*~Shelly's (ShellyKP) Birthing Lodge~* (prenatal)

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MamaArty_RMT's picture
Joined: 11/09/05
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*~Shelly's (ShellyKP) Birthing Lodge~* (prenatal)

Yay! I just realized you're due for yours. Woohoo! Welcome to your lodge!

HockeyTownMom's picture
Joined: 05/20/02
Posts: 417

Welcome to your lodge!!

aliciakelleyw's picture
Joined: 08/22/07
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Welcome to your lodge!

GarlicBreath's picture
Joined: 09/12/06
Posts: 488

:wavehello:

Joined: 03/16/15
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Yeah! Welcome to your lodge!

Joined: 05/05/04
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How exciting - another October mom is getting ready Biggrin

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Already, shelly?? your preg has totally flown by, well for me at least Wink

Joined: 10/22/06
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Yay! Congrats on your lodge!

kaype's picture
Joined: 02/08/07
Posts: 219

Congrats on your Lodge, Shelly! Looking forward to hearing your story!

Joined: 03/16/15
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:lurk:

AHHH!!!!! Yahoo Now it is easy for me to stalk you Wink I am so excited for you my friend and I can't wait for updates!

Joined: 03/16/15
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Wow! Thank you so much! I can't believe I'm so close. I can't post much right now, because I'm at work. But I have so much to say! I'll be back.

:thanks:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Yay Shelly! Congrats! Tell us everything!

Any names? How are you doing with the high risk issues (GD, right?)?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Where do I start? I have so much to share, so I'll try to keep it organized.

A short bio: DH and I met in college, married soon after I graduated. Waited five years to start trying for a baby. Lost our first baby last year, in May. That was hard for both of us, but we continued to try. It took us only six months for this baby. DH is now 31, I am 29. And yet, I still feel like a kid. Am I really ready to be someone's mom?

High risk factors: Early in my pregnancy I was diagnosed with diabetes and hypertension. I was started on meds for the high blood pressure and they have worked quite well all through the pregnancy. The diabetes is the beast that won't quit.

I started out trying to control it with diet. But because I was likely a diabetic before I even got pregnant, pregnancy just made it worse. I was started on insulin late in my first trimester. It has been a challenge ever since. I work at night, so controlling my sugars with such an irregular schedule has been rough. I'm overweight and have always struggled with food. It's only in recent years that I've come to accept my body and started enjoying what I ate, instead of counting calories, measuring out portions and berating myself for eating "bad" things.

Then all of a sudden, I had to go back to doing those things. For a while, I never knew what to eat so I rarely ate anything. I ate only enough to not be hungry and I never enjoyed a meal. I started meeting with a dietician who helped me out, but I still feel guilt over anything "forbidden" that I eat. I'm pregnant. I'm supposed to enjoy chocolate and not worry about the extra calories. But for a pregnant diabetic, food is your enemy. And it seems the most unfair things will spike my blood sugar. Fruit is good for you, right? Well, not if you're diabetic. And forget about veggie pizza and spaghetti. Too many carbs. The only things that won't spike my sugar are proteins. And I am practically a vegetarian, so that has been interesting. Probably the reason I lost 25 pounds this pregnancy.

Now, on top of those problems....the baby is breech. And he's been breech since about 20 weeks. I can't help feeling like I don't even belong here anymore because I'm destined for a c-section. I know that vaginal breech birth is a viable option, for some. But there isn't an OB anywhere around here who will consider it. And my risk factors probably negate me from even being a candidate for VBB.

If he does turn, I get to be induced. They won't allow me to even go to my due date because of the diabetes. It stinks. It really upsets me, but every OB I've talked to says the same thing. And being high risk, I can't go to a birth center. All the ones in this area won't take me because they are not equipped to deal with a mom on insulin. Oh yeah, and midwives are illegal where I live, unless they are part of an OB practice. So, I'm stuck.

I do have a wonderful doula and I look forward to working with her. We've tried turning the baby at home but he won't budge. I can't help feeling like there is a reason he's breech. He stays in basically the same position all the time. He moves a lot but seems to have a default position when he's at rest. I think there must be a reason. Maybe his cord is too short.

Anyhow, that's my current state. I'll soon be "full-term" according to the docs. I've started dilating, but I don't put much stock into that number. Although, if I do go into labor and he does not turn it's an automatic "emergency" c-section.

This pregnancy has not turned out anything like I had hoped for. In fact, everything I *didn't* want seems to be happening to me. But the baby is healthy. All of his tests have been normal and that is what is most important.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Just wanted to share some links and pictures.

My October Mommy Space:
http://www.pregnancy.org/bulletinboards/showthread.php?t=27047&page=4

My Pregnancy Blog:
http://shellykp.wordpress.com

MySpace:
http://www.myspace.com/shellykp
(It's private, but just let me know you're from PG.org and I'll add you.)

Ticker:
babies

My mom made this for the baby's room:

We called him "Boo" before we knew the sex and because he'll be an October baby. Halloween is a big deal in this house. Smile

A recent belly pic (36 weeks):

(I'm thrilled to have my picture taken...)

Baby shower cakes:

Baby's face, via 3d ultrasound:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Nursery furniture:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

What a beautiful cake and nursery!

Thanks for sharing your story. You do belong here! As long as you have naturally minded intentions, and I know you do, then you belong here.

Instead of thinking about what you don't get because of high risk factors, let's take a moment to consider what you can work towards. You can try to stave off an induction by saying that if you have to have a c-section, what does it matter if the baby is big? That way you can try to get him to agree to let you go into labor. At least then you'll know the lungs are mature, and waiting until labor starts on its own is very naturally minded.

Ok, another thing. If you have to have a c-section, and yes you are realistic in acknowledging that this is very possible in your circumstances, you can have a gentle c-section. Ask to see the baby right away and nurse as soon as possible. Ask for dim lights and delaying the ointment in the eyes which can blind a baby (if you choose to have it). Robin had a gentle-birth c-section with Miriam, and I think she will have lots of good things to suggest to you.

Why don't you post your birth plan?

We are all here to support you to have as natural a birth as possible. Interventions, including c-sections, are sometimes necessary, and thank goodness we have them for those situations. None of these circumstances is your fault. It's how you deal with them that will help you have a welcoming start to your new family. We are behind you to have as positive an experience as possible.

Joined: 10/22/06
Posts: 1033

I love the collage your mom made for Baby Boo and I think the look on your face in the belly pic is so telling of how we all feel toward the end of pregnancy! I hope your little guy decides to flip for your and your diabetes & hypertension remain manageable. You are so right that it is totally rotten that you can't indulge a little in your food cravings while pregnant.

I really hope you get a birth you are at peace with, even if it's not the birth you might be imagining. :bigarmhug:

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Hi Shelly! I can't believe the time is so close! You totally belong here! I think that you are doing the best you can for your child. Thanks for sharing pictures! You are one beautiful mama!

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

"selkiemom" wrote:

Why don't you post your birth plan?

Lol Because I'm a procrastinator. I had one and it was good. But with him being stubbornly breech, I've been re-writing it in the event of a c-section. I had a small part about c-section in my original plan but not enough. And I wanted to ask questions of the birthplace staff before writing more in.

Yesterday, DH and I toured the hospital birthplace where I'll be delivering. I got to ask loads of questions and while I was not always happy with the answers I'm glad to know what to expect. And now that I'm more familiar with certain policies, I'm going to re-write the birth plan to reflect that. I don't want to repeat something that is already standard policy and I don't want to bog the nurses down with requests they can't meet.

Although the woman who gave me the tour did say that if my birth plan deviated from the standard policies, that's o.k. I just have to let them know ahead of time and notify the birthplace director so that they can try their best to accomodate me. Nurses are used to doing things one way, which I totally understand. I have to follow policy in my own department, so when we have to deviate from it, we are kind of clueless. (I work in the hospital where I'll be delivering, so I'm familiar with many of the policies already.)

There were some things I hated about the place and other things that I was pleasantly surprised by. They have a lot of labor aids that I didn't expect. Birth balls, birth stools, squat bars, even a tub. (Only one, first come first serve...but they said it's rarely so busy that you can't get in it at some point.)

I got to speak to one of the nurses who has had midwife experience in other countries and in a few small villages in Africa. She said that she was surprised by the amenities that my hospital has, as far as support for natural childbirth. I was so pleased to hear that. She told me that one of the OBs (now retired, unfortunately) often laid on the floor to catch a baby while a woman delivered on the birthing stool. And that another OB recently did a waterbirth there. It was nice to hear that they are flexible about that kind of thing. I was so concerned about being tied to my bed and being forced to deliver on my back. My own OB said that if I didn't have an epidural, I could deliver on hands/knees or in other positions if I wanted.

But because the c-section is quickly becoming a reality, I am trying my best to prepare for it. My main concern is being separated from my child. I feel like I am abandoning him after he is born and I'm still on the OR table. I made DH swear that he would never leave that baby's side. And I am recruiting my mom and his mom to be back-ups if he does have to leave for some reason. I just want that child to never leave a loved one's sight. And I want them to hold him as much as they can and if he has to stay in a warmer (something I'm going to fight them on), to at least hold his hand so he's never alone.

Because of my diabetes, the baby might be born with hypoglycemia (low blood sugar). In that case, I was told that they will supplement him with formula (whatever my pediatrician chooses.) While I'm not happy to hear that, if he needs to have his blood sugar stabilized in a hurry I won't argue. I just want him to be healthy. I did tell them I wanted no aritificial nipples (and I'll put it in my birth plan.) They said they would feem him via syringe or a small cup instead. I read up on the policy for hypoglycemic babes and it says that breastmilk is their first choice for supplementation, but if my milk has not come in then they would use formula. So, if it's not an emergency I will request to breasfeed first. But honestly, at that point I just have to view formula as medicine. Their first priority is to stabilize him and make sure he's healthy. If I have a c-section, chances are my milk won't be ready yet anyhow. So, I'm kind of stuck.

There are so many things that I will just have to let go. DH and I are going to sit down and decide what are the absolute most important things for me and go from there. I want things to go smoothly. Honestly, I just want to get my baby and go home. Whatever way is quickest is what I'll do.

Joined: 10/22/06
Posts: 1033

"ShellyKP" wrote:

But because the c-section is quickly becoming a reality, I am trying my best to prepare for it. My main concern is being separated from my child. I feel like I am abandoning him after he is born and I'm still on the OR table. I made DH swear that he would never leave that baby's side. And I am recruiting my mom and his mom to be back-ups if he does have to leave for some reason. I just want that child to never leave a loved one's sight. And I want them to hold him as much as they can and if he has to stay in a warmer (something I'm going to fight them on), to at least hold his hand so he's never alone.

Shelly - reading this made me tear up a little. You are such a good mama. Your little guy is lucky.

kaype's picture
Joined: 02/08/07
Posts: 219

"selkiemom" wrote:

You do belong here! As long as you have naturally minded intentions, and I know you do, then you belong here.

I whole-heartedly concur Wink Just because things happen that you can't control, doesn't mean you don't belong. That's life, afterall, right? I think it's great that you're already "letting go" of your plan. That's probably something I need to think more about -- being "okay" if things go slightly different than I intended, if we're both okay. That is what's important.

I think your hospital sounds pretty cool. I really hope you're able to avoid a c/s. I had never heard of a "gentle c-section" until I recently read Robinna's birth story for Miriam.

Flip, little baby, flip!

GarlicBreath's picture
Joined: 09/12/06
Posts: 488

:bigarmhug:

From what you said, it sounds like the hospital is helping you make the best of the situation. I think it is *awesome* that they would take the time to feed your little guy eats from a cup or syrenge to avoid nipple confusion. It sounds like they are a little more flexible.

You are such a good mommy.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

You are doing awesome, Shelly! I don't know that I'd be able to do the mental shifts that you're doing.

Will you be rooming in? If so, here is one thing that helped me. I asked that the baby not receive a bath (we wanted the vernix to be absorbed into his skin). What I didn't know is that the baby was not allowed to go into the nursery without a bath, so that really kept him from ever going in the nursery.

Joined: 03/16/15
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I am requesting to room-in with baby. I asked about the baths when I took my tour. The woman I spoke with said that basically the only "bath" they get is to get the blood rinsed/wiped off. They do not make any effort to scrub off vernix because (as she said) it's good for their skin. Smile

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Do you have a name chosen? (only reveal it if you want to)

Can you tell us a little bit about your religion and how you want that to play into your birth? (We could take that discussion to that particular board if you'd prefer.)

You are really on top of everything. Maybe it doesn't seem like that to you, but to me you are doing great and I admire you.

Joined: 03/16/15
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Hey hon. I just came over here to catch up after reading your post in teh c/s video thread... thinking of you. As I said over there if you want to talk breech, i'm here. It does sound like an excuse to me, though. So far as you and your blood sugars are concerned, it's just a birth. For the mama, there's not much of a difference birthing a breech baby or birthing a vertex baby, it's just birth. For the baby, they would probably argue that he's at risk of hypoglycemia and at (you need to see my rolling eyes here) higher risk of birth injury if vag breech (this both is and isn't true, very complicated), they might tell you that those are compound risks. I wouldn't buy it, myself, without some clear researched evidence but that's what your Dr. would probably say. Anyway I know you're trying to make peace wth the idea of c/s but if there's any part of you that is still wanting to explore options, let me know. I'm 100% here for you either way, please know that.

xo Robin

Joined: 03/16/15
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"ShellyKP" wrote:

There are so many things that I will just have to let go. DH and I are going to sit down and decide what are the absolute most important things for me and go from there.

It looks 99% like I am getting my home waterbirth, after a C/S and hospital VBAC- also in a state where MWery is illegal. If I can get what I want, I just KNOW you will!!!!

You know that there's a whole lot of us here that haven't given up on you, right? Wink :bigarmhug:

Joined: 04/13/04
Posts: 245

Hey Shelly! Welcome to your lodge! I haven't been posting much here lately :oops: but I love this board and it was a wonderful support for me during my recent pg and birth.

Although I didn't have the diabetes to deal with, I do have experiences with a stubborn breech baby and doc who wasn't keen on a breech vag birth. To be honest with you, I wasn't all that keen on vaginally birthing a breech baby so I can understand if you have your own reservations with it. I do feel very differently about it now and would give it a go if the situation arose again. Not having any medical knowledge to back up my feelings, what Robin said about VBB and diabetes seemed to make sense. But again I do understand the desire to just get that baby out so he is healthy. It can be very scary to go against advice when all around you are telling you what you *should* do.

With Max I ended up having an "elective" c-sec. I always hated calling it that because they were electing it, not me! Anyway, I tried to make the experience as mother/baby friendly as possible. I had a mirror so I was able to watch and be part of the birth. If it is something that you think you would like I HIGHLY recommend it. I also had DH take a ton of photos during the actual birth, they are amazing and I am happy to share them with you if you'd like. I really wanted the baby to come with me to recovery but this was not allowed due to the fact that the recovery room is also shared by women having surgery for such things as d/c's post m/c, it just wouldn't be fair to these women to have newborns in there as they come out of surgery having lost their child. I made DH promise that he would not leave the baby, and also promise that no other family member would hold him. I wanted to be the second person to hold him. Other than wipe his down slightly with a cloth there was no bathing. In fact Max didn't get his first bath until he was 3 days old! (an aside - I never understand why they whisk the baby away for a bath! seems very silly to me!). I breast fed as soon as I was back in my room and we nursed for 1 year!!

Really the only thing I would have done differently is I would have had DH and baby stay with me while I was getting sewn up. Instead they left not long after the birth so I felt like I was away from them for too long.

I must admit I did feel quite emotionally detached from the whole experience and I believe that was due to the very clinical nature of the birth. And whilst it did take me a good 24 hours to have a real surge of love for Max I have friends who have had vag deliveries who took just as long, if not longer. In the end I had and still do have the MOST amazing bond with Max and whilst his birth was not the experience I wished for it did not change my love for him.

Another thing to remember even though it may seem way off right now, your next pregnancy and birth will not necessarily be the same way. I had an amazing VBAC with Billy! Probably made even more wonderful b/c of the c-sec with Max.

Sorry for crapping on like I have! Just wanted to share some of my experiences with you. If you have any questions of want to chat about anything just let me know! You know where to find me, I hang out on all the cool boards! Wink

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

"selkiemom" wrote:

Do you have a name chosen? (only reveal it if you want to)

Can you tell us a little bit about your religion and how you want that to play into your birth? (We could take that discussion to that particular board if you'd prefer.)

His name is Spencer. I've had multiple ultrasounds at the perinatologist's office so we are 100% sure it's a boy. I've seen baby scrotum on the screen more than once. Lol

My religion....that's a good question. For those who don't know, I do consider myself a pagan although some days I feel more like an agnostic. That belief.net quiz calls me a secular humanist. So, yeah. I'm not sure what I am. But I do lean toward the pagan side of things, and since my DH has been a practicing Wiccan since the age of 16 we will certainly be raising our little guy with some of those beliefs. But I have to say, I want to raise him with knowledge of lots of different religions, not just the one(s) we are used to.

DH and I were both raised in Christian households but no longer subscribe to those beliefs. I know his grandparents will teach him about Christianity (whether we like it or not). But I also want him to learn about other cultures/religions and for him to know that no one path is the correct one. And if he is an atheist, that's fine too. I only want him to be a good person. And my girls from the atheist board will agree...you don't have to have religion to have morals. Wink

As for how I want my spirituality to affect my birth experience. I know that I will lean on the mother goddesses. My Gaia statue will be my focal point and I have some pagan chants on my ipod. Those things will help ground me and keep me focused, whether I have a c-section or vaginal birth.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I found doing birth art to be a really focussing and spiritual prep, too. I "don't" draw or paint but I love working with clay. not that I'm good at it! LOL I held the "family" statue I made through my surgery and found it really helped keep me focussed that the moments I was going through had an endpoint that I could focus on, instead.

Joined: 03/16/15
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That is an awesome idea Robin. And I love your statue. I've actually been shopping around for a little pocket goddess that I could hold during labor (or surgery). But nothing has jumped out at me yet. I may decide to make something. If nothing else, I will stare at DH's pentagram that he wears around his neck. It has a lot of sentimental value to both of us and I know it would bring me comfort.

Cyn, didn't you do some birth art too?

Joined: 03/16/15
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Robin, I love that sculpture!

Shelly, I set up a little altar in my room at the birth center, and it was really nice.

Here's a photo:

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Woot, Shelly's birth lodge!!

Joined: 05/05/04
Posts: 435

(((hugs))) You seem like you're in a pretty good place for everything that you're going through.

I just pulled out my Lifespan Development text (from college) to see if I could get insight into why Sam has turned into a crazy person. Lol Anyway, they called natural childbirth prepared childbirth too. And they included families who ended up with a scheduled c-section for reasons out of their control. The families were prepared for what was going to happen so they got put in the same group because most of NCB is preparing for the birth, knowing what to expect, and having a plan to deal with it.

I thought you might like to hear that Smile

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Thinking about you Shelly (((HUGS)))

I hope that Spencer turns at the last minute!

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"NatalieL" wrote:

(((hugs))) You seem like you're in a pretty good place for everything that you're going through.

I just pulled out my Lifespan Development text (from college) to see if I could get insight into why Sam has turned into a crazy person. Lol Anyway, they called natural childbirth prepared childbirth too. And they included families who ended up with a scheduled c-section for reasons out of their control. The families were prepared for what was going to happen so they got put in the same group because most of NCB is preparing for the birth, knowing what to expect, and having a plan to deal with it.

I thought you might like to hear that Smile

Thank you for that. That does make me feel better. :thanks:

GarlicBreath's picture
Joined: 09/12/06
Posts: 488

:bigarmhug:

How are you feeling?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Hi girls. I'm doing pretty good today. My maternity leave has started, although the FMLA person screwed up the paperwork and put the wrong date on my letter. So I have to call tomorrow to make sure they are actually paying me my vacation time for the correct dates. I wrote the correct dates on my Leave of Absence form. I think they mixed up my leave date with my due date. Ugh....it's partly my fault for not actually reading the approval letter when it came. But I'm still peeved that they screwed it up.

Other than that, things are okay. Baby is still breech...and as an added bonus. I have more strech marks where his head usually sits. Yeah. Sad

I have a couple of pictures to share today. Enjoy!

This afternoon: 38 weeks

My tribute to Alfred Hitchcock

DH's personal favorite

If you look close, you can see that this side of my belly is more rounded because that's the side my little one favors.

Today we went to our favorite pagan shop. They sent us a coupon...what better reason to go? Biggrin Anyhow, I picked up two very pretty pewter pocket goddesses. DH insisted on buying them for me. They are flat like a coin with a goddess etched on one side and a word on the other side. I got "protect" (a spiral goddess) and "courage" (a tree goddess). I'm going to keep them with me in the hospital and hold them in my hand during surgery, if I have to have a section. I think they will bring me a lot of comfort. I tried to take pictures of them, but they are so small that the pictures didn't turn out. Sorry. But trust me, they are very pretty.

No new ultrasound pics this time. I go to the perinatologist for a growth check ultrasound this coming week. That will probably be my last visit with them. We are scheduling a c-section for the week of the 15th. If the baby turns (which I'm still trying to convince him to do) we will cancel the surgery and go for an induction (thanks to my diabetes) during that same week. I'm not thrilled with either option, but they told me that with the amount of insulin I'm requiring my placenta will probably not make it much longer. So, either way I'll be somebody's mother in less than two weeks. Oh my.

Joined: 03/16/15
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Shelly, your attitude is second to none! You sound really good. And I love those peeking belly photos.

Monkeymoo's picture
Joined: 08/15/04
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LOL Shelly, those belly pics are too cool!! I'm going to have to show my DH, he will crack up!

I'm sending you turning vibes!! ((((turn baby turn))))

Joined: 04/13/04
Posts: 245

LOVE the belly pics! Especially the peeking ones! Smile Wow, two weeks and you'll be a mamma! How exciting!

GarlicBreath's picture
Joined: 09/12/06
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Eeeeee! How exciting! I love the belly pics too.

Joined: 05/05/04
Posts: 435

You're doing such a great job of handling all of these things! I'm impressed Biggrin

I love those belly pics Smile

Joined: 03/16/15
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Shelly I just heart you so much!!! Seriously, from the TTC board til now. I can't wait to see your little man!!

Joined: 03/16/15
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You are so darn cool- LOVE those pics!!! Come on baby, turn darn it!!! Turn or she will let the doctor spank you when you come out LOL!

(you think that scared him?)

Joined: 05/24/05
Posts: 944

I'm loving the belly pictures, and you can totally tell which way he's laying! You can see his head and the curve of his back. Very cool. That little man will be in your arms in no time. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he'll still turn, but it sounds like you've done a wonderful job preparing for multiple scenerios.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Wow, you're so close! I really wish I lived closer to you guys!

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Posts: 53852

Well, today I scheduled my c-section. Actually a lady at the doctor's office scheduled it for me and called me with the date and time. (We got our preference, so that's good, at least.) So, it's October 17th at 12:30 pm. That's only nine days ladies. Nine days until I meet my little man (unless of course I go into labor). I am so freaking excited. Not about the surgery, obviously. But about finally meeting this tiny person. I am already so in love. I do worry about bonding after the procedure, but I feel like I'm preparing as best I can and I've heard so many people say that bonding is gradual and it's not always love at first sight anyway. Either because you're exhausted or on painkillers or just plain emotionally drained. I feel that whether we bond instantly or not, he's still my baby boy and I can't wait to hold him in my arms.

I'm actually trying to see the positive here. DH has some father issues (his father was absent/abusive), and so he's been dealing with a lot of internal conflict. I think that him having a chance to be with the baby first (while the nurses check him over, take him to the nursery, etc...) will be a good thing in the long run. I think he worries more about bonding because he and his own father are so distant. DH is not at all like his father. And I can tell him that until I'm blue in the face, but he still has fears of turning out like him. I can't pretend to understand how he feels but I have no fears about him being a bad father. He's already been so involved in everything and is always asking me how I'm doing, has the baby been moving okay....he's been to every doctor appointment, he's been involved in so much of the planning and shopping. He's so excited, but also scared. I told him that we can never be 100% prepared, but we'll do the best we can one day at a time. And if we feel clueless about something, we'll just call one of the grandmas. Smile

Anyhow, back to the c-section. I picked up this book: http://www.csectionguide.com over the weekend. It's really great. It's not for or against c-sections. It just gives facts, tips on dealing with emotional stuff and personal stories, which I like reading. It really helps to hear from someone who has been through it. And it gives some great advice on recovery (physical and emotional). The women who wrote it have been through a variety of birth experiences (including planned and unplanned c-sections), which is nice. I'm so sick of reading things from a doctor's perspective. They also give some great advice on breastfeeding, which I will definitely use. There is a chapter on what to expect from a c-section baby. And even a section on gentle exercises you can do to help speed recovery. Good stuff. Very helpful to me. It's the only birthing book I have read all the way through because it all applies to me. (And yes, I've had it two days and finished it already....very rare for me because I'm a slow reader.)

So, yeah. It sucks and I'm a little bit sad today. But I'm more excited than sad because I just can't wait to meet my little man. I'm at a point now where I don't care how he gets here. I just want him here. I know that might not make sense to those who are opposed to c-sections. Hell, *I'm* opposed to c-sections in most cases. But I'm out of options and so I have to make the best of it. I might spend a few more days mourning the loss of the birth I wanted, but how often does a woman get the birth she hoped for anyway?

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Sometimes being aware of your fears and able to verbalize them keeps you on your toes about them, ya know? Bet he will do just GREAT!!! DH was the same way, and is still a bit to this day. He compares himself to his dad (who wasn't ever much of one) but I think it encourages him sometimes. He still cries, to this day, when I tell him what a great dad he is and how much his boys adore him!

Glad you are finding some helpful and healing resources, can't tell you enough how AWESOME ICAN is, you really REALLY need to look up your local group and join in!!!

http://ican-online.net/index.php?option=com_wrapper&Itemid=155

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Well, today was my second to last doctor appointment. Thank goodness. I am getting so tired of doctors. For a while I was seeing two doctors each week. Today was my last visit with the perinatologist. They did a BPP and everything looked fine. No growth estimate, so I didn't get the "your-baby-is-too-big-because-you're-diabetic" speech. I told them about the c-section and they answered some of my questions. Of course, the baby was being stubborn so we didn't get any good pics this time. But whatever. Soon enough I'll see him face-to-face.

Tomorrow I go to my regular OB for the last time before the section. (Unless she wants to schedule one more meeting before then....I have no idea.) I have a whole list of questions to ask, since she's the one who will do the surgery.

I'm kind of irritated that they want me to fast for 10-12 hours. I'm on insulin for pete sake. It's not really wise to take insulin without food, ya know? So, I'm going to ask her about that. I understand not eating before surgery (kind of...since I'll be awake for it). But they don't even want me to drink water for 12 hours. WTF? I'm a very thirsty person. And I pee so much that I can't imagine it stays with me for very long. I'm going to see if I can continue with water until four or five hours. It just seems cruel to dehydrate a pregnant lady. Then, as soon as I get there they'll hook me up to IVs and pump me full of liquids. Why can't I just hydrate myself until a few hours before surgery? They're going to cath me anyhow. Jeez....

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

When I had hand surgery during my pg it was at like 10am and I had to fast from midnight on. I explained I was pg and couldn't mess with glucose levels like that and they said to eat right about midnight and then have water only up until 6am.

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