Part 2: The baby story (yes, very long!)
So, after living here, buying our little house (and getting a couple of those longed-for dogs), and settling in for a few years, we started talking babies. By late 2008, after nearly four years of marriage, we were starting to feel ready. We began getting sort of halfheartedly lazy with BC in the fall, and in December 2008 I had a surprise BFP. We were shocked but excited, and the next morning I called the Birth Center to make an appointment. About an hour later, I started bleeding…it was to be my first m/c, at 5 weeks. We were very sad, but it had all happened so quickly, and so unexpectedly, that it was more of a shock at that point than anything. The main “loss” I felt was the loss of innocence; the loss of the carefree idea that BFP=baby. After doing a bunch of research, I felt better about the probability that it was just a fluke and totally normal, but you can never really go back after a m/c, even one as early and relatively trauma-free as mine had been. The silver lining was that the experience and our reaction to it really kicked us past the wishy-washy do we or don’t we stage, and we both knew we REALLY did want kids now.
So after the recommended 3 month waiting period, we started trying in earnest. The very first month, I tested on my expected period date and—hey! BFP! This time we were a little cautious but sure it must have just been a fluke last time, and even told our moms in celebration. We’d gone out of town for Porter’s birthday weekend the next day, and spent the trip just glowing with cautious excitement. The last night, I woke up in the night to pee and noticed a little tinge on the toilet paper. Warning lights went off in my head, but I tried to ignore them. By the time we got home the next day, though, it was undeniable—it was m/c #2, and again at 5 weeks exactly. This time I started thinking something was really going on with me, since I’d had two in a row that were absolutely identical. And so early, what could it be but hormones? Together with some chronic yeast infection issues I was having, that theory started to make a lot of sense, the more research I did. Ultimately I decided that even though most doctors (including my birth center) won’t start testing until after 3 m/c, I really didn’t want to have to go through another one, followed by another recovery period, when I just knew in my heart that something simple like progesterone would likely fix the problem altogether. So, sadly, I left the birth center and found a very aggressive OB who was willing to help me. She didn’t test, saying that hormone levels fluctuate too much to be useful without a lot of charting and data, but she put me on vaginal progesterone cream for the yeast infections, saying that if I got pregnant to definitely NOT stop using it, and to call her right away.
Which is exactly what happened. Once again, the very first month, I got that BFP, and this time it was STRONG. I called and she got me in and switched me to oral progesterone, and signed me up for an u/s at 6w4d. The most amazing experience was seeing that little bean with its beating heart floating happily and securely in my belly…but DH had gotten stuck in traffic and missed the appointment! I came out of the office holding the strip of pictures just as he was running across the parking lot—he saw me and started crying. It was really sad. To make up for it, we went out for ice cream and bought the baby her first toy at our favorite toy store—I let him pick it out
From there, things went pretty smoothly. Armed with a couple of extra weeks and pictures of a heartbeat, we did tell our moms again but swore them to secrecy. The OB subjected me to a crazy amount of bloodwork and testing just to be on the safe side (which is what I wanted at that point), and everything came back beautiful. When she couldn’t find the heartbeat on Doppler at my 8w appointment, she sent me for another u/s just to be sure—I knew it was super early to hear the hb on Doppler anyway, but I was so nervous that I went ahead and took the extra chance to check in with baby. This time DH made it, and we got pics of our much bigger bean, this time with little arms and legs and actual movement on the screen! We were awestruck. We took those pictures and made the announcement to our bosses and immediate family—I needed to explain my more frequent absences at work, and we were both feeling pretty confident by that time. As confident as you can feel as first time parents with 2 m/c under your belt, anyway! And I was still on the progesterone.
When my first trimester ended and she took me off the pills, I was super nervous, but a week went by, and then two, and nothing happened. At 15 weeks, I decided I was “safely” pregnant, and ready to switch back to the birth center for the remainder of my care. The OB had gotten me what I wanted—a healthy pregnancy—for which I was sincerely grateful, but now that I was over the hump, I knew I didn’t want the rest of my treatment, or particularly my birth experience, to be nearly so aggressive and medical. I called the birth center to get set up, and to my horror was told they were full for June! I had not counted on this! Nearly in tears, I pleaded my case—I was a patient there already, I’d just gone to an OB for a minute because I needed help and ohpleasedon’tleavemewiththisOBisthereanythingyouca ndo…the receptionist was incredibly nice and put in a request for a midwife to call me back and discuss the situation. I carried my phone around like an extra appendage for days. On the third day, the phone rang, and I heard “Hi, this is Marley calling from the birth center…” and I launched into my whole spiel at top speed and passion. The minute she could get a word in edgewise, she said “Um, okay, well I was just calling to tell you there’s an opening for June if you want it…” hahaha so of course I said YES YES YES.
We’re keeping her name a secret, but the day we got the 20 week ultrasound (…life changing) and found out for sure that we were having a girl (I KNEW IT—everyone kept telling me it was a boy, but I just knew) we went out for dinner at our favorite brewery and hashed out her name. We’d had some…issues with the name discussion getting somewhat heated, so I stole Kristen’s brilliant idea of comparing individual top-five lists, and lo and behold we had a match at #2. I let him pick from the three middle names I’d been kicking around since I really liked them all equally, and voila: we had a name. We’ve been having a grand old time keeping it secret, and it is making our family CRRRAZZY! Hahaha. The big reveal is going to be really fun
The rest is really pretty much history. This has honestly been a very easy pregnancy so far—my complaints have been pretty minor, and most have passed within a few days. The worst was some serious low back pain that gradually got so bad that it had me pretty much crippled a couple of weeks ago, but I started seeing a chiropractor and now I’m feeling great. At 36 and a half weeks, I’m definitely starting to feel like there isn’t room in this body for the both of us, but I’m trying hard to stay patient and enjoy this last time with her being so close, and appreciate this last quiet peace with Porter and the dogs in our little bubble. We are both quite impatient to meet our newest family member, though. Porter has been the cutest dad on earth already, enthusiastically attending Hypnobirthing classes and practicing with me, rubbing belly butter in and having a chat with his daughter every single night since we hit the second trimester, sometimes singing or reading books to her in there. For her part, she’s been really funny and interactive, and definitely responds to our pats and gentle pokes, and the sound of her dad’s voice (she gets very excited when she hears him!)
I am terrible at understanding her position, but after numerous confirmations by the midwife I’m pretty sure she’s mostly head down (somewhat transverse, though, I think) so I’ve been sitting on my yoga ball a lot, and we’ve started doing more end-stage relaxations and visualizations. I absolutely want her to pick her own birthday, but at the same time I will risk out of the birth center at 41 weeks (liability insurance reasons: boo!) and Porter has to go back to work on July 19th, so we do want to gently encourage her, should she be ready, to come on the earlier side if at all possible. I won’t do anything induction-related until she starts showing distress, but I don’t see the harm in just getting everything favorable and prepared as much as possible. I got some RRL and will probably start EPO soon, too. And sex, once I get this current YI cleared up (ugh).
Today we have a prenatal consult with a doctor recommended by the BC, and I’m very excited about that! Will let you all know how it goes…
After that I haven't decided yet. I kind of want to see how it goes, but I'm guessing I probably won't go right back to full time in January either. We'll see...
welcome to your lodge, Leigh! There are quite a few of us Junebugs on here!
Free money? Swagbucks!
Wow, what a leap of faith to pack up everything and move. Good for you guys! I really enjoyed learning more about you. That is so sweet about your Dh, sounds like he is very excited.
~Joy~ DS1-8/5/05, DS2-10/18/10 (VBAC#1), DS3- 4/11/12 (VBAC#2!)
Great intro Leigh! Lodges are so great to get to know people better.
I remember my DH missing an early ultrasound with Audrey. He was running so late that we passed each other in the hospital parking lot after it was over. He was so disappointed. Your DH does sound like he'll be a great daddy.