Welcome to your lodge! I look forward to sharing in your journey!
Welcome! I hope things go smoothly for you!
Welcome and I can't wait to hear your story!
Thank you! Hopefully my story isn't quite as boring as it seems to me when I'm writing it out. lol
Okay, so where to start. I'm Harmony, married to my wonderful DH for 2.5 years. We met at church during my sophomore year at college (his freshman year) and were just friends for about two years. But sometime around my 21st birthday, DH decided he'd rather be a bit more than friends. We dated for two years after that before we started talking marriage (although we both knew we were serious from the beginning), but we ran into some snags with DH's family over the marriage issue. DH is Korean, you see, and I am white American. We ran into culture clashes every time we turned around for the next year and a half, it seemed. His parents wanted us to wait until we were in our 30's to get married, but we didn't want to wait that long. Many marriages in Korea today are semi-arranged by the families, and we were completely ignoring that. Etc, etc, etc. DH had to deal with a lot more drama than I did, poor man, but for some reason that I still don't quite understand, he wanted to marry me more than he wanted to be on good terms with his parents. And so he proposed to me against their wishes. There was a month or two where we weren't quite certain if things would be okay with his family, but thankfully everything worked itself out and I now have a wonderful relationship with my in-laws. Ladies on pg.org talk about their in-law troubles all the time, but aside from when DH and I were dating and the early days of our engagement, I have had nothing but good things to say about mine. For that, I consider myself very lucky.
DH and I never used any birth control. We knew that miscarriages were not uncommon in my family, and I had so many friends who had waited to have kids only to face years of infertility when they finally went off their BC. We were hoping that by starting early we would avoid the problems that family and friends had. Unfortunately, it did not work that way. It took me 6 months to get pregnant the first time, only to lose the baby 6 weeks later. Then I got pregnant immediately after that and things looked wonderful. We even saw the heartbeat on the ultrasound at 6 weeks, a perfectly healthy heartbeat. Then, two weeks later at a routine follow-up, u/s showed that we had lost another. We dealt with OBs who were absolutely horrible to us (one OB told me that my miscarriages were "obstetrically boring"). Of course they couldn't help us, since we'd only had 2 m/c so far, and all the testing they could do on me came back negative. So we went into watch and wait mode. The new OB, who I was seeing because she was nice and hugged me when I was crying instead of the other doctors who didn't seem to care at all about my pain, told us that we would have to wait through either a year of infertility or another miscarriage before she could do anything else for us. So we waited. And waited. During this time both my best friend and my baby sister called to let me know they were pregnant. And then they called to tell me the results of the gender ultrasound. And then they sent pictures of their babies. 9 months or so after the second m/c, DH and I started looking into adoption and fostering programs. We began training to become foster parents. Just before the last weekend of our foster parent training, a full 12 months after my last m/c, I got my BFP. Initially I was disappointed, because I was certain I would lose this baby, too, and I knew that we couldn't finish the fostering certification if I was pregnant. So in my mind, this was just delaying me getting a baby for another few months.
But somehow, this little one stuck it out in my troublesome womb and I seriously can't believe we're only a month away from meeting her. :eek:
This pregnancy has been mostly wonderful. I've had some health issues - fainting, GD, asthma, migraines, etc - but physically I've felt great aside from being completely dead tired all the time. I'm in no hurry to deliver her. In fact, I really do enjoy being pregnant.
As far as natural childbirth goes, I've always known I wanted to avoid interventions. My mom told me about my own birth. She was induced because her waters broke, and she wound up needing pain killers because of the pitocin. I had trouble with nursing because of the drugs, she was out of it for the delivery, and her experience with my sister was so incredibly different from mine (all natural) that she always impressed upon me the importance of avoiding interventions. Plus, one of my mom's college friends is a pretty famous doula in our area and so I've always known more about NCB than any of my other friends. DH's mom is a huge proponent of NCB as well, so I've been incredibly supported by everyone: my mom, my MIL, DH, my SIL (who wants to be a doula!), my sister (who had a homebirth), and even my best friend - who had a wonderful experience of an accidental natural birth (labor went too fast for drugs) after promising me for years that she was going to use all the drugs she could get her hands on. In fact, I don't think I've had a single person say something negative to me about NCB during my entire pregnancy.
So our plan is to have a waterbirth at the most NCB-friendly hospital in the metro region, with one of the best MW practices in the city, and to hire my mom's doula friend to support me through the birth. Everyone keeps telling me that I'm setting myself up for the most amazing hospital birth I could possibly have, and I know that with the support system I have around me that if I do end up with interventions, they will be necessary and I can feel no guilt at all for using them. But like the MW told me at my last appointment, we're not even going to think about interventions right now.
So, um, is this the sort of thing I'm supposed to say to introduce myself in my lodge?? Thanks for reading. I'm so looking forward to savoring the last weeks of my pregnancy!
That was a wonderful into, Harmony. I'm so sorry for the losses of your first two babies, and I'm so glad this one stuck for you! I think it's great that you have so much support from your family and friends and you have a great plan for a natural hospital birth with a midwife and doula! I will be excited to read your birth story. I hope you continue to enjoy your pregnancy these next several weeks!
Some family pictures to decorate the lodge:
A wedding picture. If the baby comes 9 days past my "due date", she'll be born exactly 2.5 years after our wedding.
Our therapy puppy. She made the very difficult year after the last m/c a very happy time for us.
And a belly pic just for fun. 28w5d is the most recent one I have. Oops... I need to remedy that, perhaps at my shower this weekend.
We dealt with OBs who were absolutely horrible to us (one OB told me that my miscarriages were "obstetrically boring"). Of course they couldn't help us, since we'd only had 2 m/c so far, and all the testing they could do on me came back negative.
:jawdrop: I can't even believe a doctor could be so horribly inconsiderate! I am so glad you found a better doctor, and your situation with the NCB friendly hospital sounds amazing, I wish it was an option where I live! I can't wait to hear about your awesome birth
I read a little of the FAQs re: the birthing lodges, and I was anticipating yours around this week! I enjoyed reading your story.
From what you have mentioned about your hospital & what I have read from another discussion board, I agree with you and DH in that I would probably enjoy working on the OB floor of your hospital.
Looking forward to reading more and maybe seeing a recent picture!
Welcome to your lodge!
We TTC'ed for 27 months before getting pregnant with Ethan (no losses) and I know that frustration! God and I had many "talks" along the way;-)
Now we have Ethan and after 2 months of not-trying-not-preventing, I'm due in December!
Hope your last month goes smoothly!!!
Welcome to your lodge mama!! :wavehello:
Welcome to your lodge Harmony! I've been looking forward to seeing your lodge up here!
Wonderful intro. Dh and I didn't have any battles in the beginning with our families and being a bi-racial couple. Many people ask if we did. I'm with you on the in-laws. I feel so lucky to really love my in-laws :).
I'm so sorry about your previous losses and for having to deal with such insensitive OBs . It's wonderful that you are able to turn that whole situation around with having such amazing support around you right now for this birth. I have no doubt that you will get the birth experience you desire, you will have your two angels by your side to help you through it.
I meant to comment on the insensitive OB thing as well, but forgot about it when I went to reply. How dare he tell you m/c's are "obstetrically boring"...you're grieving the loss of your child and he's saying he's bored? What a self-centered jerk!
Welcome to your lodge!! So sorry about your previous losses. That is terrific that you have so much support around you!! It's not easy to find a NCB friendly hospital but when you do find one they usually seem to better than a birth center! (at least from what I've found) Looking foward to your journey!
Yeah, I sort of sat there blankly during that visit. He was trying to make a joke, but it wasn't in very good taste and certainly wasn't the right thing to say in that situation. It didn't really sink in what he'd said until a few hours after I'd left. That ended up being my last visit ever at that office, despite the fact that I loved the MWs there. The policy was that I couldn't see the MWs after a m/c, and I really didn't want to see any of the OBs ever again. But I've got a great team around me now.
Okay, and I can't help but post a short update to brag on my DH. Last night I was a bit concerned because I hadn't felt her move in a while, and most of the movements had been mild little rolls. So I ate a bit of dark chocolate and drank a glass full of cold water and started counting movements. Fifteen in one hour, which was wonderful. Apparently I just have a quiet little baby. Actually, her entire personality in utero seems remarkably like mine (and incidentally, very much like how my mom describes my movement before I was born). Very mild-mannered, quiet, and always stops moving if you touch her as if she's afraid she's taking up someone else's space. DH sent me an email this morning to ask if I'd been feeling any movements today. I told him I had and described my observations about her movements and here's what he wrote back:
"Our little Harmony clone, minus the nose* I love her so much already."
*Based on the ultrasounds we've had, we have decided she has a Korean nose. It certainly looks nothing like my beak-y Caucasian nose.
Awww! How sweet! I remember when my mom was pregnant with my brother that he barely moved either. Just rolled over. You could actually see his butt move when he rolled over!
what an intro and journey. Sorry your one doc was such a prick. I can't wait to see your baby. I'm of hte opinion (hope this doesn't offend) but mixed children are just so beautiful and exotic looking. If I were to adopt I'm hoping to find either a "mixed" baby or one that is ethnically different from DH and I. Why? I have no idea.
I'm of hte opinion (hope this doesn't offend) but mixed children are just so beautiful and exotic looking.
It doesn't offend me at all. Personally, I think Molly (molly_4711)'s little girl and Jenn (VTAlum01)'s son are the cutest things ever. Except for Delia (babyJtime)'s daughter, who is half Korean and will only be surpassed in cuteness by my own baby.
Not to say that non-mixed babies aren't precious and beautiful too. But I guess it's only natural that I have a bias towards mixed children.
Don't forget, my baby is mixed, too! She's only 25% Tahitian, but she still counts!
I didn't know that! Honestly, I don't think I could have told just from the picture in your signature (not that I know off the top of my head what full Tahitian looks like...). It gets harder to spot with each generation, I think. I'm sure my grandkids are going to encompass the whole spectrum from looking very Asian to all Caucasion to perhaps half Black or half Hispanic. Actually, it's likely that some of my grandchildren will look more like me than my children do as my recessive traits pop back up. Genetics is so much fun!
It will be great to follow your Lodge here Harmony!!!
Mixed babies sure are cute, especially those Korean-Caucasian ones!! I can't wait to see what your baby girl looks like compared to my Kongju!!
The way you described your LO's movement is EXACTLY how my Mary was in utero. This pregnancy has been so opposite. While Mary would stop moving if anyone, including myself, went to feel the movement (the slow roll) while this one moves even more when I touch my stomach!
I'm in agreement on the mixed babies There are alot of gorgeous celebrities out there that are mixed.
That's okay, Tehani is kind of white, but she's a good deal darker than me, and I think she'll get a lot darker with more sun. Tehani has a cousin who is blonde with blue eyes--so yeah, this generation has a lot of variation.
You know the Gosselin faimily on Jon and Kate Plus Eight? Jon is half Korean and so the twins and sextuplets are 25% and they all look pretty Asian. I think those kids are extremely adorable. Jon's mom told Kate not to expect her kids to look like her because the Korean genes are very dominant. Kate was okay with that because she thinks they're beautiful.
And you're right Delia's daughter is a gorgeous child.
So fun to catch up on your story! You sure have been through a lot, and I look forward to seeing you prescious little miracle very soon:) How are you feeling today?
How are you feeling today?
But that's how I always feel after going on a marathon grocery shopping trip. DH has pretty much done all the shopping for the last few months, but every once in a while I'll attempt it again. Today I only went to one store (WalMart) but I was there for over an hour. I came home and promptly crashed in bed unable to do anything else for the rest of the day. DH says I'm banned from WalMart for the remainder of the pregnancy. Luckily we had lettuce in the garden and pre-chopped veggies in the fridge, or I don't know what DH would have eaten for lunch tomorrow! Dinner was leftover corn chowder and homemade smoothies. There's nothing like scrounging for dinner. lol It was delicious, but it just didn't go very well together.
Tomorrow I have my 36-week appointment. I'll get the results of my GBS test, but the MW said it won't affect my birth plans if I'm +. I also have to make some food for an international dinner my parents' church is having this weekend. DH and I are spending the weekend with them because my shower is on Saturday on their end of town. And we have a parenting class right after the shower, so it's going to be a busy weekend. Hopefully I'll get to update after my appointment tomorrow, but after that it'll probably be one big update on Monday.
(XP with birth board)
Well, I'm GBS +. But I've been assured by the MW that it won't affect any plans I have for my waterbirth. They'll just cap the IV when it's time for me to get into the pool. So I'm not going to worry too much about it. BP was 125/78, which is high for me, but not very high at all in the grand scheme of things. No one seems to be worried. Baby is still head-down, although not as deep as she was a month ago. HB was good, in the 140s. I hadn't gained anything since my last appt. I don't know if that's good or bad. I've gained 22 lbs thus far, which is a good amount.
I've been so cranky lately. Poor DH has had a lot to deal with. The past three days I've nearly had meltdowns every day. I had to choose between completely losing it (uncontrollable tears, snapping at DH or the dog) and going to take a nap. Most of the time I've been choosing the nap, but there have been a few times when I've regretted how I've behaved. But he's such a wonderful husband and hasn't said a single cross word back to me. Plus he's picked up some of the chores, which really makes my life easier.
Okay, off to pack for a busy weekend of fun!
From what I understand, you can hook up the IV just when you need to have the doses, and have the lock only in between, so you don't have to be tied to the IV during your labor. Of course, you can decline the antibiotics--I've never really researched it, though, having never tested positive myself, so I don't know what evidence is out there to support either side.
It's normal for BP to go up at the end of pregnancy--it's nothing to be concerned about if it's not extremely high and you don't have any other symptoms of PreE. It's also normal for weight gain to level off a little at the end--it's hard to eat with a baby squishing up your stomach.
It sounds like you have a very supportive and patient husband. Good for him (and you!)
I'm sorry to hear you are GBS+, but it's great to know that your MW is not letting that change your water birth plans.
Sounds like you have a very sweet husband . I've had those days where I've snapped and it's usually because I'm overtired so the nap would have been the better option for me too!
Sounds like you have an awesome midwife, glad she is willing to still do a water birth even with the GBS +. Looks like you are the only lodge left that hasn't given birth yet, wow we had quite a pop of births this week!
I'm back! The weekend was super busy, and I am worn out, but it was definitely a ton of fun. I got lots of goodies at the shower: books (yay for books!), cloth diapers, gift cards*, a diaper bag, and lots of cute baby things.
As for how I feel.... remind me NEVER to go to my parents' house pregnant again and sleep on their guest bed without my pregnancy pillow. My back hurts so bad! Ugh! I hardly slept at all the first night, and the second night I slept better (I found a body pillow), but I still woke up in more pain than I was in the night before. And I also ate too much junk this weekend, at my shower and my parents' house (oh, the ice cream...), and then at a special dinner after church today. So I am actually very happy to be home where I can sleep on my bed and stick better to my diet.
I'm 37 weeks today! So now I can stop worrying about her coming too soon and start getting things fully baby-ready. Oh, and I think I have a great strategy for helping me wait patiently for her to arrive. Father's Day is June 21st, which would put me at exactly 42 weeks. That would be so special for DH to have this long-awaited baby arrive on Father's Day. It would totally be worth it to go past my due date if it meant giving DH such a special gift for Father's Day. So after realizing that, I'm quite content to wait until 42 weeks. Of course, if she'd rather show up on D-Day, I won't complain....
*In Korean culture, the go-to gift for special occasions is often cash. DH likes this custom and doesn't understand why Americans will give a gift that wasn't on the registry, without getting a gift receipt, before giving cash. He was a bit annoyed after our first shower that we got things we didn't want to use (pacifiers, disposable diapers, etc) that we had no easy way of returning. He kept saying, "Why not give cash? That way we could buy what we need instead of being stuck with what someone else thinks we'll need." Anyway, not that we didn't get anything like that at this shower, but it was really funny how all the gift cards were addressed to me and DH, while all the regular gifts were addressed to just me or the baby. I came home from the shower and told him that some of the gifts were for him, too, and he sort of laughed cynically: "More stuff we can't use?" The look on his face when I pulled out the gift cards was great. So now his "faith in humanity" has been "partially restored".
Your DH is so cute:) I understand the frusteration of getting things you don't want, I must admit though that I like haveing a pacifier around it really is nice when Isaac just needs a little soothing, and I know he's not hungry. I didn't get any diapers from anyone cause I used cloth last time with DD. I hope you get some extra rest tonight and have a better night of sleep. You can take anything back to Walmart....at least anything they sell there, I'd take a look and give it a try!
I'm glad you had a good baby shower and got stuff you want and gift cards instead of stuff you don't want. I had 3 baby showers when I was pregnant with DD, and I got way too many baby blankets. I understand the frustration about getting things you don't plan on using that you can't return.
Your idea about dealing with going past your due date sounds like a good attitude. You can also remember and if you are still pregnant it means your baby is not ready to be born, so going past your due date will be what is best for your baby.
37w5d appointment update:
Everything looks great. I'm still measuring behind (35 weeks), but that's either because she had dropped into my pelvis really early - like 34 weeks - or because she's just a small baby. I was just over 6 lbs at birth, 3 days "early", and DH was just at 7 lbs at full term, so that's entirely possible. Since my u/s didn't show any cause for concern, they've decided there's no need to worry about it.
My blood pressure was down today! No one but me and my family have been worried about my BP, but we all knew anything over 120/70 is high for me. Usually I'm down around 100/60. Well today it was back down to 116/something (can't remember). That's a refreshing reversal of the trend it's been on in the last few appointments where it kept creeping up to its high of 125/75-ish.
My blood sugar has been excellent as of late, too. Part of me is concerned that this reversal of all my health "problems" means that my placenta isn't producing as many hormones as before, but the rest of me is absolutely thrilled that I'm healthy. I'm up 1 lb from last week, and there was absolutely nothing else of interest from the appointment aside from the fact that I was SO tired and I had to wait for a long time. I nearly fell asleep in the room! lol I was seriously nodding off when she came in. Of course it wasn't her fault that I had to wait forever. She was covering for the OB's patients as well as her own because he was at a birth.
In other news, I finished returning 2/3 of the items we marked to return from my showers. I did the WalMart and Target returns today. Now all that's left is BRU. I'm waiting until next week to buy all the things we still need because a lot of the people who were planning to come to my shower last weekend ended up going to a funeral for a child of a member of my parents' congregation. So my mom expects to be getting a few more gifts by Sunday. And if she doesn't, it's not a big deal. I'll just buy things and keep the receipts myself in case of duplicates.
Okay, one more story. When I got home, the puppy was going extra crazy, running around and barking. She kept going to the front door. Usually she runs to the back door (to go out) or the garage door (to see if DH came home with me). So I followed her over there and there's a package at the door. Smart dog, huh? And it turns out the package is a bunch of dog treats that we ordered her a while back so that we'd have a good supply for her when the baby came! So now I'm wondering if she could smell them, or if she'd do the same thing anytime someone rang the doorbell while we were away.
Nothing else of interest here. I'm feeling no different, not too uncomfortable, and generally like I could be pregnant for a 4th trimester without too much inconvenience in my life.
Ahhhhh.... I love hearing things like that! So many women on my BB and IRL are whining & moaning about how they are already so done with being pregnant (and my sister is only 21 weeks!) it's refreshing to hear someone (besides myself) who is really enjoying it all. And IMHO the newborn period really *IS* the fourth trimester because babies are born before they're really ready to be on the outside.
Glad your appointment went well and you are feeling well. I'm glad you've been able to return some of the baby gifts you didn't want. Have fun shopping for the stuff you do want!
Yeah for an uneventful appt!
That's neat that the dog knew there was a package. You'll have to test it out with other packages.
Sorry, I haven't been keeping up with lodges!
Yayyy for making it to full term!!!
Yay for another great appt-- I'm glad your BP was down, that is a relief.
I'm always comfy in the end, too.....I just love having baby inside me and miss it when they are out. Enjoy these last few weeks....it goes by so fast!
Glad your appt went so well, I'm sure it was a relief that your bp was down. And I agree that I love being pregnant, the only thing that would make it better is a little tummy window to peak at baby every once in a while to see that all is good in there.
YAY for a great appointment!! That's great that you still feel so good! I remember with ds1 I told everyone I wouldn't mind going late (wow the looks I would get lol) I ended up going about a week early, but I too love being pregnant, I wish I could do it one more time!! Enjoy that belly!!
Oh boy... just got some not-so-great news. The main MW at the practice just lost her mom. One of the OBs is covering for her for a while, and there are no waterbirths available when the OB is on call. My doula (semi-jokingly) told me not to go into labor for a few more weeks. Not that I'm ready to have this baby yet, but ugh! That would really stink. I feel bad for all the ladies at the practice who do go into labor during this time.
And hopefully I won't be one of them. I always sort of thought I'd go early (I had a dream that baby would come on June 1st a long time ago), but now I'm hoping my intuition was totally wrong.
What about the other midwives? Couldn't you get one of them when you go into labor? Or if you do end up with him, just get into the tub to labor and then refuse to get out. Plenty of women have unexpected water births because they don't get out of the tub "in time."
yikes, sucky timing, but hopefully baby will just hang out. Not trying to sound unfeeling for your mw, just yikes.
I'm not entirely certain on all the details, just that my doula (who is very well-informed about these things) says I should do my best to avoid going into labor until this is all worked out. She also said a waterbirth is "not available" while the OB is on call. I'm not certain if this is what is happening in this case, but I'm pretty sure that the hospital will not even fill the birthing pool without the OK from the care provider.
ETA: I assume the other midwives will continue to be on call during their regular call times. But I don't know why the OB is covering for her instead of one of the other midwives.....
I was in this exact situation a couple of weeks ago....my MW had to leave the country for a funeral when I was 38 weeks pregnant...it worked out fine and I went into labour a couple of days after she got back.
I think my body was holding out for her to get back....and it wasn't just me, when she got back she had 4 mums in a row who had their babies so I believe your body will probably make sure that you are in a "safe" place with someone you trust around!
I'm sorry for your midwife's loss. I hope your LO decides to stay in until she gets back!
I'm sorry to hear about your midwife's loss. I hope baby stays put until she returns so you can have the birth experience you are wishing for
My OB had rotator cuff surgery when I was a few weeks away from my EDD with Ethan. I was nervous! I know he wouldn't have anyone he didn't trust for a backup, but he knew how I wanted things to go... It was the week he came back that we found out Ethan had to come out. He ended up doing my c-section one handed, with one of his backups "assisting";-) But I didn't go into labor while he was out! As long as baby's okay in there, your body will likely wait on your mw:-)
Lots of BH around here! I've been timing them today, and they were consistently 6 minutes apart lasting a minute each for an hour (I was on my side in bed for that hour...). Every now and then one of them gets pretty intense. I've winced through a couple of them, but none are what I would term "painful".
Sounds like we are both experiencing the same things with these BH! I think it's a great sign that our bodies are getting ready for the big event!
Well mine didn't last nearly as long as yours did. I had 5.5 hours of solid, regular (4 to 6 minutes apart lasting 1 minute), mostly-not-painful BH. Then when we hit the time of night when she starts getting active (8:30 or 9pm), they sort of trickled off. Still, it is nice to know my body is actually capable of making some progress. For weeks it's felt like absolutely nothing was happening!
My doula told me yesterday that if they are BH they will trail off at night like yours, but these didn't until this morning. This is such a fascinating process that our bodies go through!