little princess!

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I used to be one of those people who always thought they'd have a medicated birth, too. I think more and more women today are questioning current protocols and looking for something more human, and it's very exciting! TFS your story.

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I use to be the same way...give me all the pain meds possible and let me enjoy my labor and delivery. But now I want to give my baby a grand entry into the world without drugs. I think its a great decision we have made!

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Thank you so much for sharing that. Would you mind sharing some of the things you learned? I ask because although most of us know there may be someone lurking just as you had and this may be the first place the stumble across. Wink

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"wishing4agirl" wrote:

Thank you so much for sharing that. Would you mind sharing some of the things you learned? I ask because although most of us know there may be someone lurking just as you had and this may be the first place the stumble across. Wink

Oh goodness, where to even begin LOL! I guess the main thing I learned is that there is a risk to everything - even the old "tried-and-trues" like epidurals are not completely safe! It's just a matter of being informed and knowing what those risks are, and if they are worth taking in your situation.... Don't go in there blindly trusting everything everyone says - that was the most important thing I learned!!!

So my blood pressure has been jumping all around today - 140/76 this morning, then 110/82 around lunch, then 119/70-something in the afternoon.... Had my mom and everyone at work completely freaking out on me, and of course my doctor gave his usual response of "normal".... :rolleyes: I have an appointment tomorrow morning, so I guess I'll see how it looks then! I am just resting in bed right now with my feet propped up - my head is still aching....

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Sorry your not feeling well, and I hope your appointment tomorrow shows only good things. Keep resting and take care of your self.

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Great intro - what a story! TFS! You and your dh look so good together! I hope your appt goes well tomorrow.

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Thanks for sharing your story! What an intro, sounds like everything that happened made you guys a lot stronger though. I love that wedding pic of you guys too...beautiful!

I hope your BP regulates. Get some rest for sure!

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Try not to worry about your BP. It sounds completely normal to me at those levels (wish mine were that low!)...

I hope your appointment goes well and make sure you KUP!

Love,

Sarah-Jean

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Great advice for someone lurking.

Sorry to hear you aren't feeling well. Hope you get better soon. Resting is a very good idea.

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Hi Melissa! I'm a bit late here but Welcome to your Lodge! Your story is heartbreaking and inspiring at the same time. I'm glad that you two have found a good ballance. Your baby will bennifit from your strength!

Try not to stress about your BP, stress can only hinder any help your trying to give your body. Drink tons, rest often and keep your circulation moving a bit now and then.

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How are you today? Hope all is well.

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Let us know about your appt when you get a chance!

Sending you :bighug:

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36 weeks, 2 days

Hey there everyone!!! Thanks for all the well wishes, yall are great! Biggrin

Well, had a fairly good appointment this morning - doctor was slightly less useless than usual, haha.... DH said he must have remembered to get his coffee this morning LOL! Anyway, I am dilated to 1 1/2cm, long, no effacement.... But he could feel her head, so that has to be a good sign right??? At least I am making some progress - I think I would have cried if he said I was still completely closed!!!

My BP was fine in the office today, 114/75.... He said I have been perfectly healthy the whole pregnancy, me and Joss both look great, and that I just worry too much LOL.... Well, like I told him, that's a FTM for you!!! He did say he doesn't think I should bother checking my BP at work anymore - I am up to weekly appts now, so they would probably catch it going up pretty quickly, and I am just stressing myself out by worrying about it.... Oh yes, and I had my GBS swab, so send me negative vibes!!!

So that was about it, pretty uneventful! On a side note, I am measuring at 40 weeks, ACK!!! I believe the doctor's exact words were - "WHOAAA...." :rolleyes: He is not worried about it at all, I have always been measuring big, but dang.... I don't feel that big, but I guess that explains why everyone at work keeps thinking I should have popped by now! I had DH take some pictures of me, and my face looks awful bloated and just gross in all of them, so I cut that part out LOL.... So anyhoo, here is my 40 week belly at 36 weeks!

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Those are great numbers!

I was measuring 40 weeks at 37 weeks.

It sounds like you are doing great and are headed in the right direction!:D

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Glad to hear your appointment went well. Your dr probably has a point--you're probably making your BP worse by stressing about it. I had my first cervix check at 38 weeks and was still completely closed, so 1 cm at 36 weeks is something. Your belly looks great!

Sending GBS negative vibes your way!

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GBS- vibes coming your way :vibes:

Glad your Dr. was helpful this time. Great on the dilation, too! I'd stay away from the BP, too, unless you're feeling really weird.

I know what you mean about cutting out your face. I look like I have a sunburn all of the time now.

Good to hear that, although you're measuring at 40 wks, you're not feeling it!

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I was completely closed the morning I delivered DD! I am so jealous!!!! Maybe this time my body will do things a little slower.

That is a good report from the doc. Praying for GBS-!

And your belly is soooo cute- no stretch marks even! Maybe she will be here soon. :bigarmhug:

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You look great hun!! I hope your time left waiting is short. Congrats on the good appointment.

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{{{{-------------}}}} You look great, i'm *think* i read somewhere that amniotic fluid can fluctuate right now so it may not directly relate to the size of your baby, but I also have preggo brain so I could just be making that up lol! Sounds like a good appt and yay for weeklys, I think they help the time go by!

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You look great! Sending you -----gbs vibes!!

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Okay sorry TMI everyone, but I just went to the bathroom and there were globs of pinkish "snot" on the paper when I wiped! I even wiped twice to double-check LOL! Am I right in guessing this is probably part of my mucus plug???

I sure hope so, it would be so awesome to know my body was doing SOMETHING lol!!!

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Yep - that's the plug! Yay for progress!!!

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Sounds like mucus plug to me! Yay for mucus!

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