Hi Lea! Just wanted to cheer you and Tegan on in the homestretch!
Welcome to your lodge
welcome to your lodge!!!! Looking forward to reading your story
I have a lodge!! Yay!
My intro is going to be looong and complicated, as those of you who are on my BB will know. But I'll try to get most of it written tonight, Hayleys playing on LOTR on the PS2 so she should be quiet for a little while
So.. I'll get writing that intro, and thankyou for all your welcomes!
Lea-Mama to Tegan, born 17/08/08 with Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus
Hey pal! Welcome and cant wait to read your intro
Rachel & Ryan
Amelia Ryan 4-14-07
So I'll start from the beginning.. Lol this might take a while.
My name is Lea, my partner is Hayley. The whole 'how we got together' bit is extremeley long winded and complex; I might save that for another time Anyway. I'm 20, and Hayley is 21, and we live together in a small-ish town in the middle of the UK. We have a cat named Boo, who is lovely and a lot of fun to live with, we have no sofa because it didn't fit into our flat and we live in a one bedroomed flat (apartment?) which I absolutely love.
hayley and I decided at the beginning of November last year that we wanted a baby. There were no two ways about it; something was missing in our relationship and it took us a while to figure out what it was, but when we eventually did, we were in for a shock!! Hayley isn't the type of woman to show the way she feels a lot; it took me a while to get used to that because I'm generally a very emotionally open person and living with someone who kept her thoughts so confined really hit me hard in the beginning. Things are easier now, because Hayley has a lot more trust in me and almost doesn't hesitate to tell me anything she feels I need to know. Things are sometimes still hard though.
I'm waffling already Anyway, we decided about 5 November last year that we wanted a child. We needed to gather together supplies; find a donor, get syringes, ovulation sticks, a basal thermometer for me, 3 months worth of pre-natal vitamins, and some books on how 'to do it' So by the time I was ready to ovulate that month we were ready. We inseminated the two days before I ovulated and the day after. I'd been taking O sticks all month, and continued to do so. A couple of days after the insemination I started to feel different. I told hayley I thought I was pregnant and she told me we should wait. The O sticks were showing positive by the time I was 7DPO, and at 9DPO I took a pregnancy test. Positive!! The first month we tried to conceive I was pregnant. We were over the moon
My first trimester was pretty textbook. I bled at 8 and then 12 weeks, mostly after DTD the think. I was a hormonal wreck - I suffer from bi-polar affective disorder and have a hard time living day to day anyway when I'm unmedicated but I refused to pose any risk to our baby; pregnancy is nine months long, our baby will be with us forever.
At about 17 weeks I was ill with a stomach bug or something, and had been having stomach pains and vomiting throughout the day. By 2am I was really uncomfortable and worried, and the next time I was going to vomit I ran up the stairs and hit my bump on the wall when I reached the top. Within 30 minutes I had a bruise. Hayley called NHS direct - the UK's health service which offers advice 24/7) who sent an ambulance because I was cramping badly by now.
I had an internal etc and spent about 8 hours in the hospital. No discharge no blood, nothing, so they sent me home and said to call tomorrow (it was Sunday by now) and book an u/s for sometime during the week.
I went for my u/s that Tuesday. As soon as the sonographer put the probe on my stomach I knew something was wrong. I spent a good 20 minutes on the bed, panicking, just knowing in my heart, before the sonographer said to me 'can you go for a walk and I'll have another look in half an hour; I can't get a clear view from where I am'. So we did, and the next time we went back, we were told that the baby had Spina Bifida. Nothing about the severity, they didn't mention what it is, just referred us to a consultant the next day and in their eyes, that was that.
Finding out about the baby's SB was the hardest day of my life. Hayley had never heard of SB before, had no idea what it was, but I did. I have a very distant relative on my Dad's side who has it. As soon as I heard those words, I broke down, and I cried. I cried more than I have ever cried in my entire life. I knew that my decision was not changed - I will give this baby every part of my being to make her life more comfortable - but I knew that the baby I had expected, the one we all think we are going to have, who is healthy, and whose first steps we will see, was gone. I struggled for a long time, thinking maybe the decision I had made was the wrong one. Maybe I was selfish, maybe I would make our baby's life unbearable just because I could not bear to part with it. But nothing changed, I stood my ground and refused the termination everytime it was offered and worked on educating myself, Hayley and our families about babies/children/people with Spina Bifida.
I've had multiple U/S's, all of which have revealed that Tegan has fluid in the ventricles of her brain. This is called Hydrocephalus and will need to be treated by means of a shunt - a plastic pipe that is passed from the ventricles of the brain to the abdominal cavity to drain the fluid off. We don't know for certain when this surgery will be performed but I have no doubt that it will. Tegan has a hole in her back which is about 3cms long and 2cms wide, through which the spinal fluid is leaking. This hole will need to be closed within the first 48 hours of her life.
She may never walk - which at first was something that really bothered me. It broke my heart, and I blamed myself for her illness. I asked my consultant if it was my fault. His answer was - did you take folic acid before conception and until at least 12 weeks? And my answer was yes. I sometimes even took my vits twice because I kept forgetting. Apparently the risk of spina bifida to any family is like a bag full of black balls and one red one. There are 999 black balls, and one red ball. You stick your hand in, and the ball you get is your baby. I picked the red ball, and the red ball was the one with SB. In my mind, it's not my fault. I did nothing wrong, Tegan is the way she is and that is all I can say about that.
I've been in the hospital for the best part of the last week because my BP has been high. I'm not a fan of hospitals, but I know I have to get used to it - I'll be staying in the hospital with Tegan when she's born, and she'll be in there for at least a week, maybe more. The consultant who I saw on Thursday night palpitated my uterus and laughed.. "Ooooh, big baby!!" He said. We'll find out about that when she's born!
I'm due to be induced when I reach 38 weeks by hospital dates. Their dates are 5 days behind mine.. which is impossible, because I know when I got pregnant So, I'll find out a date for certain at my appointment this Thursday when I'm being induced, but It will be anytime during the 7 days following the 7th of August. Not long to go now
If you've read all this, you are a lot more patient than I am. I can't believe I've got a lodge! I love to sit down and read through all the lodges. They're a great idea.. and there are so many mama's on our BB (August) with lodges that we have a sticky with all the links in
I only have one more thing to add - I've lost most or all of my mucous plug but I know that holds little towards saying when / if I will go into labour by myself. I'm trying to figure out ways to help my body be more 'ready' for labour when I'm induced - any ideas or help there? I'm hitting a brick wall lately
Hope my intro wasn't too long
Last edited by hr.lr.07; 07-19-2008 at 05:22 PM.
Lea-Mama to Tegan, born 17/08/08 with Spina Bifida and Hydrocephalus
Lea, your intro was awesome. I think I told you before that I love your positive attitude towards the SB. I pray that things will go well and I know they will.
Congrats on losing your MP