oohh family are the worst when it comes to advice I think lol
So glad your feeling better though & that the UTI symptoms are clearing up, yay!
Did your MIL bottlefeed? That's only an issue if your bottle feeding. It's good that her head is in a side lying position, it actually helps drain the milk properly which helps her *not* get an ear infection
The bum drying thing kind of made me giggle lol Yea it's unnessisary and would probably make me a bit batty too, it is sorta funny though lol (hopefully you wont hate me for saying that )
My MIL breastfed her babies, so I have no idea where she got the idea. I looked up ear infections in the book Tehani's pediatrician gave me ("Caring for your Baby and Young Child" by the American Pediatrics Association) and it said that bottle fed infants who self-feed lying on their backs may be more succeptible to ear infections because formula can get in their eustacian tubes, but it didn't say anything about breastfeeding, so I figured it wasn't an issue.
My mom told me that the way she delt with unsolicited advice when she had babies was to say "Well, my pediatrician said..." and then say that the doctor had recommended whatever way it is that you want to do things with your baby. I tried this with MIL, saying that the doctor had said she should sleep on her back (which is TRUE, every medical professional in the world will tell you infants are supposed to sleep on their backs unless there's a reason for them not to because it's the best way to prevent SIDS) and her response was "I bet the doctor didn't have nine kids" UGH! It made me so mad! Just because you have a lot of kids doesn't necessarily mean you know everything about what's best for them. I'm just frustraited that it seems like she doesn't care about my opinion...I know something about childcare--I worked with children FOR A LIVING, some of it directly with infants, before I became a SAHM, and I was trained on the best practices for infant care. I am not an ignorant FTM who knows nothing about babies! I am the mother, I will make the decisions about what's best for my baby! Okay...rant over. I had to complain to someone, and I can't really complain to DH about this because she's his mom, and to him, she's always right.
The bum drying thing is kind of funny. When I was working in daycare, we had new infant start coming, and in her instructions, the mother wrote "Make sure his bum is completely dry before you put the clean diaper on him"...we all laughed at it and just changed him the way we changed all the other babies.
Oh... I so understand what you are saying!!! My MIL is amazing (mom of 10 children DH = #2 of her 10) and I hear the "Well you know with my children they never.... or when I was raising mine the dr.s said this and it always worked. That is just a hard one to deal with. At those times I simply let her say what she has to and then make my choices on how to raise my children. DH notices too... that when I do it my way it works wonders for the children and for me. He has since been converted to my way of doing things in most instances.
I believe all moms have an inner voice that directs them to do it the way that it should be done. Just because others have children and it works for them does not mean it will be the same in your home. You are doing GREAT!
Ask your MIL if she would take advice from a doc who hadn't practiced medicine since the days her children were babies. Remind her that "best practices" change as research is done and we learn new things. She, herself, hasn't cared for an infant or been updated on the best recommendations for their care since (insert date). So weather she has 9 kids or 99 kids makes no difference at all. Times change. Does she want you to raise your children on 30 year old advice? I doubt it.
You are doing fine, I'm sure. Just filter all the advice you get on the way in and let most of it go right back out...
I wanted to thank you so much for your sweet comments on my lodge, I am desperately trying to play catch up here some. I am right there with you on the MIL and strange advice...Mine seems to think that my 2 week old baby has capriciousness and is plotting to sleep with me instead of in his bed.
Dh said " just act like you don't understand when she says something you don't agree with...
and my MIL is actually usually the best , coolest MIL ever.Just let it roll off the back
My MIL had her last baby 10 years ago (my DH is the second oldest of the 9 and he is only 25) and she practically raised her other grandchild, my 5 year old niece, because DH's older sister split up with her ex-husband while she was pregnant and moved back in with her parents. I get the feeling she's going to think she's right no matter what I say. DH went to his parents' house last night because he has to go up north to take the GMAT today. I stayed here with the baby, giving the excuse that I didn't want to pack up all the baby's stuff and haul it there for one day when he was going to be busy the whole time we were there anyway. That's partly true, but I didn't tell him that a bigger reason reason was that I just couldn't handle his mom trying to tell me I was doing things wrong. If she can't see me, she doesn't know.
We got some really great gifts for Tehani from a guy my dad works with and his wife. A fisher price rainforest swing and play mat, which match the bouncy seat we already had (I got it with my credit card points) and a boppy with a pink slipcover. I love the swing because it can put Tehani to sleep and the boppy is amazing--I don't know how I lived without it before!
I don't know if I just need to drink more or what, but for the last couple of days Tehani has had a a time, always at night, when she acts like she's still hungry after a feeding. I've been just trying to soothe her for as long as I can to give my body time to make more milk and then letting her eat again, and continuing that cycle until she finally goes to sleep. The rest of the times I feed her she seems satisfied, so I don't know what's going on.
I've been wondering if maybe my milk supply issues could be caused by insufficient calorie intake. I'm pretty much down to my pre-pregnancy weight now, so my body doesn't have anything to live on if everything I eat goes to the baby. I'm going to try to eat more and see if that helps.
Funny story: We live in an apartment complex and have a laundry room with coin-op laundry (I hate it and I can't wait to move). I was doing laundry today, and when I went in the first time, there was only one washing machine not being used so I did a load of whites, then when I went back in to put the whites in the dryer and do a load of the baby's clothes, I threw the dryer sheets in the bag with the baby's clothes because it was easier to carry that way. When I went to put the baby clothes in the dryer, I thought, "Hey, where are the dryer sheets?" And, yep, when I opened the dryer I found that I had washed the box of dryer sheets with the baby's clothes! I had to try an pick pieces of wet cardboard out of the washing machine while carying the now sleeping Tehani in the bjorn (I have the Infantino CozyRider one)--I put her in it because she had woken up, if she had been asleep, I would have just run to the laundry room, because it's only 2 doors down from our apartment.
I don't blame you for not wanting to go, I don't think I would either! Even if you hadn't had all of the training with children & infants your still her mama & you know what's best for her, it's instinct to know
It sounds like she's probably clutser feeding. All of my babies did this at night too, it can be draining sometimes. I often hand the baby to dh so I can get a stretch & a break & then were back at it lol She may also be going through a growth spurt or she may also be nursing more so that she can increase your milk supply.
LOL @ the dryer sheets ~ I can totally see myself doing something like that