*~*~Jennie's (selkiemom) Birth Lodge~*~*

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*~*~Jennie's (selkiemom) Birth Lodge~*~*

I'm getting this up a day early cause I want to be the one to get to start it:) Hope I don't get in trouble! I'm so excited to see how this birth goes for you, and can't wait to follow your story again!

HockeyTownMom's picture
Joined: 05/20/02
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Welcome to your lodge Jennie!!!!

MrsMangoBabe's picture
Joined: 04/09/07
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welcome to your lodge, Jennie!

and lol, Vanessa, you're not going to get in trouble from me, so who is going to punish you, YOURSELF?

Joined: 03/16/15
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Whooo Hoooo!! Another Jennie lodge to follow :)! Congratulations!!!

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Wow, what a surprise to get my lodge slightly early! I was almost counting down the days until Sunday when I turn 36 weeks. Thank you!!!

Just a quick post to thank you all for your support. I'll come back for more later.

This is baby #3. After 2 boys I'm getting a girl! I'm thrilled and terrified all at once.

I have done absoluletly nothing (and trust me, I do mean NOTHING) to prepare. But next week is my last official week of work. I always find I need an unofficial week to wrap everything up. And then I will be jonesing on the baby prep.

I'm an all natural birthing mom by preference. I don't want to do anything risky, but I know what works best for me. I prefer an "unassisted but not unattended" birth. That means, I don't want any help from the midwife during birth (no coaching, no counterpressure during crowning, etc.), but I do want a professional on hand in case of an emergency.

Brief warning. I'm a miserable pregnant woman. I would choose labor and delivery over pregnancy any day.

Oh, yeah, this baby's temporary name is Little Fox. The name is all picked out. Actually, she 'told' me her first name, and dh and I have accepted her choice. I always liked the name, but I don't know that I'd have chosen it as 'the one.' But that is what she wants, so she is getting it. And the middle name is one we picked while engaged 10 years ago for a girl and love. The name, however, will not be announced until we have a naming ceremony 1-2 weeks after she is born.

spacewoman's picture
Joined: 04/16/09
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Welcome to your lodge, Jennie! Yay for December moms!!

Joined: 03/16/15
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Welcome. I am excited for another one of your lodges.

cmljll's picture
Joined: 11/28/06
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Welcome to your lodge! I knew you were only a few days away from it but I'm happy you got it early:-) Hey, were you ever a mod on this board?

Joined: 03/16/15
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Ooops, hehe I guess I was a couple days early....but I'm still glad I did it I've been counting the weeks and then days for your lodge! Guess I got a little too excited and couldn't wait just 2 more WHOLE days:) Sounds like your keeping you self busy with work for now, that should keep your mind off things, for this week anyway!

Joined: 03/16/15
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"cmljll" wrote:

Welcome to your lodge! I knew you were only a few days away from it but I'm happy you got it early:-) Hey, were you ever a mod on this board?

Yes, I was for about a year. It was fun. Smile

Joined: 03/16/15
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"graysonsmom" wrote:

Ooops, hehe I guess I was a couple days early....but I'm still glad I did it I've been counting the weeks and then days for your lodge! Guess I got a little too excited and couldn't wait just 2 more WHOLE days:) Sounds like your keeping you self busy with work for now, that should keep your mind off things, for this week anyway!

You made my week by starting it early! I was wondering if anyone would remember to even start it at all on Sunday, and then you started it early and said you were excited to do so.

Joined: 03/16/15
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I'm glad I got to make your week, in your current state some women are a little harder to make happy:) Have a woderful weekend hun!

MrsMangoBabe's picture
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I'm excited for you to be getting a girl! I hope her birth goes wonderfully for you.

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Today I'm 36 weeks. That's 28 days left until my due date. (But who's counting?)

In previous pregnancies I never felt contractions until labor, but this time I've felt a bunch. At my 35 week appointment I asked for an internal check just to make sure. I'd been having trouble with the Turkish dentist and couldn't figure out if I was starting to dilate. (Long story made short: the Turkish dentist is a euphemism for self-examination.) The midwife didn't want to do it and asked why I wanted to know. I told her I knew it didn't mean too much, but if for some crazy reason I was already 4 cm, then I'd rest for the next 2 weeks rather than go to work. So she checked, and I was anterior but high and closed tight. That is probably the first internal check I asked for in 3 pregnancies.

I've mostly had to work from home, but I plan to go to the office at least once and hopefully twice this week. After that, I think maternity leave will start officially. I always need more time to finish wrapping up everything, but at least I can start to tell people that I'm out so nothing new comes up.

Midwife appointment tomorrow. I'll give the last of my paperwork and my birth plan. I'm still seeing a midwife at the birth center. I'd prefer a home birth, but I haven't been able to find one. And then there's the insurance issue.

cmljll's picture
Joined: 11/28/06
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Yay for 36 weeks! It's really creeping up on us... I had been meaning to ask you the mod question since I first saw you on the Dec board. I think you were a mod when I was pregnant with Ethan or right after:-)

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"cmljll" wrote:

Yay for 36 weeks! It's really creeping up on us... I had been meaning to ask you the mod question since I first saw you on the Dec board. I think you were a mod when I was pregnant with Ethan or right after:-)

I remember you from then. Smile

It was fun, but it's time consuming and a volunteer effort.

cmljll's picture
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I have a lot of respect for anyone who is or has been a mod! Definitely takes more commitment than I can give...

It's great that you can still work a bit from home! Travel must be getting more difficult. I know it is for me!

Angela1MV's picture
Joined: 05/19/09
Posts: 51

"selkiemom" wrote:

Oh, yeah, this baby's temporary name is Little Fox. The name is all picked out. Actually, she 'told' me her first name, and dh and I have accepted her choice. I always liked the name, but I don't know that I'd have chosen it as 'the one.' But that is what she wants, so she is getting it. And the middle name is one we picked while engaged 10 years ago for a girl and love. The name, however, will not be announced until we have a naming ceremony 1-2 weeks after she is born.

I love the naming ceremony idea! Did you do one with the boys? I'd love to hear more about the tradition and what you have planned, if that's an okay thing to share (I'm really pretty clueless to the custom - lol)

Joined: 03/16/15
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Midwife update.

Negative protein and urine. Blood pressure 110/70. 37 cm fundus. Baby's heartbeat was 135 (she was asleep). She is head down with her back pointing to my right side. My weight is up 35 lbs. total since conception (only 2 lbs. this past week). Although my midwife is now giving the GBS swab at 37 weeks for most moms because the CDC says it should be done within 5 weeks of delivery, I asked for it to be done today just to get it over with and she agreed because I've never gone past 40 weeks with a baby so I should be within that range.

I handed over the last of my paperwork to the center and my birth plan which I said was basically the same as for my last birth. I'd used the same one which I'd saved on the computer and just edited it. I also said that it looked long (7 pages), but that was because I had separate sections with a lot of redundancy in each for birth center, hospital, and c-section.

We met with Cathy P, the director, so this was my chance to ask my big questions. It was a really good meeting. I said I needed to mention 2 separate issues to her, and I wanted to address them head-on. I said we love this center and you know it, but we would really like a home birth if at all possible. She said she's always known that about us, and she said it in that nice way. I said I know you've had people in the past who pretend they are coming in and that labor "went too fast" and they don't show up, but we don't want to do that. My labor does go fast, and we will have a kit on hand in case, but that is not the plan. We either want to plan a homebirth or plan to be here. Cathy appreciated our straightforward discussion. She said the only homebirth midwives she knew in CT didn't come this far west. I said I'd looked for them in my county in NY, but there seem to be none. She said as far as she knows, there really aren't, but keep calling around, and if I decide to transfer they will understand it is being done in the nicest way. I also said that we'd have to see about insurance because I don't think my insurance would cover it, so honestly it is sort of a long shot that we will end up with a homebirth. She said she understood completely and whatever we decided was fine. I asked if there were any possibility of us paying for their insurance to cover them for a homebirth, and she said she wished, but they just can't get the malpractice insurance. She said that three organizations are such watchdogs on them, that they can't even let a mom who gives birth 2 days before being 37 weeks pregnant be in their center or it would be closed down. And she said that when she retires from the center, she may consider being a freelance homebirth midwife. But at the center, she just can't. Anyway, it was an open and honest discussion, and I think she 'got' exactly what we were saying.

I also said that the 2nd issue was my comfort level with Sarah. I said I liked her, agreed with her perspective, etc, but I just don't feel comfortable birthing with her now. I said she point blank said she would not feel comfortable letting us do our own thing during the birth as long as everything is going well. And she is a very directive personality. I said, I don't want that, and I'd expressed concern last midwife visit to Cathy G. who may have mentioned it to her (Cathy P.), and Cathy P. said yes, she did mention it. I said that Sarah said she'd be urging me to eat and drink during labor, and I said, I don't want her urging me to do anything. I said that Sarah asked if I was preparing my kids for the noises I'd make during birth, and I said you Cathy P. know from first hand experience that I'm basically silent during birth. Cathy P. said as long as we were asking for the same thing as last time and the midwife could have us in sight, she was fine with what we wanted. She knew us and our preference, and she was happy to support that. I said that during Ridley's birth, Katy was standing next to me, and even that felt too close. I also said I knew they had to monitor me and would jump in during an emergency, and really the reason we were at the center was only in case of an emergency so we understood and supported all that. She said that she would talk to both Cathy G. and Sarah and explain that we really did know what we wanted, that I'm telling the truth about what I'm like during birth, and that it was ok to let us do that. And she said that if worse came to worse, she would try to have either her or Cathy G. on duty for when I gave birth. I said that we realize it's hard for someone trained to do a job not to do it during a situation, and the more experience someone has, the harder it is not to do it. I said that where I really need help is in the medical stuff, particularly the stitching afterwards if necessary.

The conversation could not have gone better. She totally was supportive of what we wanted and appreciative of our upfront discussion. So that was all good. I said we call it "unassisted but not unattended," and she said she really liked that as if she never heard it before. She reassured us that she would talk to everyone there and said "you're not wackos, you just want something particular, and it's not what most people want."

It's looking more and more like I will have the birth center birth rather than a home birth, and I admit to some sadness about that. It's safer than an unattended birth, and I don't want to do anything unsafe. But staying home would be really special if we could find a way to do it.

MrsMangoBabe's picture
Joined: 04/09/07
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I'm glad to hear your conversation went so well. I think it's great that you recognize what you need from your caregiver and are so upfront about making sure you get it. I *think* I am the kind of person who likes people with me during birth, but if I were the type that wanted to be alone, I would still want a professional there in case some kind of medical attention is necessary.

cmljll's picture
Joined: 11/28/06
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So glad it went well! Sorry it looks like you're not going to be able to get your homebirth though:-(

spacewoman's picture
Joined: 04/16/09
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I'm so glad you had a nice appointment.

I hope someday every woman has the resources and support to choose home birth.

Joined: 03/16/15
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I hope you can find a miracle midwife to get a home birth, but if not I'm sure it will still be a magical experiance. Sounds like your doing well, I hope your last week at work is smooth for you.

Joined: 03/16/15
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I think I've got to start with the daily affirmations again. Sometimes I get up from my chair at my computer where I'm doing work and find it hard to walk.

Today my two boys didn't have school because of Veteran's Day, so my dh and I decided it was a good day to give them dolls we bought for them to practice being big brothers. Last night we told the boys that we had a surprise for them. We bought a baby doll for each boy and a set of baby doll gear for them to play with.


Edward and Ridley with their dolls


Ridley puts his doll down for a nap


Edward gives momo to his baby doll (I nursed Edward for 4 1/2 years and he remembers it fondly)

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"Angela1MV" wrote:

I love the naming ceremony idea! Did you do one with the boys? I'd love to hear more about the tradition and what you have planned, if that's an okay thing to share (I'm really pretty clueless to the custom - lol)

Angela, sure, I'm happy to share that.

We had naming ceremonies for both boys. Each one got an animal name which was used through pregnancy and after birth until the naming ceremony. Edward was "little seal," and Ridley was "little owl." The naming ceremony involves announcing the name out loud three times (the first time the name is ever said out loud), putting water and salt on them, taking their measure, and presenting them to the four quarters. Probably more than that, but I might be forgetting. During the ceremony we have each guest light a candle and make a wish for the baby, and we pass the baby around and have each member introduce himself or herself to the baby and use the baby's newly announced name. Our boys have 2 name keepers (godparents) who make sure to keep the name straight if anyone ever questions it and who will take the kids and raise them if anything ever happens to us so that we can't.

After the ceremony we eat. We do not put the name on the cake until after it is announced so that nobody can peek.

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Too cute about the dolls. DS game home from school the other day and told us about playing with the dolls and giving them a bottle. We asked what do baby's have in bottles and he said milk. We thought it was funny since he never took a bottle and is still nursing. Funny how they pick things up.

The naming ceremony sounds really nice. Where does that tradition come from? Is it associated with anything?

HockeyTownMom's picture
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"selkiemom" wrote:

Angela, sure, I'm happy to share that.

We had naming ceremonies for both boys. Each one got an animal name which was used through pregnancy and after birth until the naming ceremony. Edward was "little seal," and Ridley was "little owl." The naming ceremony involves announcing the name out loud three times (the first time the name is ever said out loud), putting water and salt on them, taking their measure, and presenting them to the four quarters. Probably more than that, but I might be forgetting. During the ceremony we have each guest light a candle and make a wish for the baby, and we pass the baby around and have each member introduce himself or herself to the baby and use the baby's newly announced name. Our boys have 2 name keepers (godparents) who make sure to keep the name straight if anyone ever questions it and who will take the kids and raise them if anything ever happens to us so that we can't.

After the ceremony we eat. We do not put the name on the cake until after it is announced so that nobody can peek.

That is so great! My dh would laugh at me if I approached him with this idea - he's a non believer in anything, and likes to tease me being a witch. lol He's a dork. And a cousin of mine thought Wiccan's/Pagan's worshipped the devil until a month ago when I enlightened him. :roll:

I love the doll idea, Dylan is such a boy though, if it's not Mater, he's not interested.

Angela1MV's picture
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That sounds like such a neat ceremony! I love the importance it places on the child's name. Is using the animal name also part of the custom or something unique to your family? Do you ever think the kids display personality traits similar to their animals?

spacewoman's picture
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Those pics of your boys are so cute! They're going to be great big brothers!!

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"Angela1MV" wrote:

That sounds like such a neat ceremony! I love the importance it places on the child's name. Is using the animal name also part of the custom or something unique to your family? Do you ever think the kids display personality traits similar to their animals?

Angela, we're Pagan. We have an oral history (not written like many other religions), so many of the customs are different family to family and come from eclectic backgrounds.

I do think that the boys show some signs of being like their totem animals. Edward was supposed to be a Scorpio, and we chose a seal thinking it's a cute sea mammal. He was born in the sign of Libra, but it makes total sense that an animal which can balance things so well would fit well with a Libra. We never taught Edward to share. He just always knew how to do that.

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I guess my affirmation for the day is: Everything cannot happen all at once. Take one thing at a time.

I've been so tired today. I had a big day at the office yesterday, and I think I overdid it. But I did get some stuff done today too related to work. I told dh that I think we have to start getting ready for baby even if I'm not totally wrapped up with my work. I'd hoped to be done with work and then focus on baby. I guess life just isn't like that, is it?

Eating has been hard. Food just doesn't fit in there any more.

Angela1MV's picture
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:bigarmhug:

I'm sorry yesterday was so rough! Taking one thing at a time definitely sounds like the way to go. Sending lots of positive vibes and hoping that you have a much better, relaxing weekend! Smile

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It's so fun getting know all of my "moms" around here! It never would have occoured to me not to "teach" my kids to share, but now that you say I guess it is natural that some kids / personalities would know how on there own! I hope your work slows down soon so that you have a chance to focus on little fox before the birth.

Joined: 03/16/15
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Today was my last day before I turn "full term." It's exciting to have that behind me!

Ridley was sick all this week with a throw-up virus. No fever though which is good news for me because of how fevers can possibly harm a baby in utero. Edward wasn't feeling well all today, and tonight he threw up too. My au pair had an unsettled stomach all day, but she didn't throw up. So, it's looking like this coming week will be full of sickies. Yuck. It means caring for kids and possibly not having childcare either. Not what we need when we haven't started preparing for baby yet.

I've hired a birth photographer, and today she came over. She had planned a maternity shoot, but also we just needed to meet and review her contract. Of all the intimate photo shoots possible, birth pretty much takes the cake! Today was super rainy. We met, and she wanted to review the contract first. (I'd told her to expect me to go over it line by line and request a lot of changes - that is always important to me.) We took a lot of time with the contract, and I even made several professional suggestions to her for use with future clients which she really appreciated. It was too dark to take the photos by the time we'd done with that. We arranged for her to come back on Tuesday for the maternity shoot. But I also gave her a tour of our house. This helped her to think about the lighting that she might have to work with. And I talked about the position I like to give birth in. Lots of good stuff for preparing.

And the affirmation for the day (I'm thinking of my sick kids as I write this, but it applies to other situations too): Sometimes you have to get out of your own way when life has other plans.

mandi04's picture
Joined: 08/10/03
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I like your affirmations, I think being a BTDT mom really helps with realizing that you can't control everything and you can't let that get to you. (Hope your kids feel better soon!!
I remember following your birth lodge with your second child so I can't wait to follow this one Smile

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"mandi04" wrote:

I like your affirmations, I think being a BTDT mom really helps with realizing that you can't control everything and you can't let that get to you. (Hope your kids feel better soon!!
I remember following your birth lodge with your second child so I can't wait to follow this one Smile

Thanks, Mandi! I think I had the longest postpartum lodge in the history of our board. I just could not end that thing. Actually, it was from 2006, and my saved it on a computer somewhere here, but if it is around somewhere, I would love to add it to the thread with links to former lodges.

MrsMangoBabe's picture
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"selkiemom" wrote:

Thanks, Mandi! I think I had the longest postpartum lodge in the history of our board. I just could not end that thing. Actually, it was from 2006, and my saved it on a computer somewhere here, but if it is around somewhere, I would love to add it to the thread with links to former lodges.

Everything older than some time in mid-2007 was pruned a long time ago, so it doesn't exist on the internet anymore, as far as I know. Sorry! It would be wonderful if we could find a way to include it!

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"MrsMangoBabe" wrote:

Everything older than some time in mid-2007 was pruned a long time ago, so it doesn't exist on the internet anymore, as far as I know. Sorry! It would be wonderful if we could find a way to include it!

Would it work if I supplied it from a disk? I'm pretty sure that my dh saved an electronic copy.

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I'm tired, tired, tired today! I wanted to get so much work done, and I fell asleep doing some. Ugh. But I got a little bit done. I have to do a bunch more.

I have hired a photographer for my birth photos. I'm so excited! I never did anything like that before. We went over the contract together on Saturday. It's not signed, but I made a lot of changes to it. (I'd warned the photographer about this ahead of time.) One thing I wanted was to own the copyright to the photos because of the intimate nature of them. She understood.

Then today she came and we did the maternity photoshoot. I paid a deposit for the birth photos, and this will cover the maternity shoot if something happens so that she doesn't make it to photograph my birth. The idea of the maternity shoot was to get a chance to work together a little bit before having her pointing her camera at my hoohaw during birth. It went fine. We did a bunch outside with a huge fallen tree in my backyard and a bunch inside in which I was naked but covering any private bits. We also took some of me with my two boys and with my dh too.

I can't wait to see them!

MrsMangoBabe's picture
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"selkiemom" wrote:

Would it work if I supplied it from a disk? I'm pretty sure that my dh saved an electronic copy.

hmm...well, if you could upload it...you may have to put it somewhere off-site and then we could link to it. I'm no expert on the technological aspects of this stuff. I will see what I can find out.

The maternity photo shoot sounds fun!I'd like to do maternity photos this time. I hope your photos come out good!

spacewoman's picture
Joined: 04/16/09
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I hope your little ones feel better today. Have a great one!! Smile

HockeyTownMom's picture
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I can't wait to see the maternity photos! I'd love to hire a birth photographer.

ModernMother's picture
Joined: 10/30/09
Posts: 51

Jennie, which photographer did you choose? I'd love to see her website. I'm a birth photographer myself and its a very rewarding job. I need to post more of my birth photos on my website.

mommys's picture
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Hope everyone is feeling better. Can't wait to see the maternity photos.

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Posts: 53852

Another tough night but this time because of the long day. We drove to my office in the city. Our car is uncomfortable for me now because I can't spread my legs wide and because I'm forced to sit back not leaning forward.

I had my talk with my assistant, and I think it went really well. She has been really worried that she'd be running the whole office, and I said, no, I will always be in touch for questions, needing to know what's going on, and all that. It will be kind of like a vacation when she can tell people I'm out, but she'll know how to reach me. And I guaranteed her a bonus.

I share my office space with two other companies, and everything there is so nice. They threw a surprise "party" for me. We all came out to the front and had cupcakes. They'd gotten a super soft blanket for me with yellow on one side, green on the other, and giraffe print trim. So cute. How sweet and unexpected of them to do that for me.

The drive home was hell. We spent 2 hours in traffic. Dh missed his cub scout training night because of it. All the discomforts of the drive in the morning were compounded by my long day. I had to take my seatbelt off several times because it hurt so much. I've crawled into bed and feel awful.

Tomorrow I plan to rest, get some desk work done, and see New Moon.

I'm also starting to be awake at night and sleepy during the day. Hmmmm, I guess my body is gearing up for birth.

HockeyTownMom's picture
Joined: 05/20/02
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Oh no, I hope you're able to rest!

cmljll's picture
Joined: 11/28/06
Posts: 1409

Jennie, just wanted to let you know that I talked to my OB's office this morning and they said I can take Zyrtec or Zyrtec-D. You mentioned taking Sudafed and if it's keeping you up at night like it is me, that may be another option for you!

Joined: 03/16/15
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I definitely think I'm gearing up, but not in an imminent way. More in that 2-3 weeks ahead of time way. Still, I'll take anything I can get.

I'm crossing my legs at least until Monday. I for sure prefer Sagittarius!!

I'm kind of betting that she'll arrive between weeks 39 and 40.

But you know, I have been wrapping up a lot at work. And I have begun to get ready for her arrival. And I'm so close to the end. In general all these things are putting me in good spirits.

Connie, thanks about the medicine! I don't know if it was the Sudafed substitute keeping me up. I think it's more the waking/sleeping pattern of the end of pregnancy. For a while I was taking Benedryl to help me sleep through the night (and fall back asleep if I got up to pee), but I've stopped that because I want my body to switch to that natural rhythm. I find that the time of night when I'm very awake has been an indicator of when labor will start for me. So I'm eager to have that information emerge.

Joined: 03/16/15
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What your saying about wakeing at the time of labor starting was also true for me with Isaac, I woke up in labor just before DH was supposed to leave for work in the morning....just as I'd said I would! It was true will DD as well now that I think about it. So when are you going to go into labor this time? I'm in Alaska and have no idea what time it actually is when your updateing. I hope are able to reast today and feel better. The baby shower sounds sweet, I love giraffes!!

Joined: 03/16/15
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Vanessa, I don't have enough of a pattern yet to tell what time. I have been very awake at 1-2:30 am for a couple of days. But a couple of days ago I woke up around 6 am and had light contractions for 30 minutes. So, I'm not sure yet. In the next several days, I expect a pattern will develop.

I would guess night rather than day at this point, but I reserve final judgement.

Joined: 03/16/15
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Affirmation for the day: I welcome the changes in my body.

The changes are not comfortable, but they are definitely the kind of changes one expects in the last 2-3 weeks before labor starts in order to prepare for labor and delivery. That is a good thing because once the baby is out, I will start to feel better.

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