*~*~Drake's (drakew) Birth Lodge~*~*

378 posts / 0 new
Last post
Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
*~*~Drake's (drakew) Birth Lodge~*~*

I'm starting this today because I really want to get to be the one who does it:) WELCOME, you made it to the last month!! The new siggy pic is darling!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Welcome to your lodge!

kvo
kvo's picture
Joined: 12/18/06
Posts: 902

Yay! Another mom to stalk Smile

jooniper's picture
Joined: 08/27/07
Posts: 780

Welcome to your lodge!

Joined: 01/18/06
Posts: 1626

YAY Drake!! Welcome to your lodge!

klmj's picture
Joined: 11/24/06
Posts: 535

Welcome to your lodge Drake!!!

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

Yay Drake! Welcome to your lodge!!!! Smile

Melychang's picture
Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 796

Welcome to your lodge!

cmljll's picture
Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 1409

Welcome to your lodge!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Wow I cannot believe I am this far along. This pg has flown by and I am still in a bit of denial that I am having a baby. I have some time to do an introduction now since DH is putting DS to sleep.

I guess I should start with meeting DH, but that feels so long ago and like a different lifetime. We met on an outdoor orientation trip for our college. We actually met while skinny dipping. Definately a way to drop all inabitions. After that we became friends, but I was dating someone else at the time. Well I decided to break it off with the other guy after being away at school or a few months. He was back in Cincinnati and I was in school in Maine. Two weeks after that DH and got together. We did not really date, but just moved on from friends. Over Christmas Break I flew out to CA where he is from and we drove across country together back to Maine. After that I pretty much moved into his dorm room and we have lived together ever since. We spent the next three years of college together and then he proposed to me right before his college graduation. I still had a year left so we had a semi long distance relationship my last year of college and then were married the day after my college graduation on our campus. We had both been accepted to Iowa State for graduate school and had bought a house in Ames, so we moved out here. The first years of our marriage were challenging since I was diagnosed with Graves disease the spring after we were married and I had been really sick for awhile. After trying medications to control it I had my thyroid removed in the fall of 2004. I started to feel better, but it was still an uphill battle. I suffered from chronic anxiety, depression, and mania. In 2005 do some issues with my program I decided to take sometime off school and worked for Americorp at Habitat for Humanity. While working there we decided to TTC. I had always said I did not want kids, but DH had known I would change my mind. He was right. We got pg in October and I was so excited. We had planned on flying out to CA to visit family that year for Christmas. Well when I got off the plane I started spotting. As the eveing progressed I started having cramps. We decided to go to the ER. By that point I was really bleeding. After spending all night in the ER with no one telling us anything they finally told me I had a m/c. I was really devasted and it was bad tining since it was two days before Christmas. After that I decided to quit my job and go back to school. We also decided to just let things take their own course as far as getting pg. Well I got pg that February. Also at that time I found what I really wanted to do and started working towards my current masters in scientific illustration. DH was also finishing up his masters and that fall got offered a PhD position at Iowa State, so we decided to stay. My pg was pretty uneventful except the horrid m/s from 6 weeks till 15 weeks. I was throwing up 10 times a day and lost 12 pounds. We decided to go with a local mw who did hbs. We really clicked with her and after doing more research having a hb made sense with my anxiety issues and feaqr of hospitals. While pg with DS all my anxiety and hormonal issues went away, which was a red flag for me. DS was born at 41 weeks on November 17th. I had known from the beginning this was going to be his birthday.

Birth story on next page...

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Hawkes birth story:
I had been having on/ off contractions for days that did not get worse or regular, so I had begun to just ignore them. On Friday the 17th I was to be 41 weeks so my mw wanted me to go in for a BPP and time was starting to tick down. My dad was coming in on the 20th so I really wanted to have him before that, but still was not getting ansy. On Thursday evening the contractions were a bit stronger and felt like they might be going somewhere. I had a glass of wine took some Tylenol and they were not phased. I called my mw to let her know what was going on. I decided to get in the bath and then go to bed. In the night I woke up twice to some more painful contractions, but fell back asleep. Then at 2:00 I woke up to a sharp pain and jumped out of bed. The next thing I knew my water had broken and I ran to the bathroom. Finn called the mw and she wanted to know the color of the fluid. It was cloudy, but not green so we were happy. Shortly after my water broke the contractions got very intense, I had use all of my concentration to get through them. Finn drew me a bath and I got in, that helped a bit, but they were getting stronger and closer together. We called the mw again and she asked if I wanted her to come, I said yes. She lives almost two hours away and I was so worried she would not make it in time. At this point the contractions were pretty unbearable, nothing helped to relieve them at all. I wanted to get out of the tub and go to the bed which was tough since I did not even have time between contractions to walk the short distance. Once in bed Finn got behind me and helped me work through them. They were now coming one on top of each other and I was shaking uncontrollably. Around 4 the mw showed up. She checked me and I was at a six. She said she felt Hawkes was posterior and not in a good position. She had me get on my hands and knees for a couple of contractions and then on the birth ball. These were the most painful contractions yet and now I had a lot of pelvic pain inbetween as well. When she timed the contractions they were coming a minute apart and a minute long. After awhile she asked if I wanted to be checked again, I said yes. In two hours I had only progressed a centimeter. I wanted to get back in the tub, so she talked to me about my options while in the tub. She was happy to let me labor as long as I needed as long as both of us were doing well. Hawkes was doing great, his heat tones never dropped below 140 even during the contractions, I however was starting to doubt my ability to do this. She asked if I wanted to try some phenegran just to relax me and I agreed. She gave me a shot and two Tylenol with Codine. This did not take any of the pain away, but allowed me to relax and sleep between contractions. About an hour and a half later I started getting the urge to push. I got out of the tub and onto the bed so she could check me. I was almost complete and just had a lip. She said i could start pushing when I felt like it. I felt so much better now, the contractions were further apart and more tolerable. For the next hour or so I just let the contractions come over me and occasoinally pushed if it felt right. Then the contractions got stronger and so did the urge to push. I was on my side at this point with Finn holding up my leg during the contractions. I pushed like this for a bit, but it was not very effective and Hawkes was still posterior. The mw had me get more on my back with Finn supporting my legs. The mw had me grip my legs to help push. At this point he started to turn in the birth canal, that really hurt. He got about part way around and stopped at transverse. After another hour and a half of pushing he was just starting to crown. He had not tucked his head so I was getting the full circumference of his head. Rather than trying to support my perinium the mw had to have both her hands in me to help push me aside so he could get out. At this point I just felt constant almost unbearable pain and was just read to get him out. Thw mw said she never asks this, but she asked if I wanted an episiotomy, she really thought he would not be able to make it. I was so out of it I asked if it would hurt. Then another contraction came on and I was ready to push again. She said if he was not out after this one she would cut. I was determined to get him out with this contraction. I pushed with all my might and his head finally came out. The mw barely had a secound to check whether or not the cord was around his neck before I pushed out the rest of him. Now that was a great feeling. He immediately cried and was on my chest. I kept saying how perfect he was and the mw said, "Look at that head. I just can't believe what you did. I mean, that was the toughest push I've had in years. You know, you are one incredible woman." He latched on right away and shortly after I delivered the placenta. Then I gushed blood, the mw said she thinks I lost about 1 liter. But she managed to stop it and I was fine, but very weak. After she stiched up my small tear both Hawkes and I went in the bath. He weighed 8lbs 5oz, was 21 and 1/4 inches long and had a head circumference of 35 cm. It was so nice to be at home and crawl into my own bed after.

So while I got the natural hb I wanted, his birth was way more difficult than I had expected and it took me a long time to comes to terms with how painful and tough it was. It was not the awe inspiring, empowering exsperience I had expected. I feel now though that a lot of that had to do with his positioning. Even my mw said it was a toughre birth than usual. Do to my birth exsperience and the exstreme m/s I was really not sure if I wanted to go through with it all again, but I did want Hawkes to have a sibling. Also I had really bad pp anxiety disorder which took awhile to work through. I ended up on progestrone cream which really helped balance me out. I suspect I have some hormonal imbalance issues since I am more even while pg. After Hawkes was born I had a non hormonal IUD put in. We were not planning on even thinking about another until after we were both finished with our degrees. Well in the fall of 2008 I started feeling like I was pg again. I took a test and it was positive. I took a bunch more and all very faint positives. We were totally freaked out since I had the IUD in still. I went to my mw and had it removed. Another month passed and I started having some spotting. When I went back to my mw she looked at my HCG levels and it turned out I was never pg. I had a ton of tests run to see why I had had the positive tests. Everything came up fine and we still do not know what happened. I had the positive tests, tons of symptoms and a delayed period but was not pg. Now we had taken the IUD out and my mw was out of non hormonal IUDs do to a supply issue. I went on the ring. The summer of 2009 I was having a horrible reaction to the ring so went off. I was away from DH at the time since he did field research all summer. Well when we got back together we were not that careful and I ended up pg again. Not what we had planned since this was DH's last year of his PhD and I was supposed to be finsihing my masters. I decided to just focus on getting my coursework done and not my creative component.

More later have to go comfort Hawkes.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Wel he seems to be fine now with DH, so I will finish up.

So this pg has been also pretty uneventful. I did get m/s again, but not as bad as with Hawkes. Only throwing up 3-4 times a day. The annoying thing was unlike with Hawkes it has never gone away just lessened. We went back to the same mw who delivered Hawkes since we have a great relationship with her. She has actually remained mine and Hawkes NP in between, so it was not much of a switch. It took me awhile in this pg to come to terms with my past birth and realize that it will not necessarily repeat itslef. I looked into hypnobabies, but decided I was not sure it was for me and it was more than I could afford. I allow myslef one spendy out of pocket birth thing each pg and decided this time I would rather put my money towards having my placenta encapsulated due to my past pp issues. At the twenty week u/s we found out I was having a girl, even though I knew it all along it was nice to have it confirmed. I was super excited since I have always wanted a girl. Dh took a bit more to come around, since he was pretty freaked out at first. I admit I have not been doing much to prepare this pg like I did last time. Not sure if that is because I am in denial, have so much going on, or I eel at ease. I keep having this visions that come to me of how the birth will go though. it was because of these I decided I wanted a waterbirth, I just kept envisioning the birth that way. So I ordered a kiddie pool and the waterbirth kit. Still need to test it all out, not sure where it will fit in our tiny house.

So now I am at the end of the pg and torn between ready to have the baby and wanting her to be late. I am due May 8th and the semester ends on May 7th. My mom is coming for the month of May, so it would be nice to wait until then. Also we are waiting to hear on a job for DH and then we will know whether or not we are putting our house on the market in May or not. Right now is just limboland between the end of the pg, not knowing where we will be living come August, and DH finishing his PhD. It is kind of crazyland here. Another thing is that I have a really important conference April 24-26th in Eastern Iowa, so I would like to hold out until after then. It is a conference for the Society of Children's Book Writers and Illustrators and I have signed up to have my manuscript reviewed and a portfolio review. For my masters I am writing and illustrating a children's guide to strams for the fifth grade level. Children's book illustration is really what I want to do. this conference could be really important for my career so I really do not want to miss it. It is a three hour drive away, and my mw is fine with me going, so we will see. I just have this gut feeling she will be early, so we will see. I am feeling about where I was at 38 weeks with Hawkes in that I am hainvg loose bowels and random contrations. I had three weeks of this with him. Also she has dropped, so who knows. Wow this is really long, so yeah to you if you made it through.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Hi Drake! :wavehello: Welcome to your lodge! Thanks for all of the stories. Smile

OneLuckyScoop's picture
Joined: 01/07/08
Posts: 145

Welcome to your lodge!!

MrsMangoBabe's picture
Joined: 04/09/07
Posts: 2276

Just wanted to say welcome to your lodge!

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Welcome to your lodge! Enjoying your stories so far...keep 'em coming Smile

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

So the last couple of days have been weird. Thursday night I woke up in the middle of the night and felt like I could breath and my throat was closed up and terrible heartburn which I have not had this pg. I was so tired, but every time I lay down it came back. So I got up and went to try to sleep more upright. finally figured out it was a panic attack, so worked on calming myself down. My brain finally let me process what was happening, which was a ear of going before 37 weeks and not getting my hb. After I had processed that I fell back asleep. Then I woke up really nauseous and did not go to class, but I was fine by mid day. I just kept having this feeling that I was not ready for this baby yet, but I needed to get ready. Not really stuff for the baby, but that my house is not ready for a hb. So I spent the day trying to clear stuff out of my dining room. Am feeling better today, but who knows. The number seven keeps popping into my mind on this birth, so who knows. I am 37 weeks on the 17th and the full moon is the night after the 27th. So we will see.

jooniper's picture
Joined: 08/27/07
Posts: 780

I also have pp anxiety issues, so I hear you there. And my first labor was natural but also much harder than I thought it would be due to the baby's position. Hopefully these next babies will be a bit more agreeable:).
Sounds like your body is starting to send you "Get ready" signals... how exciting!

faeriecurls's picture
Joined: 06/04/08
Posts: 790

Welcome to your lodge! I've enjoyed reading your intro. I have always suffered from anxiety disorder and some depression - it has been so different since I got pregnant - I never considered the hormonal imbalance being a part of it - but I know I have a low progesterone issue anyway since coming off BCP... something to think about.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Yeah my progesterone is what is the lowest for me and being on a specially compounded progesterone cream really does help. Also the hormones that are in BCP are not the same chemical make up as our natural hormones, so they can actually have more detrimental affects on women with hormonal imbalances. I am having my placenta encapsulated this time to see if that helps.

abkinsey's picture
Joined: 07/13/06
Posts: 323

Welcome to your lodge! I'm really enjoying your stories and reading about your experiences. Smile

Melychang's picture
Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 796

Your birth story was intense, TFS!

I am excited to see how the number 7 plays into your birth.

Joined: 05/24/05
Posts: 944

Excited to follow your next home birth! I feel like we've been around each other for such a long time (indeed it's been over 4 years!). I really enjoyed reading your intro and hearing about Hawkes' birth, I didn't really remember it. I hope everything goes smoothly for you this time, and I'll be keeping fingers crossed for an anterior positioned little girl. Smile

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

TFS your birth story and intro! I'm excited to hear about your next homebirth!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Here it is early in the morning and I am up again. Much of this pg I have been up by around 5, which is weird for me since I am not a morning person. I am wondering if this is when I will go into labor or she will be born?

This weekend was interesting, but pretty productive. I told Finn I did not feel I had much time left, which lit a fire under him. He knows my intuition is usually really good. So we got most of the projects done in the bedroom, Libby's "room" (our closet) finished, the cosleeper up and set up, some of the garage cleared out, one freezer cleaned out, and some other little things. Only two set backs. One was that the trim paint we bought to touch up is not the same color white, so now we need to repaint all the trim but decided to hold off on that. And the other really annoying one is the cosleeper mattress had a giant spot of black mold so had to be thrown away and the replacement mattress said they were out of stock. Need to call and find out if they will be stocked soon, if not we will just glue a piece of foam to a piece of particle board.

Now if this week we could just get the dining room cleared of boxes and the living cleared of stuff for the garage sale I will feel much better. Then I can do a trial run of my birth pool.

The not so great part was I had a series of painful contractions Saturday night, but luckily they went away ater taking some tylenol. Also Finn was in a horrible mood all day Sunday and it was making Hawkes really act out. He took some medication for an upset stomach on Saturday night and we found out the hard way they make his ADD meds not work and make him more depressed, which for him means he is irritable.

Another good note we had our monthly neighborhood potluck on Sunday and I asked my neighbor if she would come be with Hawkes while I was in labor and he wanted to stay. She said yes and that she would drop off their schedule. I feel really good about this, I think she will feel good to have in my birthing space. We have really gotten to know our neighbors in the last year and I am glad we will be here for the birth and after since it is a good support system.

Joined: 01/18/06
Posts: 1626

Refresh my memory...what kind of birth pool do you have again?? And awesome that you have such a great neighbor!!

rainymama's picture
Joined: 08/24/07
Posts: 409

Hi Drake! I have loved reading your stories about how you met and especially Hawkes' birth story. We spent 3 years in Des Moines and LOVE Iowa. I would move back there in a flash if there were a job for DH there. I am hoping for a better positioning for your little girl. My last one was posterier and asynclitic and yeah, wow, that made it much tougher. You guys really got a lot done this weekend. I hope you can get everything all set for your tub to arrive and then really feel like you are ready!
GL with your portfolio!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I just have an inflatable kiddie pool, which is why I really want to test it out sooner rather than later. I tried to get the aquarium one, but everywhere was sold out except some place that wanted to charge me 15 dollars in shipping, so I got one that had the same stats and seemed comparable. I wish we could afford a nicer one, but money is too tight.

Yeah Iowa has grown on me. It was not my favorite before kids, but after kids I think Ames is a great town to be in and it is nice having Des Moines so close. My mw is actually in Des Moines.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I'm glad you got some things done this weekend, and am SO excited to hear all about your next birth!!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Had a good uneventful appointment yesterday. Everything looks good and I am GBS negative which is great. I am feeling way better this pg than I did with DS. Not sure if it is because it is spring rather than late fall, I am not anemic, I have a better diet, or i it is because I am carrying differently. But it is nice. I have a conference next week three hours away so I hope she holds put. My mw just told me to leave if I have any labor signs and they are going to check me before I go. Now I just need to get my birth supplies since I am term on Saturday.

rainymama's picture
Joined: 08/24/07
Posts: 409

You'll get it done!!! Nothing like a deadline! Glad you had an uneventful appt and GBS-. That's always a relief!

cactuswren's picture
Joined: 10/19/09
Posts: 4658

Congrats on uneventful! Going to a conference at term sounds quite exhausting to me, but I'm glad you're feeling well enough to be up for it. Good luck and I hope baby stays put for you until you are ready for her!

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

Drake, I hope it all works out well for you next week! And yay for GBS-!

abkinsey's picture
Joined: 07/13/06
Posts: 323

Glad to hear that you are GBS-. It sounds like things are going great! Biggrin

faeriecurls's picture
Joined: 06/04/08
Posts: 790

Yay for GBS-! You are a brave woman going to a conference at 37 weeks - they are usually draining when you aren't pregnant!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Yeah I am actually really excited for the conference since it is my first one in children's illustration. I have a review of my manuscript by a professional and a portfolio review, so I think it will be good to get feedback. I am just not looking forward to the three hour drive.

Got all my birth supplies today except drop cloths, feeling better now. I feel good for birth food, but not sure what to have on hand for attendants. I will make sure I have coffee and I bought some muffin mixes. Not sure what else though. It needs to be stuff that anyone can put together and not highly perishable since last time I did not have early labor, just active and DH will be with me. If she comes before my mom is here there will be no one to run to the store or make anything. Any suggestions?

Joined: 01/18/06
Posts: 1626

I have stocked up on granola bars lately. Checking for sales and whatnot. They might not be homemade but they are tasty, healthy and easy for anyone to grab. (Also great for postpartum when nursing and only have one arm available for most of the day). Nut mix or dried berry mix in bulk is also convenient, healthy and energizing that stores well.

Another thing is breakfast cereal. Something hearty like miniwheats or Vector or what the heck, Lucky Charms are made with whole grain now! Smile

Glad to hear it's all coming together! I love following along another homebirth mama's lodge.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Congrats on the GBS-. That is great news!

Granola bars sound like a good attendant snack. You could also get some frozen bagels (like Lenders, they thaw easily) and a block of cream cheese. As long as you keep it sealed it won't go bad. I love those frozen toaster pastries, too. I know they're not healthy but MMMM if I were your attendant, that's what I'd reach for first. Wink

faeriecurls's picture
Joined: 06/04/08
Posts: 790

Brownies and a lot of cakes are freezable and will defrost pretty quickly!

One thing my mom used to do was make certain things (like macaroni and cheese or some sort of freezable casserole) and put it in muffin tins and freeze it, then she would put the frozen portions in a freezer bag for us to eat after school or whenever - they defrost really quick and you can pop them in the microwave or toaster. I'm too tired to remember exactly what else it was, but I will try to remember some tonight.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Just an update

Woke up this morning at 5:30 nauseous and had some loose stools. Then I started contracting. Well they were getting stronger so I too two tylenol and got in the bath. That made them less intense, but they did not go away. Then I was tired so after Finn got Hawkes to school I took a nap. Woke up and they still had not stopped. They are not in a pattern and not painful, but still there. They feel more like pressure lower in my abdomen and my butt than anything else. Decided not to go to class just in case and trying to get all the last minute stuff done around the house. These just feel different then what I have been having, so we will see.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Oh, how exciting! Now will are you close enough to term to have your HB today? Or does baby need to wait until tomorrow?

How are you feeling, otherwise? KUP!

faeriecurls's picture
Joined: 06/04/08
Posts: 790

Hmmmm - exciting news! Maybe your LO is not looking forward to a 3 hour drive? KUP!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Sounds promising, KUP!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Still having contractions. They are getting a little bit more painful, but still not bad. Just trying to get stuff done. It is just interesting timing since both Finn and Hawkes are sick. I think my mw would probably be okay with me having the hb since it is now less than 12 hours away from 37 weeks and I am still not in active labor.

On another note feeling really guilty right now about Hawkes. He has been having a really rough couple of days. He is really sensative and has some anxiety problems and is not handling all of the change so well. He is really worried something is going to happen to me. Two nights ago he could not all asleep he was so worried, yesterday he had three pee accidents and came home from school early since he was in tears, and today I got a call from his school that he was acting out. None of this is normal for him. I actually think it will be better after she is here and he knows mommy is all right. I just feel so bad he is this upset. Oh and last night I was sleeping in his bed. Well he woke up in the night (he was sleeping with Finn) and went out to find me and when I was not in the living room he burst into tears thinking I was gone. He has a really strong fear of abondonment. It is so hard. I just made an appointment with him for a child physchologist, but it is not until May 6. I wish we could have gotten in earlier. When his teacher called today it just had me so upset.

jooniper's picture
Joined: 08/27/07
Posts: 780

Sounds like things are moving along! You are one day further along your pregnancy than I have ever been- D came at 36 weeks, 5 days (7 lbs, 11 oz).
That's so sad about Hawkes- I hope he can relax a bit (I have anxiety issues too) before the baby comes and that it's a positive experience for him.

cmljll's picture
Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 1409

(((((HUGS))))) That must be so hard to deal with right now:-( Ethan had a tougher time when I was pregnant than when Gabriel got here. Hope it's the same with Hawkes! I would suggest some AP stuff but I'm sure you've been doing that already!

KUP about Hawkes and whether those contractions go anywhere!

Marite13's picture
Joined: 08/07/09
Posts: 3368

I'm so sorry to hear that Hawkes is having such a rough time, Drake! Sad Hugs for you all!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well tings seem to be picking up a bit. I am still not in any pain, but am having a ton of pressure down low and some in my butt. I have also been getting twinges in my cervix all day. Just need to insih folding her clothes and thinking about getting the tub set up then I think I will try to get some sleep. Finn is nesting by making muffins and cookies and Hawkes is asleep. We will see what tonight brings.

Melychang's picture
Joined: 05/31/06
Posts: 796

Exciting!

That is tough about Hawkes, I hope he adjusts well to his new little sister and dotes on her. He sounds like a really loving boy!

faeriecurls's picture
Joined: 06/04/08
Posts: 790

I hope his new sisters arrival helps Hawkes! Sorry he is having such a rough time right now.

abkinsey's picture
Joined: 07/13/06
Posts: 323

I am thinking about you. It sounds like things are picking up. How exciting!

Hawkes sounds like such a sweety. Hopefully he'll be feeling better once the baby gets here. You're such a good mama to get him an appointment with the psychologist, too. Smile

Pages