*~*~*~*Ariel's (krazykat) Birth Lodge*~*~*~*

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faeriecurls's picture
Joined: 06/04/08
Posts: 790
*~*~*~*Ariel's (krazykat) Birth Lodge*~*~*~*

I noticed you were 36+ weeks and didn't have a lodge yet. Welcome to your lodge!

Illiana's picture
Joined: 09/29/05
Posts: 338

Yay! Can't wait to follow you on here..

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

Woo Hooo! Welcome to your lodge! I can't wait to follow your journey! I'm really excited for your HBAC!

Melychang's picture
Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 796

Woot! I am so excited to follow your hbac journey!!

LMCH's picture
Joined: 02/05/07
Posts: 2031

welcome to your lodge! excited to hear your stories!

krazykat's picture
Joined: 08/11/07
Posts: 1143

Yayyyy... I'm so excited! Thank you ladies!! I'll have to post my intro when I can keep my eyes open better Wink

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Yahoo!! Welcome to your lodge, Ariel!!

MrsMangoBabe's picture
Joined: 04/09/07
Posts: 2276

welcome to your HBAC lodge, Ariel!

kridda_88's picture
Joined: 01/28/08
Posts: 1798

Welcome to your lodge! I'm so excited to follow your journey! I can't believe you are so close already!

jooniper's picture
Joined: 08/27/07
Posts: 780

Hooray, it's time for your lodge! You made it!

Joined: 11/29/06
Posts: 1316

YAY! Welcome to your lodge!! Biggrin

mjones6102's picture
Joined: 11/06/07
Posts: 535

Welcome to your Lodge! I can't wait to hear about your HBAC.

sarahsunshine's picture
Joined: 11/29/06
Posts: 1462

Welcome to your lodge! This is our first September lodge!!!! Wooot!

krazykat's picture
Joined: 08/11/07
Posts: 1143

Oh my goodness, I'm still so excited!! I have been reading all the other lodges and thinking it seemed like forever until I would get one. But here we are!!

Ok, so to start my introduction, I figured I would tell how DH and I met. January 2005: I was in North Carolina in college at the time. I was working full-time as the night auditor of a hotel and going to school during the day. I was kindof dating two other guys off and on, but nothing serious, and I was really fed up with it all. There were times I had planned to go to the military and had a lot of high school friends that did, so I was hanging out in a Yahoo Military Chatroom at about 2 am since I was bored at work. DH sent me a message just saying hey, and we chatted for a few minutes. Then, out of the blue, he asked for my phone number, and I GAVE IT TO HIM. That is normally something I never would have done! He was serving a tour with the Army in Korea at the time, and not scheduled to come home for 6 more months.

When he called, it was extremely awkward. After about a minute he ended it saying, "Uhhh, I'll call you back later..." Over the next couple of months we emailed, and talked on the phone every day. I did not have a clue what he looked like, but he had seen pictures of me. He told me he was a red-head with blue eyes, and a lot of chest hair (lol). I told him that I had no trust in men, that I would never date anyone in the military, or that was my own age, and matter-of-fact I was thinking of becoming lesbian (:ROFL:).

So he bugged the crap out of me calling all the time, and then eventually I got pictures and thought, "Hmmm... he's pretty hot!" Even though he was in the military and only 5 days older than me... but his hair wasn't really red, more like auburn colored. And we actually began to connect over some of our long conversations and I looked forward to him calling. It really hit me when he went on a several day road march and lost his phone and couldn't call. I didn't know he lost it so I thought he had just ditched me and I was really upset. But as soon as he could, he called and I knew there was more to "us" than I wanted to admit.

The rest was history! When he came home in June, I drove all the way to West Virginia to meet him in person for the first time. We clicked immediately and it was like we had known each other forever. I met his whole family and everything was perfect. Then, he had to go to Texas. I begged him to let me quit school and come be with him in Texas, but he said he just couldn't let me do that. Thankfully, I stayed in to finish my senior year, he got sent out for the Hurricane Katrina clean-up about 2 months after getting to Texas and then two months after that he was sent to Iraq for the first time. He called me from Kuwait and told me he should have married me before he left.

So when he got home for his mid-tour leave, we went to the JOP and got married with just me and him, and our witnesses; a random girl that was paying a speeding ticket behind us in line, and an acquaintance of mine. I finished an internship with the State and then moved myself to Texas in August (all I had was what would fit in my car) to set up a home for him to come to in November when he got back from Iraq. November of 2006, after having already been married for 6 months, we began our life living together as a married couple.

Us, just minutes after getting married:

Coming up next: Baby story Blum 3

jooniper's picture
Joined: 08/27/07
Posts: 780

What a sweet, romantic story! That's awesome that you got to really know him before even meeting him.

MrsMangoBabe's picture
Joined: 04/09/07
Posts: 2276

Loved the story of you and DH! The eloping befoere he goes on a military tour aspect makes for a really romantic story. I like how the random girl paying a speeding ticket was your witness.

faeriecurls's picture
Joined: 06/04/08
Posts: 790

I love the story of you & DH!

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

That is so sweet that you guys talked every day like that before you even met!

Illiana's picture
Joined: 09/29/05
Posts: 338

aww thats so sweet.

krazykat's picture
Joined: 08/11/07
Posts: 1143

*Warning: This one will be long ;)*

I had been off BC for a while already since he hadn't been home, so when he came back in November 2006, I never went back on it. At first, we weren't really trying, but we weren't doing anything to prevent it, and pretty soon, we were wanting a baby badly. It had almost been a full year when I went on Clomid for the first time. One night we DTD, and the very next morning we got a call saying that his grandmother had passed away. It was really weird, but I just knew at that point that we would be pregnant. Then, in April 2008, at 11 DPO we got our BFP. DH deployed to Iraq again in June.

I wanted a NCB, but (naively) did absolutely nothing to prepare for it. I took the hospital birth class, and that was about it. I didn't eat right, and I didn't stay in shape. I started the pregnancy at 206 lbs and ended at 214, so not a lot of weight gain, but I was not in shape at all.

Here is the full birth story (DH made it home for mid-tour leave about a week before her birth):

Sunday December 14, 2008, I began having contractions around 3 a.m. that were spaced around 5 minutes apart. I tried to go back to sleep to no avail, so I got up and got in the bathtub hoping to ease the discomfort. Nothing seemed to work, so I got back in bed and just waited it out. Later that evening DH and I decided to go to L&D and see if there was any progress. The Wednesday prior at my 38 week appointment, I was dilated to maybe a “fingertip” according to my doctor. After they examined me in L&D I was about 1-2 cms. They sent me home to wait for my contractions to get more painful or closer together.

Monday December 15, 2008, I was in a lot more pain throughout the early morning. I did not get any sleep and decided to see if my OB would see me in his office so we would not have to drive all the way to L&D again. When I got there he said I was still maybe 1-2. I was almost in tears at points because the contractions were so intense, but no closer together. I had a prenatal massage scheduled for that morning that I almost cancelled but decided to go in the hopes it would relax me a little. That was the best thing EVER! During the massage and afterwards, my contractions completely eased off. I could feel the tightening, but no pain during them for several hours.

Later that afternoon when I got home, I started to get the chills and took a bath because it was really cold outside. Then it occurred to me that I might have a fever. I took my temp and got 101.9 and we were off to L&D again. After the exam the doctor said I was around 2.5 dilated, and baby looked great on the monitors. They then sent me home and told me to take Tylenol.

Tuesday December 16, 2008, I woke up early morning again with a ton of contractions around 3 to 4 minutes apart but still the same intensity. BUT I had horrible chills. I felt like I was rocking the bed. I decided to get up and take a bath to try to warm up and I took some Tylenol, phenergan, and tried to drink some water. After my bath I got really nauseated and threw up. I decided to take my temperature again and got 103.5! Off to L&D again!

This time as soon as they hooked me up to the monitors, I knew something was wrong. My LO’s heart rate was around the 200s. The doctor seemed really concerned and immediately admitted me. During the exam I had not made any progress. They put me on fluids, and continually monitored the baby. Later that evening my fever broke (I sweated through all the linens… gross!) and the baby’s heart rate dropped to a better level. They said if my fever stayed down they would talk about inducing on Wednesday. They also did an amnio to make sure the baby’s fluid was not infected, and then they flu-tested me and took all kinds of blood. The rest of the night was pretty uneventful, and the next day is where all the fun began.

Wednesday December 17, 2008, at 8:30 am they entered the pill to ripen my cervix (Cytotec) some more since I had not had any progress but was having regular contractions. At 1:00 pm they started the pitocin. The contractions got a little more intense, but nothing unbearable. At 2:30 pm I was 100% effaced so the doctor decided to break my water. I immediately went to about 4 cms and the pain was tremendous, especially to my right side and around the right side of my back. At 3:00 pm they allowed me to get the epidural. It gave me some relief but never took effect on my right side or right side of my back. The next few hours were pretty much a blur of pain and DH telling me to breath. They gave me several doses of the epidural but it never took full effect on my right, although my legs were completely gone. Around 12 am I started throwing up because of the pain and was losing my mind because I had not made any further progress. The doctor decided to do a C/S due to “failure to progress”. I was ready for anything; I just wanted to be out of pain.

They finally took me to the back and gave me so much epidural medicine that the anesthesiologist had to call and get a second opinion. They kept asking me in between contractions if I could feel them pinching my belly and I could. The epidural only took effect from my hips down. So they decided I would have to go completely under. I was so upset because DH could not be there, but I felt like I was going to die if they didn’t do something soon. I went out like a light.

Sylvia Joleigh was born at 3:18 am on Thursday December 18, 2008 at 39 weeks on the dot. She was 8 lbs. and 19 inches long. I wasn’t really able to enjoy her at first because I felt so weak and I had the shakes so bad. They were uncontrollable. DH was wonderful though. I knew he was really worried about me, but he took great care of her during that time period. We were sent to postpartum and I thought everything was going well until the nurse noticed that my baby girl was grunting constantly. I thought it was just normal baby stuff, but they took her temp and it was low. Her blood sugar was also extremely low (around 35). And that’s when they made the call to put her in NICU. I think that maybe she ended up with the same infection I had. They did so many tests (on her and me) and they all came back negative. No flu, no cold, no nothing; just an elevated white blood count. But they decided to keep her and run a full course of antibiotics. It was heartbreaking to me to see her with an IV in her head and oxygen on. I have never cried so much in my life. I couldn’t stand having to leave her every day.

Finally on Sunday they released me from the hospital and we stayed in a hotel across the road until they released Sylvia on Tuesday. The best Christmas present ever! She is breastfeeding like a champ and doesn’t seem to have any problems. And in between that time DH’s command denied a Red Cross request for an emergency leave extension (but that’s in a whole other post).

So it was a very long, painful, and emotional, process but totally worth it when I look into my little girl’s eyes, or watch her while she sleeps.

"Sylvia" was after his late grandmother, "Jo" is his mom's middle name, and "Leigh" is my mom's... so that's how we got Sylvia Joleigh. Sylvia is originally a Latin name, and was also a Goddess of the Forest who was mother to Romulus and Remus (the founders of Rome).

What I found out after the fact, once I read my medical records in 2010:
-I had an infection called Chorioamnionitis. Some of the signs are high fever, increased fetal and/or maternal heart rate, uterine sensitivity, extremely ineffective contractions, excessive bleeding after birth
-The baby was posterior
-One of the worst things you can do with a mother who has Chorio is rupture membranes if they haven’t been ruptured. I also should have never let them rupture my membranes since she was posterior.
-Sylvia had to be resuscitated at birth
-I lost 800 cc of blood which is borderline hemorrhage

ETA: Pictures!!

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

What an experience you had during the birth of your DD. I'm so glad that both of up made it through alright given what you both had do deal with before, during, and after labor. Scary. How long was your DH home after the birth before he redeployed? Is he going to be able to get a leave for the birth of your DS?

Joined: 04/30/09
Posts: 2257

Yay Ariel! You are so close to meeting your little boy. I can't wait to hear all about your HBAC. Biggrin

I just love love loved your story of how you and DH met! I remember you posting some stuff about your experience with your l&d with DD on the Sept board but wow, what a roller coaster! TFS.

MrsMangoBabe's picture
Joined: 04/09/07
Posts: 2276

Wow, I'm sorry you had such a tough birth. At least it pushed you to be more informed this time. I hope you have a much better experience with this birth

krazykat's picture
Joined: 08/11/07
Posts: 1143

Joy, she was born on Thursday and he was gone by the next Thursday, and DD was in NICU for six days Sad They told him they would do their best to get him home this time, but we aren't going to pursue it. If he comes home now, this will be the only leave he gets, so DD would have to go 10 months without seeing him. We decided not to do that to her. Plus I don't want to be pressured to have the baby at a certain time, etc like I was with DD. It was extremely stressful thinking, what if I have the baby before he gets here? what if he comes and I don't have the baby until after he leaves? etc, kwim?

krazykat's picture
Joined: 08/11/07
Posts: 1143

"MrsMangoBabe" wrote:

Wow, I'm sorry you had such a tough birth. At least it pushed you to be more informed this time. I hope you have a much better experience with this birth

Oh I TOTALLY agree. Other than DD, that was the best thing to come out of the whole experience. I know more now than I would have ever been motivated to learn if it hadn't happened that way. Her birth definitely changed my life and views on a lot of things.

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Welcome to your lodge, Ariel! I've enjoyed stalking you on the September board! The story about how you met your DH is so sweet. I also had a stranger serve as my witness (long story super short- the waitress at our favorite bar)!

I'm sorry your DD's birth was so rough. Just from reading your posts I'm positive you'll have a much better birth experience this time around.

tink9702's picture
Joined: 09/28/08
Posts: 2977

TFS your stories. Your daughter's birth was quite eventful. I hope your son comes into the world in a much more peaceful manner!

mjones6102's picture
Joined: 11/06/07
Posts: 535

TFS your stories. I am enjoying getting to know you better. I understand some of what you went through with DD with the NICU as I experienced that as well. It is a horrible experience. I am sure things this time will be much better.

krazykat's picture
Joined: 08/11/07
Posts: 1143

This little guy's story so far:

Most of you have seen me through a lot of the challenges we have faced this pregnancy. After DD, DH came home 6 months later and we began to readjust to family life. It was rough, I'm not gonna lie. We had some very hard times and I even thought about where I would go if I left him. He hadn't really done anything, but I think I was just in a bad spot; unhappy with myself, and unhappy with everything. We did a marriage retreat sponsored by the Army, and that was a turning point. I also was on anxiety and sleep medication briefly. Then, I joined a program called Transformation (Here is my profile with before and after pics if you are interested: http://www.transformation.com/ariel_elizabeth2002) and began to get physically healthy again.

So he came home June 1st, and in September I got a BFP. Unfortunately, it was not meant to be, and I began to bleed shortly after. I stayed on track with my exercise and eating and by November, I had lost nearly 30 pounds. I was also running 3-4 days a week and had worked myself up to six miles! The Trasformation puts a lot of focus on healing the inside to change the outside, so by that time our lives had changed drastically for the better. All the while we weren't trying (especially since I had so many physical goals I was trying to meet), but we weren't doing anything to prevent it once again.

A couple of days after Thanksgiving we had to move to a temporary furnished apartment because we found a renter for our house. We celebrated DD's first birthday, and then prepared for a move to Alaska on December 31st. By that point, I had "feeling" I might be pregnant, but I hadn't had a chance to test. We got to Fairbanks (at a very cold negative 40 degrees!!), and the next afternoon in the hotel room, I found a spare test I had just happened to have in my suitcase and I POAS. I walked into the bedroom where DH was playing with DD and said, "Well looks like you have done it again" in a really stern tone. He looked at me like WTF? And I said, "I'm pregnant!" We were both exstatic. Ironically, I suspect that I conceived the night of DD's birthday... hehe!

Shortly after our arrival in Fairbanks, we were deferred to Anchorage (400 miles away) and had to move again. Then within 30 days he found out he was scheduled to deploy again. When he left this past time, he had just barely been home a year.

So originally I had planned for a NCB in a hospital, but I quickly found out how limited I would be as a VBAC and decided I am too tired and too lonely to fight by myself. If DH were here to advocate for me I would probably feel a lot better about the hospital. After Bradley classes and Hypnobabies, I found myself considering homebirth over and over again. I can't think of a place I am more comfortable, I would be a basket case if I had to be away from DD, and I want as little intervention as possible to give me the best chance of a VBAC. DH was able to attend Bradley with me, and when I mentioned an HBAC, he was suprisingly on board 100%. We did a lot of research and soul-searching together and we were reassured over and over again that HBAC was our best option.

In between there, DD and I moved from Alaska, to West Virginia, to North Carolina, while DH stayed in Alaska to get ready for deployment, and I have gone from the military hospital, to a natural-minded (fantastic) OB in Alaska, to a CPM in West Virginia, to a CNM here in North Carolina (at about 30 weeks pregnant).... SHEW!

So here we are! I've been basically following the Brewer Diet, and I have kept up an hour of cardio, 5-6 days a week. Sometimes I go swimming for an extra 30 minutes afterwards. I practice deep (flat-footed) squats and kegels every day, and I am faithfully following the Hypnobabies maintenance program. I also drink 100-120 oz of water a day. I have faith this time that I will be much more at ease with whatever happens because I know that I have prepared myself physically and mentally to the best of my ability. I have educated myself as much as possible, and I have a great birth team that supports and understands my desires.

AND I have you ladies Smile Thank you so much for guiding and supporting me along this journey. I am so happy to share it with you.

Melychang's picture
Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 796

Wow, what a birth story! I am even more excited for your hbac!

TiggersMommy's picture
Joined: 02/14/10
Posts: 6043

Welcome to your lodge, Ariel! I've enjoyed stalking you on the September board! The story about how you met your DH is so sweet. I also had a stranger serve as my witness (long story super short- the waitress at our favorite bar)!

I'm sorry your DD's birth was so rough. Just from reading your posts I'm positive you'll have a much better birth experience this time around.

Joined: 09/02/05
Posts: 994

Welcome to your lodge! I enjoyed getting to "know" you through your intro, birth story, etc. You have been on quite the journey. I look forward to reading about this birth story.

krazykat's picture
Joined: 08/11/07
Posts: 1143

Thanks ladies!! I know it was long, so I appreciate everyone who has read it Blum 3 I just couldn't help myself lol!!

kridda_88's picture
Joined: 01/28/08
Posts: 1798

That's one of the craziest birth story's I think i've ever heard. Sorry it was so rough. Story's like that are what's making me not trust doctors and their decisions, and I was going to be a doctor I was preparing for it and everything, the only thing I hadn't quite done yet was start collage but if I hadn't met and married DH when I did I would have been in school learning doctor stuff. lol.

I tried the link but it wouldn't work for me. It took me to the main home page. Sad

You sound a lot more prepared this time and I'm sure you will do great!

ecoberry1's picture
Joined: 01/08/10
Posts: 250

Yay! Ariel's lodge! This is gonna be fun! I absolutely know that you're going to have a successful HBAC. Even if things don't go as planned (do they ever?) this birth is going to be wonderful. You're in such a better place physically and mentally. You're truly an inspiration.

krazykat's picture
Joined: 08/11/07
Posts: 1143

[QUOTE=kridda_88]I tried the link but it wouldn't work for me. It took me to the main home page. Sad
QUOTE]

Oops, maybe you have to be logged in to do it. Let's see if this works:

Those were after 18 weeks of Transformation... starting August 2009 to December 2009.

MrsMangoBabe's picture
Joined: 04/09/07
Posts: 2276

Ariel, I can't imagine that it's possible to be more prepared for a natural birth than you are. We will be your cheerleaders!

krazykat's picture
Joined: 08/11/07
Posts: 1143

"ecoberry1" wrote:

Yay! Ariel's lodge! This is gonna be fun! I absolutely know that you're going to have a successful HBAC. Even if things don't go as planned (do they ever?) this birth is going to be wonderful. You're in such a better place physically and mentally. You're truly an inspiration.

Thanks!! I really liked whoever equated it to a wedding when they said to go ahead and plan for at least 3 things to not happen like you planned. I'm going to definitely keep that one in mind. That way hopefully I can laugh to myself and say "ok, that was number one..." haha!

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

Wow, I can't believe he had to go just as DD was getting out of the hospital. It makes sense too about him not taking a leave right now. I can't believe how many places you have been these past few months since getting your BFP.

WTG on all your transformation stuff before this pregnancy! You look amazing! Sounds like you are one prepared mama for this homebirth, I know things are going to go amazing!

kridda_88's picture
Joined: 01/28/08
Posts: 1798

Nice transformation! You look good! Yeah I think there were about 3 things that didn't go as planned for William's birth so the wedding thing sounds about right. Though I'm one of those people that still gets bugged by it, even if I plan for it to go wrong. I'm glad you are more of the type of person to just laugh about it.

momW's picture
Joined: 09/29/09
Posts: 5634

WOW! That's what comes to mind. Wow, to how you met and fell in love with DH. Wow, to how DD was brought into this world. And wow, on the transformation! So, I think Wow just about sums it up Smile

I have been so happy to follow your journey with this LO and follow your movements across the nation! Now I get to stalk you in your birth lodge. Congratulations sweety, you're almost there!!!!

faeriecurls's picture
Joined: 06/04/08
Posts: 790

Wow - what a birth story! I know how much you have been preparing for this birth - I am sure it will be a completely different experience for you!

nygirl23's picture
Joined: 12/02/07
Posts: 34

*lurker* Smile

I'm going to be cheering you on from the sidelines! Smile
I loved reading your stories so far...you certainly have been through a lot with your DH and his deployments, the birth of your daughter, and your journey towards your HBAC.

I just KNOW that you will have a fantastic birth this time around... and as your birth buddy I can't wait to come and announce it on here! Not too much longer girl!

krazykat's picture
Joined: 08/11/07
Posts: 1143

Ok here are some belly pics for ya!! Can you tell a difference?

And some extras just for fun Biggrin

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

"krazykat" wrote:

Thanks!! I really liked whoever equated it to a wedding when they said to go ahead and plan for at least 3 things to not happen like you planned. I'm going to definitely keep that one in mind. That way hopefully I can laugh to myself and say "ok, that was number one..." haha!

Oh, good - I'm glad that was helpful for someone else! I know it helped me tremendously when I got married, so let's hope it helps at birth time, too.

I enjoyed reading all of your intros, Ariel. I, too, and confident that you are going to have a great birth experience this time around!

Melychang's picture
Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 796

You look so great! I love your belly shots!

jooniper's picture
Joined: 08/27/07
Posts: 780

Totally see a difference! Baby has dropped! You look great:)

kridda_88's picture
Joined: 01/28/08
Posts: 1798

Wow. That's a pretty big drop momma! You are looking good and getting so close!

krazykat's picture
Joined: 08/11/07
Posts: 1143

I am feeling forgotten today...

Some things bothering me...

My last appointment was on Monday. It was supposed to be Tuesday, but my MW needed to reschedule unless I was ok with her assistant doing the appointment. I was totally ok with that, so I agreed to the Monday appointment. It went great and my MW followed up later that day. She said that we would need to schedule another appointment next week but she would have her other assistant (who is now handling the schedule) to call and set the time and day with me. No call yet... though I did just send her a text to see if she still wanted me to come. It's about an hour and a half drive for me, so I like to make sure that Sylvia has care and that sort of thing if I can.

Next is, the assistant who saw me on Monday is wonderful... love her to death. She was the one who promised that they would be here for me when I met her at the appointment with my mom and her saying that meant so much. Well, she also said at that appointment (over 3 weeks ago) that she would come out on a weekend so we could work on some emotional clearing/cleansing before the birth. I was SUPER excited by that as I think I need all the help I can get there. Still haven't set a time for that... Sad

On my appointment on Monday, my MW's assistant asked my EDD. I said September 2nd. That is based on my LMP of November 27, 2009. I was charting, so I am certain that was the first day of my last period. Well, then she says that she remembered it being September 10th in my records. The military did dating u/s (2 of them) b/c my cycles are extremely irregular. Between the u/s and my LMP, I have gotten EDDs of September 2-10. I asked my OB in AK if we could stick with the later date in case we got stuck in a dating game with hospital policy and induction. He agreed. But now that I am with providers that I most likely won't have to face induction with, and planning to birth at home, I would like to go with my LMP EDD. Then when my MW called, I said something to her about it and she said, "oh, I think we have you at September 7th based on your last medical records". I don't know why this is bothering me so bad, but it IS. I feel like nobody will listen to me and that I am being brushed off about it.

And on top of that I have been really snappy with DD. I don't know why, but she is being so fussy today and I can't deal with it. And I feel so BAD for getting frustrated so easily with her.... she's JUST a baby, and I know she hasn't set out to make me miserable today, but it is driving me nutty.

Plus, I haven't heard from DH in several days, and I worry, worry, worry about him. All I know is he is out on the roads of Afghanistan right now, and it makes me so nervous.

I don't know if there is anything I want to do about any of this, but I was just hoping that if I got it all out that it would make this "pit" feeling in my stomach go away Sad

kridda_88's picture
Joined: 01/28/08
Posts: 1798

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time today. I wish I knew how to help you. Sad I would maybe try calling your MW and her assistant that said she would do a fear clearing session and talk to them about it. Let them know how you are feeling and talk to them about the date and try to "make" them listen to you. Maybe her assistant is waiting for you to set up a date with her rather than her call you to set up a date. IDK. Sad

The last two weeks I was pregnant with William DS1 was horrible. He refused to listen to me and was really really whiny. I was tired and down and my temper was very short. I had no patience for any crap at that point. I think that is just one of those miserable pregnant times. I know the last 4 weeks of pregnancy for me are horrible with my body trying to get ready for baby so my hormones are once again out of control.

HUGS!!!! I hope you can get feeling better! Maybe see if someone will watch DD while you take a nice warm, relaxing bath, and listen to some relaxing music or something. Just tune the world out. That always helped me a ton!

jolly11sd's picture
Joined: 02/02/05
Posts: 3327

I'm so sorry you are having a day like that today.
Call the assistant and set up that cleansing appt.! No harm in taking the lead in that and I'm sure it will get done a lot sooner. And yes, if someone can watch DD then arrange it and get a little you time in to clear your mind. Sometimes that makes a world of difference. Its got to be hard being you and her 24/7 and everyone needs a few moments to breath. I swear our kids know when its not the right time to push buttons but do it anyway even if they are too little to be aware of it. I can't imagine all that you do daily with her and also worrying about DH's safetly while he is overseas. Big hugs to you :bigarmhug:

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